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L B Aug 2018
He was large as frogs go
Fist-sized happy rotund dweller
of backyard pond
Garter snake large, too large
with his ominous yellow stripes
and jaws to take
a larger than average mouthful
Choked by abdomen's girth
Legs drooling from his glut
Before the victim's even hit his gut's
digestive juices

Kid with hockey stick makes him puck
for his sin
Frog makes  desperate
slim swim for rocks
Where he lies in recovery
from shock and
teeth marks on his belly
Underdog gets defense from phone call-- Eve
150 miles away
intercedes
Frog gets mercy of a transport
to another backwoods pond--
to find his life
forgetting trauma
Suns himself and swims
Eats the bugs
and ***** the froglettes
of another day
My daughter desperate on the phone-- she and her stepson have just been witness to this scene.  Now what!  Now what!  Call mommy! Quick!
I give the household, "hunter man" the job and duty of relocation.  He objects, "But it's the way of nature!"
"Not on my watch, good man!
Not on my watch!"
The underdog gets the hand.
Kelsey Ann May 23
they tell us
silence is golden.

sadly it
fell on our Deaf ears.
I have a B.A. in Deaf Studies and am pursuing my teaching credential for American Sign Language. I've been signing for eight years.
Maddy Oct 11
Plain Jane
Burned into her soul
Echoes into the night decades later
She would always be defined that way
No matter what or when
Trappings are more important than heart
And so it goes
In her eyes she will always be the Underdog
Even though he saw her beauty and cherishes it
It does not come in a bottle or in a magazine page

[email protected]
"One lie weakens a thousand truths."

"Time heals, steals and reveals."

"Karma finishes what revenge neglects."

"The future is uncertain, but we play a part in its design."

"Help when you can, pray when you can't."

"If your life is out of focus, it's time to change the lens."

"Honesty is in the alcohol."

"The only thing better than a second chance is never needing one."

"Sometimes the most valuable company is yourself."

"Instincts over impulse, always."

"The greatest comeback is the one least expected."

"Fear is a light sleeper."

"You can't change the past, but it can change you."

"Some are born with a silver spoon, others with a pitchfork."

"Even the smallest of pebbles has its place in the sand."

"The humble voice resonates the loudest."

"Write your failures in pencil, your triumphs in ink."

"Scars speak every language."

"Two things you should always trust: your gut and your God."

"Every tear leaves something behind."

"Courage brings you to the fight, wisdom wins it."

"Relationships start and end, but the lucky ones get to begin again."

"The devil doubts. The angel accepts."

"Biggie makes you dance. Tupac makes you think."

"Justice is money green."

"The only thing better than good friends are lifelong ones."

"I'm in a fight with life and I'm losing on points."

"We are remembered for three things: the times we did good, the times we did bad and the times we did nothing."

"Every underdog wants to be top cat."

"Love never travels alone."

"Dreams reveal what thoughts conceal."

"The problem with the world is the wolves outnumber the sheep."

"You can't spell tragedy without rage."

"Focus on the valley and the hills will disappear."

"When you ignore pain, it ignores you."

"The past and future are distant cousins."

"Hope is always listening."

"Moonlight is for lovers and devils."

"Nothing will get you in better shape than a breakup."

"Time is a tattletale."

"Sometimes all that's left is a penny and a wish."

"There's a special place in heaven for those who suffer on earth."

"We are connected by smiles and tears."

"The mirror mimics what the mind imagines."

"If infidelity was a crime they would have to build more prisons."

"What the blind man sees, the sighted man seeks."

"The ego is a phony friend."

"Luck will take you as far as fate allows."

"Two things that never forget: elephants and broken hearts."

