I asked you a question...
Something like,
“Will you marry me and cook for me every day?”
You replied.
“No. I will not cook for you every day.”
With a hell yeah and a smirk on my face
I’ll take that as well

Rapidly beating

your heart against my ear

as Han Solo's son

rammed a lightsaber

through his chest

I could hear



the beat-beat-beat

reverberating through

layers of blanket, cloth, and skin

sitting next to you

on the couch

thumping loudly and steady

without fear



so let's begin



on a star searched journey

where the spaceships hovel

and the robots swivel

in a galaxy not that

far away from reality



it's like swallowing starlight

or slicing through dark trees

heavy with snow

hearing them crack-crack-crack

from a buzzing vibration

of the blue lightsaber at hand

watching the trees crash, then

clash against red



a struggle unsaid



but when I rested my head

against your slight frame

something within me



melted.



(I guess my heart was tamed.)

when i was six years old my whole family went to disney world and being the self-respecting born and bred star wars fans we were, my brother and i cajoled our parents into letting us buy pictures of our little faces photoshopped onto the faces of star wars characters.

my brother? anakin skywalker. and me? aayla secura.
who you probably haven't heard of, even if you're a pretty big fan of the series. to get you up to speed, aayla secura was a jedi knight and a general during the clone wars era in the prequel trilogy, which is all suitably ******* badass, but if i remember right she has roughly five minutes of screen time in the movies and even less in lines. and you probably remember her as that one blue chick.

and if i remember right she was also one of about three or four female options for the pictures. sure, there was padme amidala and princess leia, who are badass ladies in their own rights, but see the thing is that no six year old watches starwars and thinks to themselves, "hmm, i want to be a politician!" you think to yourself, "i want to be a jedi." and the only option that was a girl and a jedi was a background character.

but that's the thing isn't it? being a background character, a love interest, a side-kick is something girls grow used to seeing themselves cast as. sure, we're in the movie, but with half the lines and screen time. never the center of the story. never the hero, just the pretty girl with fluttery eyelashes he saves. too often i found myself having to invent my own characters and stories so that i could feel that i was part of a narrative, too.

and suddenly, more than ten years too late for for six year old me but just in time for a whole new generation of little girls, the person in the center of the poster clutching a blue lightsaber like a beacon of the light side was a girl.

so this halloween as i'm handing out candy i will see myself in every little girl with her hair twisted into three buns and light saber in her hand and the galaxy in her eyes. finally, finally the story is about her.

Oh how I wish I was a Jedi Pirate.
Can you imagine how bad *** that would be?
Dressed in awesome sea faring garb
and carrying a lightsaber and blaster on my side.

I know that jedis stand for justice and peace and siths stand for emotion and power.
I can't pick a side.
So I guess I'll stay in the middle.
I'll sail the cosmic seas
and feel the force within the breeze.
With a bottle of *** in my hand
and force lightning at my command.

God that would be ******* awesome.

The darkness in his eyes
A true reflection of his pain
Led away from the path of light
He truly had no gain

As he walked from his family
Never to return, he mourned
As he looked into his dying father's eyes
Pretended that he didn't see forgiveness

He's truly broken
Inside, just a shell
Just a mad dog without a leash
As he watched as his Father fell

His mask hides his youthful face
Hides it as if it's a mark of disgrace
His lightsaber is as unstable
As his emotions, running wild

Many joke, his heart is a fable
That he's merely a metal figure
Programmed for Snoke's doing
Nothing is secure

He cut off his path to the light
But there
Is still hope
Of redemption

I can’t apologize enough for your situation
Hillary Swank is definitely not one of my favorite actors.
Michael Buble hasn’t met you yet apparently either
River can’t wait for you to get home and neither can I
Does it get tiring reading poems about you?
Can’t help it, but I’ll try my hardest dear
If you were a Jedi, your lightsaber would be green
One O’ Clock isn’t my best time

One year ago exactly, I awoke to the miserable news that my dear friend, Morgan Helman, was dead. I called her voicemail and wept my goodbyes. I punched the wall and screamed until I thought my lungs would crack. I wrote a poem to express the ravaging anguish I was experiencing, and to try and honor her life. I read it as a eulogy at her funeral. In it, I mentioned a time when she had asked me to write a happy poem. Everything I had ever written was a result of sadness or some other tortured emotion. I apologized that what I wrote for her was far from happy. I told her someday I would a write a happy poem, though I doubted my own words. One year later, I have walked away from the depressed mental state I used to call home. On the anniversary of her passing, I completed this "happy" poem. It's different than what I'm used to creating. It might not be as artistic as some of my other poetry. But it is a vivid expression of the first step in a new direction. This poem is dedicated to Morgan Helman and the legacy of love she left in her wake.

You Are

Resonating laughter
as the child plays,
hallway smiles
on bad days.

Disney movies
when I'm sick,
lightsaber battles
as a kid.

Rope swings
for make believe Peter-Panning,
backyard sprinklers
spraying the trampoline.

Hot soup
after it snows,
Refreshing popsicles
when the sun glows.

Warm cookies
melting in my mouth,
playing cards
at Grandma's house.

