"Why don't we meet tonight?"
Everything began with it, and I will never seem to be sorry for it. To protect my mother from finding out what I was up to, I brought my book with me and told her I had borrowed it from you. So I suppose that's how we met, and you gave me a gift I'll never forget.
"I'm eager to meet you."
I didn't want to go through the memories by myself; you had to come along, and I wanted to know how you felt at the time, so we went into the present. Despite our problems, we had a great laugh—the best I can remember having that month. We were the happiest people.
"Two shots, come on, let's drink all at once!"
It's awful that an all-male band is playing an Amy Winehouse song while making fun of death. I ate the french fries by myself, despite the fact that I thought the portion was small because you don't like to eat a lot.
"One Time by Justin Bieber is terrible!"
You keep singing that song while you wrap your arms around me. After all, we were young once, so it didn't sound so bad, did it? I couldn't bear hugging you, your car's air conditioner was freezing, and you wondered, "How can I not like you?"
"Let's listen to some Radiohead."
I craved the feel of soft lips that turned wild in a matter of seconds as soon as we moved into the backseat. When I took over, I commanded you to remain silent. I caught sight of your smile, and who knows how long it lasted. Your fingertips brushed across mine as they went down to your neck. It's okay if you didn't enjoy it. Given that we were both wearing the same color apparel, it's impossible to tell which of our belongings is missing. We answered with laughter.
"I'll start by cleaning things up. "Would you please accompany me?"
One, two, three, and so forth. I started snoring nonstop as you began to fumble over your words. We were unable to communicate because, in my opinion, we were both going nuts. This went on for several months. How happy I was; I hope you felt the same way. Even when a rapid green light made us icier, our laughter always managed to break the ice.
"There will be no one entering, so there is no need to lock it."
So I believe it is the ideal place for me to remain silent. I'm still sleeping. And when I lose control, I become the most narcissistic person I know. You found me sobbing there, and everyone blamed you. Despite your best efforts, you are aware of how wounded I was that day. You only wanted to be happy, even though I know you won't want to enjoy a great night without me. I had to be happy as well. But this time was different. And you didn't even save me.
"Happy birthday!"
Everyone appears to be comfortable as they sit on the grass in gorgeous cloth, sipping a fine whiskey in the cool afternoon air. You requested that we return home because your condition had become intolerable. You didn't even want to sit on this grass, but I said yes anyway. I'm not sure what we were talking about, but I suppose it's time to go home. I wasn't sure what I was saying, but you probably got it.
"I'm afraid of change, of everything changing."
Then, with a single glance, you changed everything. I didn't know how you felt, but I suddenly felt terribly alone, which seemed unusual. Was I never there for you when you were by yourself? But you can't hide how you feel when you're with me. We've both witnessed tears. Did you wish to increase your aspirations without incorporating me? Even though you eventually returned to me, I am disappointed that you must seek approval elsewhere. But what the hell does that mean? Did you fully comprehend what needed to be done? Who now has the larger ego? Which do you prefer: you when you're sober or me when I'm drunk?
"What she said about you wasn't true."
I didn't want to argue about it, even though I believe she was correct. I could smell the stench and knew it would pass quickly. I was sick of hearing your beautiful words, so I requested you to stop. Did you really believe I was the only one who could make you want to come home? Have you figured out how I'm going to mess up this house?
You, on the other hand, spoke to me as if I didn't understand and didn't want to understand. You definitely didn't want to hear what I said from the start. Then you made your own decision without alerting me of the repercussions. This made me honestly sad. Just let me know whether you're okay, if you're tired, and if you want to cry alone in your car away from your friends. What is the purpose of all we have created?
On other days, I could still dance alone in my room while sipping soju and listening to a new song by what I thought was the best female pop singer at the time. She was talking about us. I hope you don't mind if I pursue a different road because you did as well. I shouldn't say I have any expectations. But I had an epidemic of memories of you in my head, and I needed to get through it.
"What do you think I'll be like when I'm 35?"
You will feel content.