"My train of thought has no conductor."
Traveler Dec 2015
Underdog was cold and tired
When he took his first red pill
Hidden within his ring
On his K-9 finger
It was quite the mighty thrill

******-Doo and Shaggy too
What's in those ****** Snacks
Up against the perils of evil
Yet the snack still brings you back

Mighty Mouse and his magic powder
He snorted magic up his nose
When I was just a little kid
So many years ago...
Traveler Tim
Christmas present? Ham. Mom's gift - no spiral
Just sliced it, diced it, multiply, divide - nothing left by the wayside
Bone broth made
Compound interest
Cut it up three... maybe 4 ways
Skyline chili and a...
Splash!  head above...
Relax dad, I can swim, I'm still YOUR daughter
Your wife, though, she said...
Forget what she said
People talk. Hush, shh! It's true  - she's wild
Mild and indifferent
when the meek inherits the Earth
but as long as evil spawns from birth
bound are not my wrists with worry or fear
every time someone whispers my name in another's ear
Blood on my tongue before I sob
Self reliant, I found another job
Over
time
always
No Sleep Quality In(n) daylight hours
Florescent lights
8 to 8
No time to sit around and...
Wait!
Where's my soup?!
That's all I have
One hundred and eighty food stamps
One hundred and eighty blessings each month
But not enough for you to take my lunch.
Part of a spoken word representing a dream, hard work w/ little reprieve.  Willingness to stand up to whosoever tells you "you can't do it" and those who think they can profit off of the young, vulnerable or those without social support.
All words are true.
I can see a pod of whales
Off into the Oahu horizon
Where the sea touches the sky
Where on this day nature takes it's course
There's a calmness in the palms
Up above the Koolau Mountains
Rising to it's feet
Below the stretches of white sand beaches
Bowing it's head
Clouds shedding a tear
A rainbow hugging the sky
One last time
Kisses and love abound
Many moons ago life was good
For the Chapman's
A successful show, partnership,
Branches on the tree
His, hers, humanity and mankind
Especially the underdog
Today Beth passed away
A turning leaf, still green
And in the summer of her life
I can phantom those pod of whales, forever
Out in the horizon
Where my teary eyes can't see
And where my heart wants to be
Her husband, Dwayne, and family taking Beth home

Logan Robertson

6/26/2019
I was sadden to hear of Beth's passing. She was special in how she touched me- a little rough around the edges but with a big heart. She will be missed.
Classy J Nov 2016
Diving into bath salts, raving flue that is as sicking as math, at least that is what I conclude from my findings presented to the court. Objection, objection, sir I don't see the connection, maybe your rhyme scheme needs perfection. Maybe it does, but ***** it, I'm blessed by God; baby please sit down and take a chill pill and just enjoy this buzz. Busting off, so back off, bout to prove my case like I’m Ace Attorney, oh and I know it’s off topic but if I lived in America, I would’ve voted for Bernie. What the **** am I on? Came to save the digital world you can call me a digimon, you bet I’m a champion! Serendipity dear deputy; I’ll be typically wittingly searching for some tranquility. What is the validity of this vicinity as I only accept notability and won’t let this become a liability!

Pathologically paraplegic hypochondriac with insomniac who be popping poems profusely perfect; while whimsically worm's try to be strategic, but sadly choke and lose it. Miles set apart; it certainly is not a strut in some park, but everyone has to start somewhere before they engrave their mark. Don't reside yourself to just being a silhouette, nor be one to toot your clarinet. Two sides to every person like Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde; be careful to not let your pride turn into carbon monoxide. For pride will always lead to your downfall, so please take off your iron curtain and tear down your Berlin wall. Improvident incongruous incredulous confidence; underwhelming astonishment of such fundaments of these heinous and callous acts of deceitfulness. Trickery of thy decadence; why art though jittery when you are full of benevolence? So used to getting what you want I bet; well this situation can not be fixed by dough, so I see why you are in a cold sweat! Fake confidence won't help you here especially when one lies; you made a mistake and will face the consequences and I am not one quick to forgive no matter how much you apologize.  