Blazing campfires
engulfed in inspiration,
jam sessions
with passionate musicians.

Barefoot freedom
in the grass and on the beach,
Sandy paradise
sinking beneath my feet.

Captivating books
as it gently rains,
favorite songs
when I'm disarrayed.

Intimate poetry
as my soul sings,
genuine happiness
spilling out of me.

Caring parents
whose admiration lasts,
trustworthy friends
who remove my masks.

Comforting arms
when my friend dies,
calloused hands
pulling tears from drowning eyes.

Raw love
strung on splintered wood,
My God
you are everything good.

~ m.w. ~

Greatest Ever (GOAT)

The greatest ever,
don’t hesitate for the Haters,
I stand here united in love,
while you’re divided as the Equator,

or better yet division equations,
no hesitations I’ve got now don’t care who has later,
baskin in the Florida sun while ballin’ in the fun,
on a beach in Miami with my belly in the sand call me a Gator,
got Florida sun shine in a New York state of One Mind,
in California at Greystone getting more wine from the waiter,
feeling like He-Man at Castle Greyskull getting great skull,
both reckless and tasteful variety the spice of life I like to savor,
and yeah they call me a player but better a player than a hater,
and yeah they call me selfish behind my back then face me and ask for favors,
but I cut through the BS with my lightsaber half Luke Skywalker half Darth Vader,
with no time to waste and no mind to spare so catch me now or see you later,

in the meantime you can find me at the beach,
between just laid and self made plotting revenges and favors,
went from being on the street on my *** with no glass to Best Ever,
fully clothed now with all the bells and whistles from minor league to major,

dressed the nines with my thumb on the button,
and my finger on the trigger,
and I won’t hesitate to detonate,
on any fool that flexes hate because I’m the Greatest Ever,

I’ll spell it out for you,
G.O.A.T.,
and that is the truth,
for real for really,
I’m the GOAT,
setting records and making goals,
so while all the losers are lost in hesitation,
I’m non stop always on the go,

the greatest ever,
don’t hesitate for the Haters,
I stand here united in love,
while you’re divided as the Equator…

∆ LaLux ∆

Well no wonder he kept dying
or the police
would catch up to him
in the first minute after hitting someone
or stealing a car. The game
was for big kids. It said so on the box. He
got bored despite all the things
he could do and put
the controller down.

He looked around the living room
went into the kitchen
She was nowhere

He went upstairs
opened the door to the bedroom
and, well, she was there
sprawled on the bed
naked
filming herself with her phone
while continually stabbing
herself
between the legs with... a lightsaber? It
seemed painful too. She was gasping.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

And her response was a scream
She pulled the
lightsaber thingy out
and threw it under the bed
and turned off the phone. "Hey, what did I tell
you about entering without
knocking?"

"Nothing," he said.

"Well... Just... Just don't tell
anyone about it, okay? And why did you come
upstairs anyway?

"I'm sorry. Look, I keep dying at
the game."

She came downstairs with him
grabbed the controller
unpaused the game
"Watch this."
Circle, Right, Circle, Right, Left, Square, Triangle, Up
She passed the controller to him
"Okay, now go **** somebody."

he crossed the street and punched an
old lady to death
and then stomped on her body

everyone saw that

no police showed up
no yellow stars. Nothing.

"Whaaaaat? I don't believe it."
He wandered into the street, stopped
a car
opened the driver's door
pulled the driver out
beat him to death and stole the
car.

No police

"How did you do it?"

"A boyfriend taught me. Along with
many, many other things. You can
even get a device that lets you fly."

"I don't believe it!"

"Believe it. Infinite health too. I can
do that for you. If, of course..."

"Yes, yes! I'll keep the secret. I swear! And I
swear to God you're
the best, best babysitter I've ever
had. This! This is what I'm gonna
tell dad when
he gets home. I swear!"

"Don't bother. He knows."

I've got three steel pennies on my table and a half dollar in my pocket
I've got a Phantom of the Opera music box on display and a replica lightsaber hidden away
I've got a stack of comic books on my dresser and a few more on the way
These are among my prized possessions
But none compare in value to what I've got for you
I've got my ticket to American Idiot on Broadway and a signed playbill and iPod
I've got signed coppies of Under the Influence by Straight No Chaser and The Warblers CD
But none of these compare in value to what I've got for you
I've got it bad and I've got it in excess
It's overflowing and I'm a mess
What have i got for you
I'll tell you now
I've got nothing but love, Red,
And it's all for you

When the time comes...
I want a large festival named after Mark Twain,
I want the streets to be cloaked in color,
I want peopleto ride in on horseback lightsaber in hand,
I want the wind to be whispering the best puns the world has to offer to the trees,
So that trees can laugh, giggle, snicker, and chortle with fluffy forest friends,
I want music of every kind playing across the living mountains and through the clouds and rain I envy,
I want it to rain so hard that persons of all shapes and sizes are forced to take off their heavy drenched clothes and just dance in their underwear, playing with glow-in-the-dark footballs with Lionel,
I want absolutely no lights,
I want the ugliest girl in the world to appear to be the most beautiful under the sun of the night,
I want everyone to come only by bicycle, skateboard, foot and any other non-mechanical way,
Not for the earth but because i don't like the sound smell of look,
But most of all...
I want to leave a legacy,
Not a huge one, just big enough to live forever...
In the back of one's mind,

