Here we are again.
Lying on my side,
You running your nonexistant nails
Down the curves of my bare back.
"I can't tell what you're writing."
"I'm not writing, stupid.
I'm drawing."
And I lay there
Reveling for 10 minutes,
Not at the comfort of being touched,
But because it's your fingertips
Tracing your silly doddles
Across my bare skin.
I'm not sure how we got here.
From crab rangoons and redbull,
To sushi and back scratches;
From best friends to this,
This thing so out of touch
With any sensical title.
I'm too much of a ****
To even begin to act like I notice,
To show that I'm more aware than I seem.
Time for a new distraction.
"Meet Virginia" is on, time to tease you.

I don't get this tough guy act
This facade of strength and invincibility
Put on by guys who work out
They brag and strut, show off their muscles
I think it's a bit pathetic.
Ok cool, you can lift 300 pounds,
Can you discuss poetry and science intelligentlly?
Why act invincible and as though you're more solid
Than a diamond, strong through and through
We both know you're more of a turtle,
Strong shell, and soft center that you pretend is nonexistant
In all honesty, I think guys do it to show up other guys
But I'm more into smart, funny guys
More lean than musclebound
And above all, gentle and kind
Sensitivity is not weakness and chivalry should not die

At my school though, it's dying
Some guy will run me over
And another will let the door swing
A third will simply push on through
The rare friend or stranger who stops and gives way
Who holds the door or makes some space
Is hard to find today, and precious

I'll never get this tough guy act,
Made of agression and violence
Fueled by pure testosterone
And removes all common sense.
So guys, please stop this tough guy act
Not a pretty sight at all
You'll beat each other up
For what all too? A girl? A prize?

these chandeliers were home to roses, now fallen petals on this abandoned courtyard
short handed late traced steps and short lived excitement, we are concentric beings
filled with the same steadfast frame of mind, brick by unnerving bricks tower over
burnt down villages, this love found in fairytales doesn't truly exist in real life
there's a hot wired circuit around my blighted mind, suffering from dementia,
or was the diagnosis faith in this fantasy world i created with vivid metaphors
and words i cannot pronounce, just to get across the fact that i believe in this type
of coping mechanism, that this silence is the most clearest my mind's ever been
at the lowest level of the food chain is where i sit, waiting to be swallowed
and spit out into a world with the core being torrid obsidian matching the
color of the asphalt where i once laid and the color of people's hearts
i've met over the years, serendipity is nonexistant just like chivalry
although i really wish there was such a thing as chivalry in real life

- kra

like a seesaw, there is a nonexistant stable foundation, only yes and no answers
you are a rhetorical question and an untested hypothesis, but this is all wrong
this army wasn't meant to stir in it's wake, and this was a natural homecoming
that could only end in some complex disaster, and my roots were torn from home,
swiftly kidnapped, finding eagerness in the idea of you and the solace you bring
i am acutely aware that you could bend me into whatever you wished, a bow on your tree
something proud that you can show everyone, but i'm scared of being treated less than deserved
like a crumpled up idea on paper that was never meant to be shown with the answer, solution, counterclaim written in permanent black marker, forevermore never changed in my eyes, i merely forgotten about the acid reflex i'd get after i was given a finalized ultimatum, forgotten how to see in color because my brain can only remember you in monochrome, but you're so vivid in my head, there's no way someone like you could be just smoke and mirrors, i've read and folded every page of your autobiography to save for later whenever i needed some peace of mind.

- kra

I've always dreamt of being a hero,
like all sufferers do.
Saving myself and yourself and all of their selves,
and maybe even the villain too.

Shining silver armor and a sword like gold,
a moral compass to never be lead astray.
Living in the name of a cause and the good of all-
Except those at the tip of the blade.

But what of the villain?
Their hopes, their loves, their moral grey.
Cut down at the finish line
by the self-righteous who cannot be stayed.

Your morals are absurd
and your means just as well,
It's not the angels that punish and save,
but those that trod in hell.

What angel knows of love,
or the suffering of a mortal soul?
The ache of a spurned affection
or the terror of growing old?

I didn't fall from heaven,
I happily stepped down.
No god or hero of any land,
could force my heart or hand bound.

My morals are nonexistant
and my armor riddled with dents.
And when they try me as a villain ******,
I'll say none of my misdeeds were well-meant.

The room was packed in a kinda vacant almost like my mind way.
People posting words most spelled right most all  deep with big words which I really didnt understand.
Dam you kindergarden why didnt I pay more attention !