Don’t have time to consider your sensibility, because my life is going a twitter with too much hyperactivity for me to deal with your stupidity. Befittingly that I’ll be building up the intensity, to infinity and beyond goes this creativity of this anomaly. Not going to prolong this phenomenon, I’ll be going off like a Molotov over this intercom, yeah you better not ever underestimate this underdog. Lackadaisical are these other rappers; they’re so replaceable and incapable to be educational. Incomprehensible is this loop of hip-hop now a days, why can’t we be inspirational or is it to late because we left morals and substance back in the olden days. Can’t afford to be anchored anymore, I’ve poured in too much time to be just be locked behind some door. I refuse to be ignored and be left ashore; I am not worried about going into the storm; because you are bound to come across some things that need some work like chores. Spinning the wheel, reminiscing of how it felt when I no longer concealed who I was and my self-image had been healed.

Used to be reclusive & convinced myself that I was a duffass, but now I’m exclusive to being a smart ***. This is the new era, this is a new fire; it’s time to spice things up so better pull out the sriracha. Leading the revolution like I’m Che Guevara, I’m light as feather whatever the endeavor even if my life story doesn’t end up as pristine as Cinderella’s. Why so infatuated by worldly wants? Why so decorated when you can't hide the fact that you're the same basic *** font? Trying be something else, striving to be someone else, wanting to be anything else. You are who you are, if you think it will make things better you cucu, because in my eyes you are really a star. You have to expand your interpretation and perspective of life, you have to demand without hesitation a piece of that collective pie; because I believe everyone should be equal in this life.

Calculated bullets that go straight through my cranium; manufactured outlets that show great things but have also turned us into brainless aliens. Complicated hookups that grow irritating and become as unstable as uranium; what was once sacred has become as spontaneous as going to a gymnasium. Confiscated trinkets cast away and leaves those affected very irritate; while also simultaneously making apathetic souls that have gone through the same thing be able to understand, help or relate. Cultivated rebellious culprits that don't take the memo of being cooperative, instead they choose to be provocative and opposite of the other conglomerates. I’m so fascinated by this fabricated segregated supposedly liberated and sophisticated community; where-as some so foolishly stupidly amusingly think that everyone has the same equal chance at opportunity. Moderated, regulated and orchestrated where some are situated; if you don’t think that it has something to do with be affiliated to a certain demographic then maybe you never got educated in the affairs of those discriminated. It’s a good thing then that class is in session; so viewer or listener  please use discretion when taking time to witness or hear my position. Deafening out all ill whims; wrestling with these unsettling menacing fears and guilt from all of my sins.

Yeah no need for hallucinogens, all I need is two hydrogens and one oxygen. Rocking in my moccasins; so you can bet I am not one to drop my promises. Native honour who is also a innovative scholar and who was created not to falter. I may not be good with numbers, but I'm good at making sure you never slumber on my words; because I work on them day and night in my 36 chambers. Beware the pretender, they are manufactured by the vendors to keep us from being together. Defend your heart; be wise who you befriend and who you pick for your counterpart. There will be hurt and affection can be perverted, so know your worth and never ever let yourself be distorted. It is not your fault, it is not my fault, so then who is at fault? Is it just life in general? Is it because of the being who lives eternal? Is it all of the above? I don't know, but we shouldn't judge and instead choose to accept and love!

Pardon me Martin, but if this class were a prison I’d be the warden. I make the rules here and I took the tools given to me to get me here. So listen, please listen to my lesson that I have to present to you as class is still in session. Loading yawl with ammunition to be able to transition to be able to complete your goals or missions. No I’m not tripping, I’m driven  by a higher force to break away the old ways of thinking such as division. This is not the prohibition anymore, so please open your minds and join me on this expedition. Going into the unknown, so here’s to hoping you get through this, as time goes on and be able to look back at it we may feel like this was no more than a tiny but important milestone.  Achieve, believe, conceive, receive, intrigue, and succeed because I think you are unique. You are the only you in the whole galaxy, don’t let agony turn into tragedy; ***** anxiety; yeah and never let your dreams just be some fantasy.

