I have tried too many times
reaching out my hand with no kind returns
pulling back my hand to find
just broken fingers, scars, and burns

I kiss now and it's never anything.
Sure the motions are made and mostly done well.
But what I find is nothing there.
Unremarkable and unnoticeable
like bumping into someone on the street.
Just something that happens.
Certainly not the fire I felt living behind your smile.
Then again we never really kissed with just our lips.
People tell me this gets better.
You forget what you felt when your eyes met.
You forget how for a little while reality was good.  
You forget a whole life, a whole world.
You just move on.
That's what they say.
But how can that be true at all
if I can still see your face in the sunset?
I can still taste you in summer.
I hear you in every single song.
Can't decide if I was broken first or after.
Life was just better sleeping next to you.
Your the only thing I feel and it burns.
Some days I think I might walk straight into that fire.
But they say that you should never give up.
They say there is always hope.
Things will work out and I will see.
What are the chances of being wrong twice, right?

standing amongst others
 in a crowded room
why now do I feel most gloom?

I stand alone in rooms full of cheer
listen closely
for the silent cries
noone can hear

Maybe we all have hearts of stone
hiding our scars and broken bones
battered and beaten,
torn to shreds
often dreaming of being dead.

Too scared to voice my thoughts aloud
im forced to hide it amongst the crowd
I drift amongst them 
an unguided drone
seeking to find a safer zone
for here I feel
so very alone

Pictures of dead people I know
are smiling and are so full of life
hanging on my wall
reminding me
to seize this day,
because it's not cliche,
and it won't come again.