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"sideward" poems
man who wears a hat sits still near the back unmoved by the world or the exposed breast of a statue (brain waves do not discharge through a fedora) tag attached: bald is sanitary oranges have more delicacy raw smelly and afterward singing allons enfants de patrie ding dang **** like that, all frog-ese so we don’t understand chanteused stiff basso profundo to excite to let us see with the clarity of a dream curled with hate set firm, firmer in the arms of a sleeveless girl then slung to sea level white as a leopard’s eye remember its peroxide bathed, bleached inclined on the pillow just at the angle of expectancy without a hat sideward glance and the crippled heels of angels sparking down the hall bulletin: young man willing to wear false beard to ease the pain for all or trumpet blues broken played horizontal touched by seaweed hands in the light of boats (unfurled) slowly and the memory dies slowly half-forgotten, half-remembered halved again slowly only to begin again grim molecules of love
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man in the hat
i miss the "talking stage" i miss having butterflies from seeing you across the room i miss the sideward glances i miss blushing from feeling your eyes on me i miss the flirting i miss trying to get you to like me i miss losing sleep just so i could talk to you i miss being able to say goodnight i miss falling in love but the talking stage turned into dating and i finally had all that i never knew i would but for you the butterflies began to die, you wouldn't glance at me anymore, you stopped flirting, you went to bed without sayin goodnight, you stopped falling in love and now my butterflies have turned into snakes that eat me from the inside out you don't look at me at all any more you stopped smiling at me altogether i don't blush im still losing sleep but not so i can talk to you but because you haven't said goodnight no, you said goodbye, you said goodbye a long time ago and you haven't said hello since. goodnight, sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite, i love you.
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Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015 at 3:06 AM UTC
goodnight
Retro Morn: Re-Reading Jenny (1.) and Her Purple Hat, (2.), Listening to Vonda Shepard I am a beautiful woman, and reliably informed so, by handsome. men, lustful fools, and one too many sideward glances in a difference place, musical needs call me out to retro smooth me away from the waves of nausea of news repeats ingested, the lesser qualities of human beings basic basest nature, I inhale subdued Jenny’s defiance of life’s expectations and Vonda’s voice smooth my discordant emotive candles that won’t stay lit, add in a touch of melting Joni & Divine Ms. Bette, gets me slow kickstarting and I have not reached the lofty plateau of twenty five years of age *but my mom, the  Queen Regent, reminds me royalty possesses very old souls, which Is why I’m caught out listening, dancing awake to the music of her youth* and hear her discreetly humming the tunes, even though the phone connection broken minutes earlier she signed off with a practised Elizabethan airy disturbance royal wave of her hand, instructing this raining (no, not reigning) Queen to  “darling go write a poem…” don’t we all listen to our mothers?* my name is brandychanning music inhale subdued kickstarting a poem
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Dec 13, 2023
Dec 13, 2023 at 12:35 PM UTC
Retro Morn: Re-Reading Jenny and Her Purple Hat, Listening to Vonda Shepard
When I sit among the oaken seats surrounded by Your endless faithful, the angelic choir in my ear, incense cleansing my soul of woe, I am there. I am there beneath Your golden altar presiding, steadfast; I am there. I am there feeling that same spirit that has endured for millennia and imbued the souls of our greatest writers, our greatest poets, our most beautiful songs, our most saintly people, and our drive for charity which no force of evil in the world can ever, ever undo. I sit there in awe, astonishment and fear, as Your humble and quaking servant raises Your True Body and Blood to the heavens; You are among us! Not riding in a chariot of gold nor bearing an ivory crown, nor in flaming glory nor terrible thunder, but amongst the sick of heart, the poor of soul, the vain of face and the dreadful of mind. It is then when I hear those chanted words from the mouth of Your servant, whatever tongue of men they be uttered in, that I come to fully understand Your unchanging core: "Through Him and with Him and in Him, O God, almighty Father, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, all glory and honour is Yours, forever and ever. Amen." The goosebumps upon my skin, the shiver down my spine, the sideward glance to your tearful faithful; my own eyes brimming amidst such wonder.
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Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 7:47 PM UTC
The Holy Mass
Some kind of craftsman is working at his bench Peeling ribbons of soft wood under a dim lamp He watches the growing pile of discarded strips. The timecard is now an electronic monitor An old woman at the factory wishes That it were instead a thick piece of yellowing cardstock So that she could use a hole punch. Somebody’s daughter is dancing naked in the yard A business man drives by and hopes that somebody will photograph her. He is remembering the blush on his lover’s face When he first saw the photo of her and her sisters Flat chested, unclothed, and splashing together in the bath. The waitress from town has left for school. Somebody there is brushing the hair away from her eyes And wondering whether or not it is a good moment to kiss her. Meanwhile there is a young man sitting in his regular spot in her diner Wondering if her eyes really were the color of the winter grass He is contemplating joining the army. A wiry beggar is sitting outside of a convenience store He asks for a cigarette and gets not even a sideward glance Later he asks a thin, young thing for a few dollars Once she is gone he goes inside to buy a pack And smokes them immediately. There is a funeral processional going through town. There is a woman at the end driving with clenched hands She feels guilty because of her anger But the traffic is making her late for work. You may now kiss the bride. And he does. The older women are crying. Without any of these things It seems we would be left with nothing, but an insatiable thirst for punctuation.
