First date just ended
and quickly after I left
as the headache set in
barely catching my breath
it feeds off my feelings  
I can feel it creeping its way in
A case of the lovebug
Has got me again
Coughing up sweet words
Going faint from the comfort
This is how it always begins
It stole all of my thoughts
And gently erased them
Sweetly crawling around in my brain
Rearranging, rewiring, they all work the same
I was too doped up to realize  
That this case is so serious, my sanity died
And now it’s too late
All I can think about
Is your hand in mine
Your face
Your eyes
****** delusions and lies
And still I’m rather quite hopeless
Desperate, caught in the moment
Helpless to stop it
But why would I want to?

Scatter like roaches
and feel the sun beat down on you like moldy
sidewalk chalk
and cheap plaster.
Seep into the ground as if it were swallowing
time and eating the sea.
Don't look back into the eye of the storm until
it blinks 57 times and winks twice
It is an important concept that would behoove the
stale aura of your nature
And if you die during this so called adventure,
Smirk
And heave whole-heartedly with the last breath
allotted that you just tasted what it was like to
fall in love
and you proudly let it **** you all at once

Blue bird,under spread protective wings
with boundless love, you hatched the giant egg,
grant this wish, make me transcend
like a ripe pumpkin* getting detached from it's stem;
hitch me a dream ride,when it's time
reach me beyond the limits of mind's make believe.

I was once a boy who believed in words dipped in magic
Carefully coated with sugar
From a distance, they shimmered
whispered fog in its wake
surgically dipped into your heart at hummingbird speed
these sweet tender words were easy to swallow
however leaves a burning hole in your chest once it finds shelter in your body.
Even though your lips produced sweet words
I could never get the sour taste out of my mouth
The most you could have done was give me something to wash it down with:
the leftover tears in Samantha Thompson’s eyes
above Wedgefield’s polluted night sky
somewhere in the middle of an empty field inside his pickup truck
between the words I’m and Sorry
the cleanest and most deceitful of them all
I doubted every word.
I never cared much for the empty spaces between the lines of college-ruled paper
They are only meant to be filled with even emptier phrases
If I could, I wouldn’t fill in any spaces in the time we were together
It would only make our story much more incredulous
Adding more would make us less real.
Two hearts in love need no words
but in reality, you did most of the talking
The ***** blanket of faith
is a cocoon of words shared only between you and him.
We, however, were alien to this Earth
We dissolved amongst the shadows of light
produced from lampposts, only to be thrown back into the light
whether or not you wanted to show me who you really were
You always fancied yourself in artificial lighting compared to natural lighting
Fearing the natural light would show the colors you only kept to yourself.
Lovebug ran to each light as quickly as he could
for these lampposts can only cover so much of the unknown
We’ll be together forever
He ran to each one until he was alone
Until he couldn’t find himself
Each shadow that was passed before can be seen, traced
however his new reflection is indiscernible
You can try your hardest to look into dry puddles
only to find something that is not so concrete.
The only words worth believing in are the ones that are burnt slowly afterward
Entre deux coeurs qui s’aiment, nul besoin de paroles.
But no matter how much the lampposts grow taller,
or how the spaces between ruled-paper continue to dance, the word
love will always be the easiest word to swallow
but the hardest to digest once it rots in the thick of your stomach.

Just thought that you should know
That I'm done playing your games.
Done splitting my time with you
with Him.
I'm so tired of all you have to tell me.
Yeah, I'll call you when I get home.
Only for you to never get home.
And I sit here alone.
Wondering what's going on.
If you don't want to be with me,
Just Tell Me.
Of course it will hurt,
But not as much as living the lie
That day to day in my life goes by.
So here's to you lovebug.
In honor of all we've been through.
The good times and the bad.
Cheers to you babyboo.
And as the title goes...

As if in a dream, he passes through that street
his days of youth walked most, bitten by the  lovebug;
a dear face of the past, from an open window of mind, peers,
those  tear filled eyes, still ask "Tell me why, oh! why?"

I hope this ol' train breaks down,
So i can see,
The inside of your mind sweetie,
its opening up, one crack at a time.
One family member closer,
One 4 month closer.
Your mind, will forever be a maze,
and I will forever explore,
each word you spoke,
to much love for one world.
Our loves bleeds onto others.
These conners of your heart,
is just enough room for my findings.
Hold me closer, pin me down.
And never forever longer frown.
You have me, and you have my hands.
Hold them, rub them, ring them left
because you will have been a theft,
of my ever curious mind.
Mrs. CC, Baby Claire, and Lovebug,
the names I never thought I'd hear,
from those nights in a red corvett
To the days we spent
sperate hearts
much to far apart
can make one love,
with many unworthy words,
and to much unwasted time,
and many memories:
Baby i could spend a life time
folding away these late night memories
into my deep rolling brain waves.
My dreams are lucky to be holding you tonight.