I was deep in some sort of cult meeting.
I belive people in that third world country called Canada people
call it a poetry reading.
You here to share your work sir?

the woman asked in a strange way unlike most women she didnt seem to be armed with anything but thoose dam tassers were getting smaller and smaller everyday but hey it isnt how big your tasser is it's how
you use it right girls?
Im know im not right.

The grand dragon or queen and owner of the cult approached the mic with a lingering want in his eyes
he gripped the mic firmly in his hands and from the way he handled the mic i could tell this was a man who enjoyed holding a mic in his hands hmmm must be playing for the other team like Green Bay Packers.
But enough about the man for who's name I cant mention or i'll be thrown in the princeple's office yet again.
And no man should have to face that *** dungeon by themself or at least without being paid first.


Hello poet's welcome to are open mic night he said in a very manish like Justin Bieber tone.
Oh baby but enough with the forplay children.

One by one the group said there verses covering many subjects most which were about fairy tales
like love and men who put down the seat after taking a **** duh who ever does that!?
And as these hampsters went through there woe's and tales of  lakes and long walks on the beach many had to question on such a deep level.

What the **** was ******* up semi insane ****** with a heart of gold like myself doing the **** here?
Im kidding im not a ****** I never charge.

And now fellow poets id like to welcome a very special guest.
Please give a warm poetry welcome to notorious black sheep of the site
one word can only describe him the man the mith the ******* who's so long winded he'll
put you into a coma Gonzo.


Without wasting time to speak utter nonsense in a utter crap style
Drew how we miss you.
I stood befor the group.

The silence a strange sister indeed many looked and i could tell what they thought
Whos this long winded *******.
Okay that kinda hurt.

I took a nice long breath of air in looked to the cult leader handed him my drink .
And began.

Poetry what can I say about it ?
Why did I ever start writting?
You may belive it was to voice the inner struggels of daily torment to give art to chaos.
Yes indeed.
Ahh **** folks im kidding i just did it to  make chicks think i was deep and its the only sport ive played where being a drunk is just a added plessure

Hey we can express are pain or just party are little drunken arses off
Me I only drink twice a week.
Weekdays and weekends.

Sure I could have come here been serious uptight never cracked a joke or mispelled anything cause i was having a few social bottles of whiskey with a like garnish of acid but what fun would that be?

Look everyone needs to laugh and every class needs clown just like every town its *****.
And every village its mispelling  idiot!
A voice said interupting my epic speech theres always a smart *** somewhere
but hey that was a good one ******.

Mr Gonzo is there any advice you can give us to make this write any longer?
Why yes young little hampster.
Always carry plenty  of cash for the strippers write more about drinking and *******.
And most of all Stay Crazy


Oh yeah and if your parents like your writing  it probaly *****.

And from the hushed voices i could tell i had touched the young minds but not in a weird avoid uncle Charlie and his nonexistant candy bar in the pocket kinda way.

It was more like uhh what the **** is he on and I hope insanity isnt catching cause i was
sitting next to that perve kinda way.

And so like a mad hatter or a kinda weird guy dressed like one at a all you can eat buffet
I was off.
And as I  put the pinto to the wind I herd the   applause
As that person for which we do not name said.
And finally that twisted freak Gonzo has left the building

I was:
a little broken,
a little lost on time,
too much,
and not enough
(But I'd swear "I'm doing fine").

And on every cold night
You held me so tight
my pieces fit together
and you filled the holes
left by storms and bad weather.

Too much is nonexistant
and you love that I'm persistant.
not enough is impossible.
And that's what it means
when you tell me you love me
I'm on top of the world.

I want to say time changes things,
because it's the truth about reality.
But honestly, you're the thing
and you've changed me.
but in a better way than time herself could ever dream.
And now, I'll get to watch change with you for eternity.

Today we're together,
and I'm a little lost on time.
'Cuz I'm in love,
and that's enough.
(I'm doing so much more than fine.)

I am wasted.
This will not rhyme.
Which is not surprising for this blog.

I enjoy this freedom, **** me hard.

Sorry I swear so much.


Just kidding.. **** your feelings.
My poems are nonexistant, and they can sick my swearing, nonexistant di*k
                                           ^ C

And I have a chihuahua who loves me more than anyone could.

Like I said, I am wasted.
Everyone is welcome. ;)

The Tree Nymph chants with grace,
Mesmerizing  men by plenty, soon lost, displaced,
Her voice, charming songs of paradises and victories true;
Sounds like colors, various, like a thousand rainbows hues,
But deceptive songs heard only men whose hearts are empty,
And whose souls are petty, despite they toiled plenty.

For these men who seek women and The Nymph also seeks them:
Evil men full of blackness, foul and dread,
Who foolishly travel to the source of the enchantment,
Only to find themselves slain by this female *******.

