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I had hoped to be the girl of his dreams,
Turns out he was the guy of my nightmares.
Plot twist: I woke up.
I can stop myself from texting him
That's a start
But if I don't want to think about him
Well...
That's a whole lot harder
But I can't listen to love songs
Or sad love songs
Or sad songs
Or angry songs
Or Ed Sheeran because he loves his music
Or the song Riptide by Vance Joy because he loves that song too
This music reminds me too much of him
I can't use the word lovely
Because that was my favorite word he used to call me
And he knew it, so he used it all the time
I can't even wear dresses and skirts anymore because he always liked girls wearing dresses and skirts
I can't read John Green because he actually liked his writing style
And I can't read ANY quotes from Neil Gaiman because he loved his writing
He of course, had to be a writer and a poet so it's hard to read love poetry without his name creeping into mind
I hate how I can't even finish the novel I was writing because I included some events based off of some of my favorite moments between us
I can't look at pictures of England because he really wanted to live in England one day
I can't look his exgirlfriend who he still cares for who goes to my school in the eye because just like he always did I will always compare myself to her and I can never measure up to even close to what she is
I can't text the words "haha" because he used that instead of lol all the time
I can't even talk about him to someone without feeling pathetic
He just wrecked everything
He ruined my favorite outfits, music, music artists, writing, books, countries, and even my novels that I had ideas I was just so excited for.
I just can't get him out of my mind
And the truth is
I don't like him anymore
I really don't
but I do miss him
and I admit that
I don't want to
but honestly, I do
So it is just easier... to forget
Although with all the things that lead me back to him
It's proving not to be easier
and I kind of don't want to forget
because he was the closest I ever came
To really liking a guy
Who liked me back
and just like the tense he used when he said goodbye to me
I say liked
*not like.
why does everything bring me back to his name
how do you get over a guy????
at least I have stopped texting him
it's just that I almost want to.
Almost. :(
idk.
help.
how do you get over someone?
I sit here in misery
"My hands shake"
I scream at a reflection
Me, Me, Me
Will I be that which I need to be.

(chorus)
I need crimson flushed over me
I need crimson within me
I need to see the misery
I need too see cold eyes in front of me.

I cry at the moments of misery
She is the mistress of needed lust
Will she not answer my prayers
I will never wash it away from me.

(chorus)
I need crimson flushed over me
I need crimson within me,
I need to see the misery
I need too see cold eyes in front of me.

Will I ever bleed enough crimson,
There is beauty in the bleeding  
To  feed her greed,
Will she be satisfied as I am in misery.
I have left crimson cold on the ground
Will I ever see her my **crimson queen.
A new twist of the knife...
Sure, nag me about how I need to make friends.
I don't work well with people.
1   They don't listen to me
2   They don't notice me
3   They think I'm shallow
4  They aren't aged like me,
Mentally children.
5   They don't understand the power (the curse) the agony

Don't even know about it
Don't understand why I can't be a kid
'Cause my life's dedicated to finding the truth
And not going crazy
And I can't stand their ignorance
What scares me the most?
The moment you let go.
Don't drop me anymore, please.
I'm on my knees begging.
Loghain, I am confused
You have proclaimed yourself to be
The worlds greatest living artist
With both pen and brush!
Nay, nay in your own words
The greatest artist who has ever lived
Who then am I to disagree
For I am but a simple mediocre man
With humility in my soul
And therefore must bow before your wisdom
And yet
Hours spent scouring the internet
Studying the great artists and poets
And I can find no reference to your name
Among the artistic greats
Of this modern world
Perhaps you are the artistic angel of god
And he in his infinite wisdom has decided
Not to release your great artistic prowess
Upon we the subservient illiterate masses
As a sub par human I bow
Yes I bow before the greatness that is you
You who deserve the accolades poured upon you
Loghain oh superior being
Long may you rain
The very last word is not
A typo
 Jan 2015 AnActualToaster
ryn
"You love them
With all your heart and soul
Yet, you can't be with them
But you'll never let them go...
And it hurts..."*
- The Girl Who Loved You


Submerged and gasping
Swept away by the immense wave
Thoughts of you I'm painfully drinking
To my heart I'm but a slave

Caught in the undertow
Find myself submitting carelessly
Brushed aside all that I used to know
Drowning in emotional debris

There's strength in me yet
I need not be killed today
I could break free, I could forget
But fight I do not, instead still I lay

Because you see... You are the ocean
And I am but an invisible speck
I, too, want a place in heaven
Not wallow an inconsolable wreck

I'd get washed over but I'd swim deeper
So we could exist only in memory
My heart betrays but never will I sever
Even if you're the love that was never meant to be
Line taken off TGWLY's "To All The People Who Can't Have The One They Love:", for Frank Ruland's "Let's Do A Line!" challenge.

TGWLY is one of the first friends I made here and she's such an incredible writer!

This line of hers bears so much that I'd shed a tear everytime I read it. It rings so true for most of us. It made me relate...it made me feel human.

Thank you TGWLY for the inspiration and Frank for setting up the opportunity for me/us to acknowledge and give credit to those who've penned down solid lines embedded within amazing writes.
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