They're flying around now
and I'm on 2% so
I need to write this one fast-
Maybe, these lovebugs
are what's spreading this, along with
the quickening of the heart inside
with the warmth
And maybe if I catch enough lovebugs
I won't have to love you anymore.
Or maybe, just maybe,
if you catch a lovebug,
you'll love me, and I can keep loving you,
just like I always have.

My heart may be just, but it keeps on filling.
With love by my side, I'm more than just willing.
But what is love, and even better, it's meaning?
Whatever it is, it shan't see intervening.
For without I am lost; a user with no drug.
Nothing else can compare to the almighty lovebug.

my first kiss was from a best friend to a best friend
i complained that I was fifteen and had never been loved
so she pulled me in and kissed me as a friend
it was nice

next it was a boy in love with someone else they held hands
when we kissed it was just a peck
his lips were warm but he was cold

then came a boy who fell in love too quick
i didnt know his name, all i knew was that it was in the rain
the music was loud there was blood on his shirt
and his tongue was in my mouth

following that came the one who hurt a pretty girl
we met online and testing was hard
i invited him over and we kissed my mouth tasted like mint
i was tipsy and my mom came home
he hid and he left she never found out

later was a boy who was super high
morphine helps to spell his name
he was desperate for kisses and i was desperate for love
he kissed me and later said cool
he didnt remember

most recently a girl who will never love me back
a fake kiss on the forehead but it was the best kiss ive ever had
she petted my hair and i loved it so so much
i was sad and she knew i hid behind my glasses but she saw my tears
it was a walk by in the dark and there were no words
she never dates she just has *** and i want to date her
she calls me little one or lovebug
and all i love is that

It was Friday
I was...feeling lonely
   like a lovebug that lost its pair
   telling my self I was okay!
How did I let myself end up in parked boat
   somewhere in Tampa bay?

It was Saturday
you lifted your arms
  I saw your stretch marks and I thought...
                          Hey!
I can finally take my clothes off in front of someone  
  Will it be okay?

I 've company here
under the weeping willow
the lone lovebug  with two wings
a sterile bunny
a jack-o-lantern dark and haunting
we sit in
unison
in one for all we sing
a woeful song
and forlornly
gaze into
the starless
sky
formally dressed
in shirt and tie
the pumpkin
just sits naked  
staring

it's not like he's not thinking about me,
i never crossed him mind, not even once.

it was straight up running through an avalanche,
letting a self-destruct bomb go off inside me.

my atoms were slowly destructed one by one,
parts of me are taken away by the ghosts.

how does it feel like when the lovebug bit?
i never got butterflies, just tantrums in my head.

it's a desolation,
the thrills you caused are nothing now.

do you ever think about me?

Destined; your eyes are painted out as the map of life; as no night
convinces my tomorrow to look away from the destination you
inspire me to take- your love is a buried treasure, and my words
mark it with an X;- not as the many exes I once treasured in the
promise of a forever after [it was more of a pipe dream]

As it goes on, this art of falling in love; I’m only now getting
a grip of the bigger picture;- it’s larger and larger, swelling up
my eyes, to as always be blinded by love- the lovebug’s bite,
so smitten, but squished by childish designs; us as children
imagining our perfect kind of lives, when we used to play house
Packed away hopes in an imaginary bag; let a night open that
suitcase- to imagine ourselves living together until our ages
are much visible in our own hands

Those firm and beautiful kisses, get ruined over many soft decades;
as the trace of my fingertips, feels like cheap clay on your skin-
My warm regarded touch, fills your cheeks in chill of morning breeze
When you fail to see your reflection, once from the shyness of
your lashes eyes opening;- where you can only hear someone else’s
voice reading through the Song of Songs. Our time together, is all
destined to be gone- so let’s enjoy what we have now, for how
long it comes

Why?

Why do i allow you to treat me like this?
Why do i allow you to pull this **** over and over?
As i tell myself its just me its just me get over it.
Its just me.

Why can't i see through your *******?
Am i blind?
Am i just being naive?
Mean while i keep telling myself its me its me just get over it.
Its just me.

Why can't i tell myself that its not just me?
Why can't i just say thats it.
Its enough.
As i tell myself its you its you.
So you just get over it.
Its you.

Would it make you realize what's before you?
Would it make you wonder what you could do to make it better?
Or am i just being naive?
As i keep telling myself.
Its different.
Its gonna be different this time.

Mean while i keep telling myself.
Its me its me get over it.

Because its me.
Its me allowing you to do this.
Over and over.
Its me that its my voice stay silent.
As i allow only yours to be heard.

Its me for enabling.
Its me for allowing you to say sorry.

Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.

Mean while i just remind myself.
Its me its just me.
-lovebug

Scrolling down only to scroll back up,
life, it seems, is rolling your eyes at the
pasture of dreams but not grazing,
only joining the seams where your gaze
sits light on the sights that you see, the
nights where you've been with those queens
of desires, the lit and the unquenching of fires,
the needs, oh desires, the wires you've walked on
the wanting you've longed for
the songs that they've written,
the times you've been bitten
by the lovebug,,
ah
hugz to you all.