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Celine Ngo Jun 2023
im scared
ive barricaded my door
cried a river into my floor
someone save me

im scared
i thought i was strong enough to be on my own
but now i'm afraid to be in my own home
someone please save me
november 2021
Celine Ngo Jun 2023
my anchor when i’m drifting out at sea
bringing me down to earth when i fly too high in the clouds and forget to leave
someone who accepts me as I am, flaws and ADHD
yet you’re still able to see my potential i hid underneath

my favourite and sacred novel i’d never want to lose
with meaning beyond the surface, metaphysical, spiritual, and so divine
not stereotypical or ordinary, not one about vices like drugs and *****
so darling, let’s have our past, present, and future intertwine

my sunshine illuminating the best in me
rays so warm that everyone can’t help but smile even if you’re far away
but even the sun can be obscured on gloomy days, so as your moon i’ll reflect your sunshine back so we can be a brighter we
i want to be by your side for the rest of our days

my rock by the riverside of a forest,
one that i can always return to
the soft and warm fire in my heart
that burns no matter if we’re together or apart

my guiding light showing me the way
taking things slow and steady
when other boys i’ve known just want to play
november 2021
Celine Ngo Nov 2021
winter winds shook my branches
killed my leaves, so i guess i'll leave
chilled my roots and its plain to see
the willow tree was never meant to be
Celine Ngo Nov 2021
so blinded by the rose tint of my glasses
so far-sighted whenever i thought of you grinning from ear to ear
yet i was so nearsighted whenever you were here

now that i'm slowly correcting my vision
maybe my prescription isn't a perfect 20-20
but i feel like i've reflected and understood plenty

at best, you're just an acquaintance, not a friend
yeah, i might be seeing things 20-21
but to me, everything we did was never just for fun
Celine Ngo Nov 2021
i felt it then
the crack spreading across my window pane
drowning into an ocean of shards of pain
when was the last time i felt this way?

yeah, i'll put the porcelain pieces back together
but how did it break when you never promised me forever
so please, don't ever treat me like i'm yours
if you're going to abandon me at the thrift store

maybe it's my fault for wanting more
but really, you played a big role in my heart that tore
Celine Ngo Nov 2021
its all your fault, its all your fault
its all my fault, its all my fault
it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter
we're both at fault here
but go ahead and blame me, make me the villain
it's because you never learned how to be chillin'
or maybe i just never learned to care
but if that's the case, how come you were never there?

i think in that regard, its not fair
i was there for you through thick and thin
because if i didn't, you'd try to get under my skin
and yet you've never been there for me
quit spamming me on ig

yeah, too busy talking **** about me to our friends
but i've been called every single name under the sun
so good luck if you're tryna have some fun
coulda been friends but you wanted more
wanted me to block you from the waves while i died on the shore

So obsessed with who’s real and who’s fake
In that case maybe you should take a double-take
Only ever hitting me up when you’re lonely
Stop thinking we homies when you don’t even know me
Not even trying to get to know me beyond the surface
Yeah, these conversations to me have no purpose

Yeah got all these little boys tryna hit me up for affection
Don't care about the real me, only the attention
But boys don't get me wrong, just because I'm alone doesn't mean I need your fixation
Alone but not lonely, yet the men I like don't like my complexion
Unfortunate but it's okay, I'm looking for forever
So before that, I gotta get better

Acting like you’re the only one with issues
Well guess what boy, everybody’s got a mountain of tissues
Yeah, everybody’s got their problems
But unlike you, they keep quiet and try to solve em

Yeah I may be a psych major
And you may think that works out in your your favour
but friends ain’t being your personal therapist
I met too many just like you, could make a list
Yeah I ain’t tryna sound heartless but
If you think that, then you don’t know me at all, case shut

“I know you, you wouldn’t do something like that”
Yeah, the real ones don’t need me to obsessively hit em back
They respect my ADHD, yeah it’s a neurological disorder
I was born with it, people like you always tryna change my borders
They didn't even know about it beforehand, yeah they like me for me
Even been there for me when I had to go through therapy

Now you run your mouth around town
Truth be told, you brought my mental health down
When we were together, not now
I’ve been called every name under the sun, running your mouth only makes you look like a clown

Yeah I don’t like being bitter
But truth be told boy, you’re a real vibe killer
I’m always thinking about the big picture
But you always make everything about you, like you’re some famous fixture
Keep that in mind next time you complain about getting bitten
Think about how you made a tiger out of this fluffy kitten
this has been sitting in my drafts completed since march 15 unpublished and i have no idea why? but it shall be freed now :D

please do not share any of my works without my permission!
Celine Ngo Apr 2021
autumn leaves
the wind is starting to blow
a chill settling in my bones
never liked autumn, the season of death and endings
decaying leaves being stepped on beyond mending

yeah, i’ve always been a spring or summer type of girl
dreaming bout the warmth and the sun, shimmering pearls
but for the first time, through the crisp colours in the trees
i realized there’s more warmth to autumn than i originally believed

but this time, the chill is thrilling
a long forgotten feelin'
if you take a close look and see,
autumn has become a season of intricate beauty to me
the hues of the leaves reflecting the blush on my cheeks
but the falling autumn leaves, autumn leaves

i know you don’t feel the same, that much is obvious
the whispering winds tell me you’re oblivious
am i a fool for preserving the falling leaves?
even though seasons fade, thank you for our memories

but this time, the chill is thrilling
a long forgotten feelin'
if you take a close look and see,
autumn has become a season of intricate beauty to me
the hues of the leaves reflecting the blush on my cheeks
but the falling autumn leaves, autumn leaves

as i stare into the river, sitting on a fallen tree
the water suddenly hits me, like an epiphany
you're not just autumn, you're all of the seasons
so i'll keep appreciating you as you are, do i need a reason?
as long as we both see each other for who we are,
nothing can hold us back, not even our battle scars

but this time, the chill is thrilling
a long forgotten feelin'
if you take a close look and see,
autumn has become a season of intricate beauty to me
the hues of the leaves reflecting the blush on my cheeks
but the falling autumn leaves, autumn leaves

(autumn leaves
yeah, autumn leaves
in my scrapbook of memories)
this poem/song took me almost a month to complete, but i think i'm satisfied with it now ;v;

please do not share any of my works without my permission!
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