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I love you with all my might,
All my heart and all my life.
But if you fail to put up with my battles,
I'll cleave our bonds with a knife.
Where were you,
when I fell apart,
Where were you,
when the beating in my chest ached to end,
Where were you,
when life crashed in and stole my tears away in pill bottles,
Where were you,
when I decided enough was enough.
Where are you?
I don't see you by me casket.
It's okay,
It's not the first time I've been abandoned
is it crazy?
to think
that if you fall in love with me
it would totally be too early
but we could totally still last forever
My mind is the writer
my heart is the editor
You’re drowning yourself,
In fear and doubt,
But too scared to sink,
So you held out one arm,
Waiting for someone to reach it,
To pull you up,
And it hurts to feel,
No touch on your cold skin.

A tragedy indeed,
Ocean of tears,
With no boat around,
Only your feet,
To keep you afloat,
A death wish,
Partially committed.
Cuts on your wrists,
Not deep enough,
Too scared to bleed,
But a need to feel.
Awake, aging and alone.
Tortured by only two of these things
How could you expect me
To dive into your heart
When the water is shallow
And filled with the reefs of your pride

Often…..
I got hurt
With bruises and cuts
When your rough wave
Hit me hard

Wish you could see
That I’m tired
Of fighting the tide
Wish you realize
That I’m not floating
Nor I try to swim

Because….
I’m waiting for you
To save me
From drowning
But seems like
You just wanna let go
And watch me ….. sink

-Jess
 Sep 2019 AM stardust spirit
han
I’m tired of hearing
the same things
“you’re amazing”
I don’t want to be told
I want to be shown
that I’m captivating
of your attention
that I’m worth your days
Words mean nothing
without the feeling
behind them
that evokes them
in the first place
February 26th~han
I can't sleep
Everytime I remember your words
They snap and recoil
And hurt me awake
Next time when someone
Promises me forever
I'll just smile
Look them in the eyes and ask
How long is forever to you.
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