Tonight, I realized
That I don't deserve you,
And you don't deserve me either.

You look for pleasure,
I look for love.

You love yourself,
But I love you

Enough for me to get hurt,
Enough for you to not see
The depths of the feelings
I still had and will always have
For you.

As i seat here,
With my morning coffee and breakfast,
Cramming to review to the subject I hate,
Doing things I don't actually like,
Accepting challenges that I have
No choice to reject.

Surviving with no purpose in mind,
Feeling empty inside
And couldn't escape from here.

I feel the whole world controlling me.

I asked myself,
        What have I become?
          What happened to the life I was supposed to live?

How long will i say
That i can survive
When I'm too tired
To try.

You made a reason to make me stay,
I asked you if you love me and you said yes.
I never knew that,
It was just an illusion,
And made me your second option.
Until you utter those words
That you can't commit.
i know it's just a lie
To make me go
And make her stay.

At some point
And in another perspective,

I missed him

I still misses him,
Even though i know that he's not worth it,

My heart still misses him.

But my brain's telling me what to do,
This time
I'm going to follow it.

You picked me up again,
Let me fall,
But you'll never break me
Like you used to before.

and so here i am,
staring at the blue horizon,
looking down the earth.
the clouds looks so still and soft,
the sky looks so peaceful and warm,
the earth seemed so quiet
from up here
and i wanted to stay here,
from all the chaos down there
i'd rather stay here.