Outro: Sit down class ain't over yet, forfeit those frowns or fake faint or try to jet. Lastly remember what transpired today; don't go hastily and forget about it on December break okay? For though class may be over, more days or years to come until its finally over. Though education ends, one never stops learning even on vacations with family or friends.  I hope you can look back with fondness, I hope you can stay on track in the future if you truly take the time to just focus. Is there truly an end or is this just the beginning to a new bend.
Lawrence Hall Mar 16
As culled from an arts magazine, 13 March 2019

Socialist Realism - The official doctrine in Soviet art and literature after 1932 that evolved from the traditional commitment to social and civic concerns into an all-pervasive general ideological mandate.

            -Yevgeny Yevtushenko, 20th Century Russian Poetry


collective exhibition space vibe community
interactive narrative brown neighborhood
defined commodified Indigenous
identity tone-deaf decolonial
narratives populist intertwined
exhibition curatorial vision
culture local artists arts district small galleries
DIY spaces speaking out against
gentrification displacing shelter
studio space elsewhere late stage capitalism
collective mantra underdog art savior
corporate entity partnering insensitive
ignorant collective brown people art
contemporary work that may not fit
into establishment art galleries
media advisory venture collaborate
creative community authentic
local statement of expression excitement
creative energy arts district project
many levels collaborate local
creative important creative
community what that collaboration
looks like ongoing local artists going
to be engaged in planning commissioned
project community buy-in consulted members of the creative community Indigenous artists curators museum
directors professors burgeoning landscape
cultural framework critique talk individuals
entities inclusivity open
dialogue opportunities project
conversations collaboration discuss
your projects share our work with you
common ground work together healthy sustainable
accountable decolonization
Your ‘umble scrivener’s site is:
Reactionarydrivel.blogspot.com.
It’s not at all reactionary, tho’ it might be drivel.

Lawrence Hall’s vanity publications are available on amazon.com as Kindle and on bits of dead tree:  The Road to Magdalena, Paleo-Hippies at Work and Play, Lady with a Dead Turtle, Don’t Forget Your Shoes and Grapes, Coffee and a Dead Alligator to Go, and Dispatches from the Colonial Office.
Amanda Jean Jul 2018
I got a lil buzzed a lil ****** but not enough and not in time I’m covered in oceans of emotion I can’t keep up with these tides anymore pulling me out to the brinks in my mind I’ve never been afraid of drowning but it’s the lifeguards putting my head under why did I think I could swim I never should have trusted the ones who taught me should have learned how to breather underwater but I’m no mermaid I’m no better I’m not equipped for this please just let me burn burn burn
I don’t want my turn to win top trophies I never even wanted in the game who told you to put me in I cannot out play you cannot withstand this heat I talk like I like it I don’t mind it I just don’t want to be the center of the roasting *** I’m blocking kicks and getting punched I’m throwing fists they hit the heavens fall back on me liken frozen fury a storm I’ve been living in a game so sick you never make it out alive I try to die don’t choo know the rules I try to die who put you here don’t choo know I’m the underdog that hasn’t won yet
Classy J Feb 2018
Rocking my snap back, blowing up like a bellow back, juggling bars like it were a hacky sack. Life tries it’s best to give me set backs, but I just sit back and get back up for a comeback. Underdog from the underground, not here to blunder around for I want to be glory bound. Bound for glory, can’t keep me downed man for this is my heroes story. Story of my life, story that almost ended with a knife. Had enough of being left astray, for I no longer was going let myself be treated like an ashtray. Going into the fray, going in but this time I promise I won’t lose my way. Weighed my options, weighted the choices, and now they come to flourishing motion. I only listen to my own notions, and I will sacrifice anything to succeed even if I end up like the borthans. Death stares through the stars, but I won’t be taken by no Death Star. Starting ground up, for you gotta do what ever it takes to get to the top. Toppled the haters and the fakers, for my bars are like eating a snickers. Keep yawl satisfied and I’m so grateful that my effort has been gratified. Bonified dignified undenied modified undefined went in applied and rallied from a moral guide to tear apart the diseased hide.  Government conspiracy, government deemed freedom of speech as heresy. And here I see the flaws, and here I came out of the depths with my claws. Clawed for my dream, dream of attaining cream. Escaped the depths of the Demi-gorgan pit, because it’s all about survival of those who are more fit. Fit to be a decency, but because I’m different I’m deemed a discrepancy. So I’m going in like a ghost doing recon call me Tom Clancy, exposing all these ******* fallacies. Falling down an icy *****, and for the longest time we couldn’t open up because we was introduced to dope which was anything but dope. Dopamine filling my being, neurotransmitters firing so fast that I attain this happy feeling. False perceptions to stimulants, false ideals gotta use discretion’s before I end up in a addiction predicament. Moving fast, moving slow, the ride won’t last, so I always gotta have me mo. Self medicate self evaporate self ******* which leads to self hate and broken fate.Too long since I noticed anything but myself, feel like a ***** villain man so should I arrest my self. I just long for rest myself, and maybe it’s time for someone else to assess myself. Maybe it’s time to visit the mental asylum
Isabel Sep 2018
Throwing me aside when you don't need me,
It feels like you're looking for a garbage to use it again.
But you don't know that you're looking for yourself.
You were the garbage, not me.