No heart broken if nonexistant,
Persistent ignorance formed by constant negligence
Yet before dying comes a sweet caress
For slain are these foolish men, Nature is blessed!

From Her body only one guarantee,
Without sympathy, from the enemy
From her blood pure: Holy Vessels,
But only after a pain; unbearable

Her Body sometimes Tree, Her blood always a Holy Sap
Her wisdom an elixir which none can grasp,
She is wet and her branches grow children who will soon run with the wind
Not from the rain, but from the ***** of men who have heard her sing.

Forever shrouded, mysteriously clouded intent
Dreaming of men who wept, with whom they slept, only to met their death
However it is noted, The Tree Nymph sings true and pure,
For men who are evil, the only cure

A purge for those who sing as they hurt and curse
At Women: The Ocean of eternal birth.

i always fidget with my itches
then itch raw with each digit
of the rigid way we squirm with
words we feel to be explicit

but rearranged we're indifferent
without the frame we're elicit
no stopping shame that exhibits
the way your brain always listens

even in pain it's persistent
you can't prohibit the accident
of unwitting existence
don't say sorry to the superstitious fiction
stay judicious

just ease your mind with the lyrics
and grind the grass to find distance
don't mind, the path meets resistance
the system we're in's nonexistant
i'll build a fire ladder for each fallacy
and scale every rhythm

just cleaning out all desire
mind going off like a piston
mankind don't need this fine attire
but the dior keeps us christian
not built to feed to designers
only a liar does glisten
yet we find ourselves requiring
our own kind of inquisitions

in addiction and prison
a shiny label don't listen
so without your permission
i'll find my own set of prescriptions

Dear Grandad,

I wish I could take cancer,
and punch it in the face;
And every disease and drug that poisons the body and soul,
I wish I could drag to a grave.
See, those are the things that took you away
For years, when you were out of my life.
But I'm oh so glad that at your last,
you won the battle which was your strife.
Jesus there to pull you to his chest at your final breath,
You made amends with a call to the One on the Mainline.

I loved every moment when I got to see you again,
The time between these reunions nonexistant,
Outshined by the joy of spending precious time
with you.
I'm not God but I wish you were here for another chess session.
I wish you were here so I could steal a bit more wisdom.
I wish I'd had that chance to see you hold my children with love.
You were my last Grandad and I never got to meet the other one.
Now you're both great men who've been spirited away by that sweet angel of death,
Only residing on this earth  in the memories of us,
the one's you left behind for to Heaven you've gone to rest.
If I didn't have a job to do here I'd pray for God to take me next.
Dear grandad I'll miss you,
and you'll continue on in the stories We tell your great grandchildren
generation after to generation, every one of your descendents.
Every story about you teaches forever what is best to bet
on in life. After all you've played both sides.
And yet managed to tell my father no lies.
And managed to raise my mother like you, wise.
Truly you were heaven bound and heaven sent.
Through a fantastic wide round trip
you made it to those golden gates of heaven.
And on that note, dear Grandfather,
This letter, like you, will meet it's end.

So I've got two AP classes I'm studying for for next year, as well as trying to study to skip german 2, so I'm going to be pretty nonexistant this coming summer. Thank god finals are over.

I fear that winter break won't be the only cold front that I face
The holidays will roll around and you will still need more space
I fear that it's not what you say, but what you don't
That is truly telling.

I look at your face. It's not the same
There's a certain kind of love that's missing
What do you do when your one best friend is the one person you can't talk to?
Jesus! All you ever say is, "I'm sorry..." & "Time helps"
And my favorite, "We'll still be great friends, Ashby"

You're such a terrible friend
Your advice is lacking any empathy
And your care is nonexistant.
If we don't have love
And we don't have friendship
What do we have left?
I'm terrified to ask such a question.

I've been doing my part fine
I've been staying in the lines
That go against every fiber of my being
I don't know what to think anymore
Except that you want nothing more
From me.

You don't want us
You don't want we
You just want you...
And me.

I just want answers to questions I've already asked
Shaken off and given little thought
You say you just want what's best
For me
But what I really think
Is that you are a coward.
You're too afraid to be the ******* in this relationship.
But guess what?
You already are.

everyday it's a round about way
to everything that's exactly the same
i haven't slept in days
not including eight hours everynight
thats how it feels at least
what's the point in sleeping
if resting is nonexistant
my body doesn't collapse or deteriorate but
my mind never rejuvanates
it's useless for me to be here if i can't give the situation
the proper attention i deserve to give it
i haven't selpt in days.

My brain is filled with static


I feel like I'm not here

I feel no pain
I feel no pleasure

How can I tell if I exist...