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Apr 7, 2012
Apr 7, 2012 at 2:31 PM UTC
An insatiable thirst for punctuation
Some kind of craftsman is working at his bench Peeling ribbons of soft wood under a dim lamp He watches the growing pile of discarded strips. The timecard is now an electronic monitor An old woman at the factory wishes That it were instead a thick piece of yellowing cardstock So that she could use a hole punch. Somebody’s daughter is dancing naked in the yard A business man drives by and hopes that somebody will photograph her. He is remembering the blush on his lover’s face When he first saw the photo of her and her sisters Flat chested, unclothed, and splashing together in the bath. The waitress from town has left for school. Somebody there is brushing the hair away from her eyes And wondering whether or not it is a good moment to kiss her. Meanwhile there is a young man sitting in his regular spot in her diner Wondering if her eyes really were the color of the winter grass He is contemplating joining the army. A wiry beggar is sitting outside of a convenience store He asks for a cigarette and gets not even a sideward glance Later he asks a thin, young thing for a few dollars Once she is gone he goes inside to buy a pack And smokes them immediately. There is a funeral processional going through town. There is a woman at the end driving with clenched hands She feels guilty because of her anger But the traffic is making her late for work. You may now kiss the bride. And he does. The older women are crying. Without any of these things It seems we would be left with nothing, but an insatiable thirst for punctuation.
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33
She hums a few nursery rhymes Tiny tender  stomps Swinging forward, swaying sideward In her womb randomly, gracefully. Little feet listen as her heart Drum rolls the beat. In tranquil nights, sudden kicks Danced her to sleep.
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Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 1:45 AM UTC
The Dance
She was almost tempted To jump from the bridge Despite the crowds that Passed, despite the coldness And filth of the water below, But she didn’t; she walked On and slit her wrists in the Hospital corridor instead; In some dark place no one Noticed until the blood Followed her footsteps Like a worrying child. Two men stopped her And took her to nurses Busy at some sideward Desk; found her in the Corridor, they said, blood Everywhere, doesn’t answer, Though, we’ve tried that, Won’t say a dickybird, Maybe she’s dumb or deaf, One man suggested, standing Back as if to see her better, Watched the young girl as If for the first time, taking In the blood soaked jeans, Tee shirt, hands and arms And turned away, nodding To his companion, with a One of those druggy types, No doubt, suggestion in the Slow movement of his head. Then she was gone, taken by The nurses behind curtains, Low voices, murmurs; their Interest slipping away, the Men moved on, chatting How Cardiff would do in The next match, and don’t Tell the wife about the girl, She’ll get the wrong idea, Then there’ll be hell To pay, one said, walking Through the doors into The afternoon sunshine. She was almost tempted Speak, to say how the devil Tempted her to jump, how The voices told her what to Do, but she said nothing, Just watched the nurses Dab at her slit wounds with Wads of bandages and frantic Touches of their hands, while Up on the ceiling, she noticed A fly buzzing around the naked Bulb, looking for a way out From death; just like me, She thought, just like ****** me.
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Mar 15, 2013
Mar 15, 2013 at 2:31 PM UTC
ALMOST TEMPTED.
She was almost tempted To jump from the bridge Despite the crowds that Passed, despite the coldness And filth of the water below, But she didn’t; she walked On and slit her wrists in the Hospital corridor instead; In some dark place no one Noticed until the blood Followed her footsteps Like a worrying child. Two men stopped her And took her to nurses Busy at some sideward Desk; found her in the Corridor, they said, blood Everywhere, doesn’t answer, Though, we’ve tried that, Won’t say a dickybird, Maybe she’s dumb or deaf, One man suggested, standing Back as if to see her better, Watched the young girl as If for the first time, taking In the blood soaked jeans, Tee shirt, hands and arms And turned away, nodding To his companion, with a One of those druggy types, No doubt, suggestion in the Slow movement of his head. Then she was gone, taken by The nurses behind curtains, Low voices, murmurs; their Interest slipping away, the Men moved on, chatting How Cardiff would do in The next match, and don’t Tell the wife about the girl, She’ll get the wrong idea, Then there’ll be hell To pay, one said, walking Through the doors into The afternoon sunshine. She was almost tempted Speak, to say how the devil Tempted her to jump, how The voices told her what to Do, but she said nothing, Just watched the nurses Dab at her slit wounds with Wads of bandages and frantic Touches of their hands, while Up on the ceiling, she noticed A fly buzzing around the naked Bulb, looking for a way out From death; just like me, She thought, just like ****** me.