Using my kindness,
And using my blindness,
You're not going to be my highness.

I'm not an underdog,
You can't pull my leash anytime you want,
Coz I'm a human not a garbage like you.

Leaving me behind when you don't have something to talk to.
I'm not a fool, I know something too.

To obvious to be seen,
Who are you to dictate me the things that I need to do,
You're not even my parent,
You're brave enough,
Shame on you.

I already smell the bad odor coming from you,
Why you didn't throw yourself properly?,
Oh well, just burn yourself already,
No one else needed your existence.

Acting like you were just the only one trying to be nice in front of me,
Don't worry, I also do the same,
As I told you, you don't know who I am.

I can be a demon anytime I want.

Those faces that I wanted to destroy,
Hoping people would do the same thing to you, as you also do it to the others.

Keep doing those kind of things,
Coz your too idiot to know how to stop,
I pity you.
#fakefriends #fake #friends
Someone's got it, the glancing star is at bliss
You stuck around and it showed in your dancing in the petrichor of sudden starved preaching and feeling
Thy say I shorting my way in the life for winners of the immunity pin
The reality showed me peace, the passersby were eerily in the indolent about immolating themselves in burning risqueness
In your treats with cotton candy and the pulses of the pleasure drops
And the rapacious circus rang the bell of the repeated ensemble
Of raucous laughter, everything has to be political when you make bellicose blondes in the visions of curtains in your room
Clowned in the foolish day, the sun still how to reach me in disease
Pretention is the greatest presentable symptom of miscommunication with self was winding up for a start
I fly like bilingual, and prying into the side of the lull of the power of the fool in the tangled feud, I need a girl for loving my laugh
Pleasantly, certainly yours and of course, I used a little too much force and I resigning fighting my way through this crowd
You probably understand that I embued some love for the faltering remorse
Looking for someone lost in a crowd
Poe said you're black as the cat
Crossing the street
This is no regret
Plausible deniability and the billing is so clear, and the reading is so pompous and overrated and the laces of childish shoes
Get the milk from the next door south
I went with the bullish look in the *****
And the rage in her countenance full of misery
The spilled milk meant that it was a news boom
Went in pilfering all the newspapers under a lone streetlamp for movement of moving tears
Your people are suffering, but, still don't know how to preach
You reap the education of the sold out, and the mending ways and weltering of the piped hot iron
The compost was full of iron and gun powder
The seed germinated slightly tasteless on my mind
And the singing windy signs took away the cotton cotyledon in the breeze
The success is for other people leaving you in the worst of your times
For the next vacation, you can have a good life without my memories
Tumbled by boiling blood
The flesh and blood, stuck to the bones to the lord
The feet of the lotus, and the getting in the mud
I live my life with never thinking about the most eloquent book of poems
Although, I live in the belligerent era of poems of resolve and truly jaded and delinquently dusted and kept on reconciliatory idiot's shelf
You're left on the frescoed streets of wandering like a nomad selling the storm its gain and living in his stride and rabble and babbling in the fall of the era
Of a fallen human, and a fan no more, and the grimace of the stoic solidarity rang in his soul
Hell, felt alive
Better to arrive lost
That's freewill
The blows and I still did not die
In life often of honesty, there are some cutting you
And sometime's a place of a tainted phlegmatic nature
Cashing out his oblong church clergy, and the existential philosophy might be breaking down the altruism of Buddhist and Christians in a bar together
Too bad, none of them drink, but, they grew closer over the agreement that alcohol was meaningless
Unless you hadn't observed the entire human race intoxicated by the beauty of the thirteenth-century poetry brought you in this dust of more words
Then have a lack of people to oppose it at the very last, filibustering the argument of the blowing wind in the gestalt of this
Words are barren, as the winds that blow in dusty forests
Likewise, the specs of time fall through these lifeless particles of mankind
Hindering and calling someone an idiot, and the perfidy of all the hellish doubt