I was gone for a long time now,
stuck in a hole.
It was all pitch dark,
seeping unknown evil.
But I crawled back home,
under the flooding smoke.
I destroyed the creatures,
though my lightsaber broke.
Holding tight to it's handle.
In my hand,
the smell of iron,
may last forever.
And the pictures
that led crispy burnt bits to fall here,
were burned in the fire,
of my will,
strength;
desire.
I am not who I was,
but I am fresh.
like new car,
and my brain has been washed.
It's not bad.
It's better.
I'm glad,
and I will never
ever
fall
so deep
again.
I will never
ever
walk away
in the end.

The vomiting and the vertigo and the dream
Probably won't happen again

Now the poems like play
In basketball I wore ten

I wrote a poem about Rey
Did not write of Kylo Ren

She's the One!  hey hey
The Skywalkers fight like Zen.

I owe money to a man named Robert G. Durant.
I want to pay him the money I owe but I can't.
He cuts off the fingers of people who don't pay him money.
You may find it amusing but I sure as hell don't think it's funny.
He cut off all of my fingers, he didn't even spare one.
I couldn't even pick my nose after he was done.
I want to give Durant the bird but I don't have the finger to do it with.
I'd chop his ***** off with a lightsaber if I had fingers and if I was a Sith.
You'd better take my advice because it sure isn't a lie.
Pay Robert Durant or you can kiss your fingers goodbye.

“Valentine for a ghost”


Desperation on the side of the road,  kiss me like it’s two months ago and i want to lay close to you and listen to closing time, but the signs are all closed on our time. My heart hangs with me one more time until tomorrow.  What part of the forest are you pruning today? Let’s lace the lights and let you move on to a new tomorrow. I’m glad you are happy. That means the world to my heart. Hearing from you sent me singing. I count my ways through your X’s and O’s. I’m  just wanting that slow dance to start. My arms are empty and I’ll sing this tune when i see you. I’ll smile you’ll never know my thoughts go to the what if’s of what will never be. I’m dreaming of a dark day. It’s raining in all our skies. I hope you move on to big things for your figure it’s fragile in my thoughts even if i know you can handle any sling or arrow. Let that talk box bleed our songs in counter clock wise i sit on your side because i want to be by your-side. My mirror is shallow almost empty my hair hangs low almost in my face. i wont change anything in hope it won’t change anything. Nye was a new year and it bleeds into my future this year started out brilliant... hopefully I’m not the mind sculptor you thought i was. i miss you, a lady lover and i want to linger in your door way. Be my stranger stay long and dream of me tonight. And hopefully the bubbles bubble up over the brim of our glass. Be the mistress of solitude a singer who speaks of  fortune. Don’t find out I’m not here. And I’m holding on to hope that your feelings could slow. My second life time lover a whisper of 100 Wishes and like that it’s gone. Goodbye Wednesday.
I get the mandela effect about cause it seems like January went on forever in another dimension, like side swiping cars when I’m coming down the street or turning mailbox flags up and walking past waiting for the rain to come. I’m stuck in the beginning of a final fantasy fiction scenario where you told me to never stop smiling for you. I’ll get on that plane and never turn around. I’m on a space ship headed to another planet where you and me didn't exist and I’m a lightsaber cutting through the fan fiction of a rainstorm I’m looking for a season to change to spring but I’ll hide in fall. Where will my story turn the page on our chapter. You were a side character i was hoping for a main role.
So come suffer in silence with me and stand on shoulders of ones who came before i want to arrange your eyes so you can see me again.

You’ll never hurt me again and i know you’ll feel better, but...

It’s ok cause I’ll keep living and leading a life less than fortunate, but the dust has settled and the lights are turned low. They swept up after the ending its time to go. You went your way and I’ll go mine. My heart is huge and i tear off pieces for people like you living in my home outside a dusty town, I’m the crystal ball for your gypsy curse. Don’t forget the time you smiled for a ghost.

This is poem 2300
so what do I have to say?

words are all I have
as I wander along the way

if you see her, send my love
silence is how I pray

the moon fineshines tonight
the morning brings newborn day

they see a double red lightsaber
(but I still have faith in mystic Rey!)

Not very good at in the moment
My mind a million miles away
Often unsatisfied
Californ I A

San Francisco Zen
But only for one hour
Homeless black man dies
Sign says Rest in Power

May the 4th is coming
I like Cristo Rey
Green lightsaber
Eddie Murray. Lee May.

           Triple Play!

I am at such a point of unemployed and undesired,
That I am turned on at the same time as a lightsaber
And I care more for a Skywalker
Than for ***, money or any other transfer
Between one body and another.
In fact,
The only bodies I plan to explore
Are planets far beyond my ragged claws.

The religious emotions are so intense
But they too pass away

Uncommon life, uncommon sense
I wish for better days

My boys in school, thankfully
I do feel the need to praise

So much sorrow, suffering
Shakespeare's tragic plays

      Lightsaber. Rey's!