20something

20something Jul 2014

Finally

for me
it is either completely meaningless
or absolutely meaningful
there is no gray area in my atmosphere
you will feel my fire for all that it's worth
or the cold wind of desolation and abandonment will haunt you until I say otherwise
maybe nothing comes next
maybe i'm reaching for something that was never there to begin with
but i have to get off the fence that I've been balancing on for far too long
because ******,
this is about me.

I have been chasing an aborted idea
and you have let me,
feeding me with the encouraging nutrients I needed.
yet now as I bleed out, I can't blame you,
regardless of the empty words you had me feeling full of,
putting aside the "maybes" that live on your tongue,
because I knew all along that this one was never going to make it full term,
and ******
this is about me.

#love #words #fire #pain #empty #bleed #me #maybe #idea #finally

20something Jul 2014

Flashback To A War

I feel like I just walked away from a battle,
broken and bruised,
every inch of me aches and throbs,
and I've got nothing left to lose

You stole my dignity,
and shattered my trust,
You trampled my ego,
left my hope lying in the dust.

I should have known it was coming,
you've never fought fair.
You've always been sneaky
because you just didn't care

Look at me now;
I can barely face what I've become
because that girl looks like she's defeated
and I refuse to accept that you've won.

#trust #broken #war #hope #lost #now #defeat #care #fair #flashback

20something Jul 2014

formerly known as

You can have anything you want,
but you can't have everything
A time comes in everyone's life
when you must choose what's worth risking

I've been living day to day,
chasing something I can't even see
A competition I didn't even know I was in
until I realized that I was losing

Now what's at stake and what I have left
is being weighed by Justice's scales.
All I'm left with is the skeleton of who I used to be
and a face that I barely recognize as my own

#self #life #time #lost #friend #own #risk #former

20something Jul 2014

Summer

constantly wondering if it's your lack of effort or mine;
either way we're both disappointed and wasting time.

you say you're waiting to hear from someone and so am I,
but are we waiting for each other or has our chance already passed us by?

i thought that what we had was real, but maybe I was mistaken
because you're talking about "her" and I'm not sure if that's me or my replacement

we are more than star crossed; it can't just be a matter of bad timing
we might be too different, maybe this no longer worth all the trying.

I'm know I'm probably just running like always; looking for the easy way out
but I'm hoping you'll stop me from going, by taking away all my doubts

Convince me you're worth staying for; make this rolling stone want to slow down
'Cause I've been around the block a few times too many, and my baggage weighs a pound.

This isn't the first poem you've inspired in me and I know it won't be the last,
but I need know is if this will end in romance or become a distant memory of our past

#love #life #summer #mistake #her #me #different #chance #effort #mine

Jul 2014

Patrick Diaz

Until You Became One

----you never paid
much
    attention
           to
                interesting
                                places
until you became one

      you never paid
much
    attention
           to
                breathless
                              thoughts
until you became one

      you never paid
much
    attention
           to
                happiness
until you became one

      you never paid
much
    attention
         to
                the worth of
                            someone's time
until you became one

      you never paid
much
    attention
          to
                 secrets
                        hidden on journals
until you became one

      you never paid
much
    attention
          to
                 love
until you became one

Jul 2014

Jake

Sanity.

I write down my thoughts so they can breathe.
Don't mistake them for poetry.
I write to prove to myself that even on days I awake with my own blood on my hands.
I still am sane.
Or at least something similar to that.
Because if I was truly sane I would hate myself.
And I grew tired of that many months ago.