The talk went down on the south of the majority bringing forth talk of real changes
And the predeliction of prepossessing promises of probable chaotic causality,  circumstances are for indemnity from the prisoner's dilemma
We will never have that pelican of possible doubt
Petulant about the food all around
Picking up on those signals
As a simple man, I saw the ligature of the sculpted eyes
Of the niggardly picking up the leniency through the signed autograph
Head in the cloud left my limousine, stepped on the gasoline
And the peach diesels are all across the streetlamps customized for the stolid heaven of riding the roads which are meant for a moniker taking the molly out of your ecstatic pockets
Your drugs are under your eyes, and let's not talk about the brunt psychedelia of this crimson red Andalusian theology that makes half our rain in Spain, like the linguistics of pronounced verbs
We are lacking the grammatical error of our ways
And writing in the wrong notebooks
That cause suicide
Studying is like a debt to society
Penury by the following of snipers looking at you with the simple complicit exchange between a warrior and underdog soldier
Is the perfect affair wasn't it, heavy breathing in life as a boy
We cry when we're born, and the laughter comes when the breath is gone
I ain't talking about dying, it's just freeing your passions
The perishing pretentious old presiding rhyme of reasonable doubt, these are the words of fire (pleasant devotion)
While I heed my time and the poetry you wrote for your own lazy humor and nervous curiosity.
That's why they rhyme, and the possibility, for your time is an era
The zeal was everywhere furthermore
For, the present time I like to stick to meters and I'm imprisoned at my loss for words, and the ice of life lit by contrite tridents of doctrines for this life to full of the determined profession of love, and it just becomes indeterminate of how we are really
That's how we usually described literary Zeitgeist, pockets of crumpets falling
In the presence of mind to have ideas better for other poets with a brimming a half-empty cup of tea
With the ponderers had sipped without looking at it, it's good times for the winning ride, what if you don't take one other with you, really?
On the tray, the road had the natural and peace of the streetlights of the modus operandi of the chanting of "Nyum Myo Hum Renge Kyo"
There was some truth in the protest march that woke me up
But, I realized that person's need and spent my religion on the
for righteous life with kindred spirits here in the preferable deposit of penned writing
The darkness on fighting it with darkness in the dingy library of human knowledge in metal brother with ubiquitous knowledge
The hopeful the epiphany is healed by knee-deep kneidel, and the bread we shared with our mothers was the love is to share
Hopeful, the benediction creates some dream, I like the long poems, and I feel for the science that touches
The flow of the person next to you with the same DNA, and manipulates information like you
That keeps me interested, and the verses come from the person inside and precocious teenager in you was a bit of a cry-baby
That likes talking, that's why like haikus as they speak about the Edo-era Japan, you determined people read about the island beyond the land of doubt and the exploration, and the free-flowing verse is linked seamless thought of philosophy
And the 1600s of the Restoration period had some simplicity in lovely complexes
Antediluvian powerful lord in the wide trees in thee hillside, singing the song for the life time
The vital spontaneity has because is in the underweighted children in the valley
A song for the sowing and germinating lackadaisical surmise
The thing that I must ask of you, is how much you like philosophy and life, and you fall to a poem for my fellow writer, how much respect wondering about your coveted convivial feelings I could gather from a pack of sisterhood pacts
Existentially, I am in a place that is metaphorically alive
The life and the religion and the spotlight breaks when a spoken word has shadows of God's metaphorical musical called ballad, poetry is just an essay on song
Don't write it twice, you're sad and done
It's alright, I'm on the darkness on the side of the road
A painting is complete when it has the shadows of God.
Wyatt Sep 2018
All I’ve ever known is kindness
and people step all over it.
I don’t know what to say,
it’s just the way I was raised.
I’m sure in another universe
I’m the person everyone wants,
too bad I can’t see
what that would look like.
It’s always the hardest fights.