All I can hear is white noise
runningthroughmyhead
softsoftfuzzfuzz

All I can see is blurs of color
greenandwhitesandbrowns
ohmy

All I can smell is nonexistant
airrushesthroughholes
nothinghappens

All I can feel is without reaction
dryhandscoldteeth
don'tcaredon'tcare

All I can taste is tasteless
coatofliquidonmytongue
pleasantunpleasantneutral




Ma­ybe this is what it's like to be. Or not be.

-Shards of heart broken by love

-1 perfection with 1000 deceptions as results

-Silently walking through the sea of animals which we call whelps or people

-Wondering the mysteries behind my remote failures for one succes

-lies,lies,lies searching this petty dammned soul like a cockroach

-sunlight too disgusted to greet this small nobody

-horizontal and vertical spinning like the Never ending zeros

-time stops , and observe this Infinitly little one who is nothing but another one

I am just a broken lover

I dreamt you weren't alive, I didn't mind.
I, I realized you were out of life, out of time,
Of this history from which you have moved on.
Now your ashes in a sacred place, the home you called your peace.
But you know, you're scattered everywhere in my climb.
And maybe this imaginary line will lead me back to you
Is it a circle or does it have four right angles?
Does it remain expanding or can't we cross it?
This universe, are you in it?
Because I wish you were here
And wish I knew where it is that you were
Give me some answers.
Let me know if you're free, unrestricted of a body
This casing it's not built correctly or at least that's what they've got me to believe
Should I be lost without you?
Because everyone's still trying to find a way
And I'm wondering if they're asking their grandmama
Or their papa, or their long lost partner
These same old questions
I wonder if their God understands because mine is nonexistant
He does not listen
Nor does he appear in my dreams
I had a nightmare, and you were there.
You said, don't dream if you don't dream to care
We'll dream anyway, I said, we just have to be forgetful
Because everytime I see you I always remember I love you

Its the world I go to
When all my love is rejected
When everything fails
When my best friends fail to guide me
Out of this dark place Im in
So I just grab a bottle
Drink till the pain is gone
Jumping straight into a drunken wastland

I called each of them six times
Trying to get this off my chest
But each and everyone of them rejected my call
So here I am
Bottle in hand
Trying to find the path
To a drunken wasteland
That I missed for so long

I attempted suicide nine times today
Failed each time
So Ill just drown my pain and sorrows
Till the world itself becomes nonexistant
This drunken wasteland is a peaceful place
Really there are no worries and no more pain
Just people who have ruined lives as well
People who truely understand what Im going through

I just wish when I leave this place
That I could breath
Stick my head in the clouds
And find peace for once
Dont I deserve some kind of heaven
In this **** hell
When everything is the same
I just run and hide in a drunken wasteland

all of these people, these relationships
the people we see on the streets, ground level
we see them in the woods
they aren't real
only at night
and when the shadows creep in to cover their true identities
what they actually think, and feel, and see
thats all you can understand
effort is nonexistant and unnecessary
but still
those false people, they are the ones we try for
we try so hard to impress them with our false traits as well
we try to
be funny for them
be cool for them
be hot for them
be skinny for them
we cry for them
we die for them
we starve for them
but what we don't see, what we will never fully see
is that we
are
them

The sun doesn’t shine
here
the moon is nonexistant
here
insanity takes over the mind
here
you as mightas well be blind
here
in my head
you are here

Hold me
please
I need you
and want you
So why can't you
see that?
My need,
out on a golden platter;
my heart on my sleeve
for the world to take
I'm desperate
but afraid of being
taken advantage of
again.

I'm desperate to feel,
love
But it's hard to do
when the people you reach out to
push you away
So I reach out to love's epitome,
searching for pain,
the easiest to find
in this cruel world
So, as I tremble on the floor,
are you happy?
Have you finally found some sick satisfaction
from my attempts to please you,
all in vain?
Because I'm through.
I am done
serving you
following and clinging to you
like a lost puppy
Your free entertainment
has expired

I know I should be happy,
these tears nonexistant.
But I still suffer from these scars
And I'm not entirely sure I'm happy this way
But I guess
time will tell
Maybe we can try again
some other time.
But I am fragile
So until you,
this brain and body that contains my soul,
Until you realize
that I have been hurt enough
Until you learn
not to treat me like a
pair of socks
(warm and soft but walked all over),
Until I heal
Until we grow mature,
forgive and forget
I don't know
I just don't know
We may meet again,
a forgotten memory
But,
you're on your own.
Go.
Leave me.
Please...

Stay?

We're just two clouds passing through -
just passing by,
colloquial for but a while -

Firm and fleshy in the moment,
wispy and nonexistant later.