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59
After history with Mr Finn about Saxons or Vikings or some such thing you walked home from school with Helen along St George’s Road the afternoon traffic hustling and bustling by and Helen said that Cogan boy pulled my plaits and called me four eyes and said I looked like a pug I think you look pretty you said do I? she said yes you replied and don’t mind about Cogan you said tapping your jacket pocket (where you kept your six-shooter cap gun) he said he’d smash my face but he never does he’s all mouth and short pants you said Helen put her arm under yours and squeezed it nice of you to say I’m pretty she said no one’s said that before and she looked ahead and you stole a glance sideward on at her her plaits held in place by two rubber bands her thick lens spectacles which made her eyes larger than they were and her small nose beneath the bridge of the wire frame you looked away carrying the image of her away storing it in your mind and she said my mum likes you she said you’re not like the other boys around here o you said thinking of her mother large as life pushing the big pram squeezed into the huge coat nice of your mum to say you said she pulled your arm closer to her her dark blue raincoat against your black jacket you sensed the six-shooter against your ribs thinking of Cogan and firing a cap bang in the back of his head my mum said I can go to the cinema with you on Saturday morning matinee Helen said o good you said not caring what the other boys might say with her along side you in the sixpenny seats you in jeans and open necked shirt and she maybe in that flowered red dress white socks and black battered shoes sensing her arm on yours as you approached the traffic lights at the big junction catching a glimpse of her smile as you both crossed the road when the lights turned green the afternoon sky grey rain seeming near smelling it in the air thinking of Helen and of a snatched kiss but you didn’t think so or didn’t dare.
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Mar 19, 2013
Mar 19, 2013 at 3:05 AM UTC
AFTER HISTORY WITH HELEN.
After history with Mr Finn about Saxons or Vikings or some such thing you walked home from school with Helen along St George’s Road the afternoon traffic hustling and bustling by and Helen said that Cogan boy pulled my plaits and called me four eyes and said I looked like a pug I think you look pretty you said do I? she said yes you replied and don’t mind about Cogan you said tapping your jacket pocket (where you kept your six-shooter cap gun) he said he’d smash my face but he never does he’s all mouth and short pants you said Helen put her arm under yours and squeezed it nice of you to say I’m pretty she said no one’s said that before and she looked ahead and you stole a glance sideward on at her her plaits held in place by two rubber bands her thick lens spectacles which made her eyes larger than they were and her small nose beneath the bridge of the wire frame you looked away carrying the image of her away storing it in your mind and she said my mum likes you she said you’re not like the other boys around here o you said thinking of her mother large as life pushing the big pram squeezed into the huge coat nice of your mum to say you said she pulled your arm closer to her her dark blue raincoat against your black jacket you sensed the six-shooter against your ribs thinking of Cogan and firing a cap bang in the back of his head my mum said I can go to the cinema with you on Saturday morning matinee Helen said o good you said not caring what the other boys might say with her along side you in the sixpenny seats you in jeans and open necked shirt and she maybe in that flowered red dress white socks and black battered shoes sensing her arm on yours as you approached the traffic lights at the big junction catching a glimpse of her smile as you both crossed the road when the lights turned green the afternoon sky grey rain seeming near smelling it in the air thinking of Helen and of a snatched kiss but you didn’t think so or didn’t dare.
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116
daydream dances           sideward glances                     sipping from his mug pensive eyes           muted sighs                     absentminded shrugs heavy drinker           over thinker                     bizarre state of mind across the table           sitting, staring                     wishing he was mine
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Mar 4, 2018
Mar 4, 2018 at 9:38 AM UTC
he
everything is energy moving forward, backward, sideward, warding off the black white finity, crashing upward, downward, frontward this is limitless now let's fly
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Jun 1, 2016
Jun 1, 2016 at 1:16 AM UTC
abyss
each breath was held as each card was laid each look was downward as each hand is played each look is sideward as each sigh is inward *each inhalation is held on exhalation* each card that was placed so strategically built a house, not a home but just as easily your sigh rocked foundations and a groan broke the ground all of a sudden, our house *Fell Down*
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Jun 22, 2014
Jun 22, 2014 at 4:22 AM UTC
House of Cards
possessed injected sublime veins uncontrolled spasm travelling upward sideward downward rocket fuelled ignited star burst.
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May 5, 2017
May 5, 2017 at 2:42 PM UTC
Birthed