I’m just an ugly soul
in an ugly world
but it’s full of pretty people
who take advantage of me.
What can I say?
It’s just the way I was raised.
All I wanna do in this life
is just get by
and keep quiet,
so when you step to me
and expect me to speak up
just know that I can’t.
And I won’t.
I’ll always be that guy
who’s way too nice
for his own good.
This is how I’ll be until I die,
an underdog who never
got thrown a bone.
Clyde Nov 2018
And it breaks
though the silence, the smog
the pain, the screams
Sunshine!
how I have missed you so!
it's warmth
penetrating my brain
as slowly my senses
come back online

...
something is
different
we don't talk anymore
as in
we still do...
...but it's not the same
they say that change is good
but this...I don't agree with
what has changed?
maybe my radars off
or my care-free attitudes'
thrown everyone off
to all payed their dues
and were off on their merry way
whilst I realise
that time for me
like everyone else
still moves forward
my space
does not

I guess I've been alone
too alone
for far too long a time
just me, myself
and I don't like it
this impenetrable coccon of my own making
which till now none have claimed for the taking
protection with a Durex garantee
locking me in when I want to break free
...but I'm locked in without a key!

I guess that's how things are now
forces that change
beyond the safety
of my control
and at the same time
I'm still not use
to this new form
I'm still too weak to fight
again, what fight?
I can barely hold on what
ground I can stand on
knees are still weak
and my back is still broken
mind is still split
between what's real
and what may have never been
tortured by what was daily
still makes me cry daily
with a future
that I've now accepted has been robbed from me

So I stay alone,
safe and sound
behind walls
friends and enemies cannot see through
its *****, it's boring
nothing is ever exciting
life hits a low-low
where nothing happens
because this chapter is
once again
flaccid

...maybe I should be more like you
surrounded by so many friends that I have too little time to keep up with?
or you
juggling too many jobs at once with no time to rest?
or you
shoving your reputation and achievements down others throats so the forces bow down to your might?
or you
concerned about the next post that will make it big cause the only source of happiness in your life?
or you
hard headed, wanting to conquer the world on their own?
or you
the one others look up to as the source of guidence?

No
**** no
if that is the road I must choose
when all else ia used
I demand the universe
returns me to stardust!

I'd rather be
the underdog, who thrives over the leftovers
the ***** who has secrets and stories to tell
the sailor who has looked mother nature in the eye
the artist who struggles to find his muse
I'd rather have Satan slow-cook my testicles over a fire
than reduce myself,
to be grinded down to a dull point,
then be in any way like you

I am better then you
**** it, I said it
though I never needed to
it's just a simple affermation
but I guess
after all this
I have an ego too
it points me in the direction
I want
and it's not driven by what
You expect from Me
and I will chace it
yes, I fucken will
by any and whatever means necessary
because at the end of the day
no one really cares
or looks out for me
like Me
Alexys Marie May 29
the world weighs heavy on my back
so i try to carry it in my palms  
i take one unbalanced step then fall on both hands and knees
searching for answers in the sky, i plea
for the strength of a God whom i don’t believe

the simple truth is
i just want to be
brave
the girl who saves the day
but maybe
i’m just not that heroic

— The End —