Our cracked and opened shells of a solitary death
co-created
waft up their sweet scent of fertile ground
moist, fresh
smelling faintly of stardust and the impossible -

Our edges that don't exist in this world
shimmer and sparkle
pop and crinkle on foreheads and bellies

shining out of our eyes
is the magic of respect
that blows a strong wind

pushing us away
away
from each other
away
away
from each other
closer
and
closer
and
closer
to ourselves
our own dreams

have changed directions.

(tw: this is really pessimistic and sad.  unfortunately i see the world this way.)

                                 ~~~

soulmates don't exist, they never have and they never will be. our currently overpopulated planet spits random people in our faces and our overcrowded, desperate, feeble minds struggle to claw at them with all the intensity in our nonexistant soul. we cling to people we see ourselves reflected in, but how can we not feel understood when every single human being is exactly the same as we are? the eternal fight to "stand out", to be "unique" acts like the devil's advocate by screaming (in our faces) that we're all identical and obnoxiously ignorant in the face of a cold, uncaring universe.

soulmates don't exist. we are desperate to feel companionship in this messed up place because we are fully aware of how lonely we really are, even if the majority of YOU choose to discard your knowledge and "follow your heart". wake up. we are specs of nothing who, by some chance, float amongst other specs of absolute nothingness. and the worst part is, we feel so entitled to a soul that we swear love and all other feelings do exist, while the person that represents our physical needs laughs and reminds us that in the end we succumb to all that is natural. natural, not like the fabricated romance or the force-imposed darkness that resides in every single one of us. the one we recognize when staring into someone else's mind. the one we choose to ignore, but kills us daily. the one we forget other people have when we project our despair and expectations created by false idols on other people, and foolishly call it love.
soulmates don't exist

He looks into her eyes as though they hold a thousand secrets

his pupils slowly enlarge in hopes of gaining more nonexistant visibility

his mouth slowly falls agape to grasp more oxygen

no words exist to describe such a sight

he looked into her eyes like how I watch a sunset

as a fiery red orb of light slowly sinks beneath the horizon

threads of light linger in the sky

mingling with the rolling clouds

dyeing the heavens first orange

then red

then dark blue

until all that was left of the sunset was a chalky mauve

then that melted away in turn as stygian darkness took over the sky

his eyelids blissfully came back together

his mouth returned to its original state

he looked at her

and suddenly sadness ceased to exist.

You walk by,
        as if I am
        unimportant and
        nonexistant.
You walk by,
        like I never mattered
        like I was never special to you
        like I mean nothing.
You walk by,
        seeming oblivious
        to my tear filled gaze
        full of sorrow.
You walk by,
        like we never happened
        like my whole world was never
        turned upside down.
You walk by,
        and just keep walking.
Just as I turn away,
        you turn back and
        this time you watch
        as I just keep walking.

Sweat was dripping from your nose
Dark red blood was running down your dark arms

Your pale soul screamed
Your pupils nonexistant

Desperation clogged your ears
Canine behavior fueled the hatred

Those rough hands wrapped around my
Tiny bruised throat

I couldn't ******* breathe
And you laughed

Struggling only hendered
My "well-being"

My
Forehead is on fire, dear
Though I have not a fever
My brain is just hot with images of you, dear
And I know not where to start
From your smiley eyes
To your nonexistant lies
You're perfect -
Just for me

And what I wouldn't give, dear
For a chance to belong to
You

me.gs

What do you do when you dream so much but begin to realize that you're dreaming of the past and not the future.
Yes, far I have come, but I still miss the past.
But how can you miss something that's past.
It's never coming back and even the most intelligent mind can fail to grasp that.
Letting it go is a figment of the imagination.
All you want is for that thing that got away to come back to you.
I dream of the day when we encounter one another again, but for now I'll go on pretending like you disgust me, because thats the only to not be so pathetic.

I dream of the day when I've moved on and you're gone from this tired memory.
The day when someone has showed me of my past stupidity and the faith I have now is turned into a physical blessing.
When the glory has come through the pain.
They Christians feel the most pain and I don't doubt that for one second.
We are dreamers and we dream of a world where pain is nonexistant and all of our wildest, impossible yearnings are suddenly so close to our reach.
Yet, we patiently pray to our Heavenly Father waiting in faith in this world of pain for the one thing we want most.
Love.
We can so easily grasp it too.
All we have to do is discover the love of God, yet we so desperately and stupidly grasp onto human beings to bring us this gift.
They will always disappoint and leave of dying of thirst.
We need him and only him.
I wish I would actually believe what I so desperately plead with others to grasp.

But here I am still wanting him.