Whether this meeting lasts long or not, I am happy to have you back as a visitor in my life. But I don't need to smile to be happy, right? My face looked bland like a bland biscuit. Since this wasn't anything new, I didn't feel too excited—on the contrary, I felt typical. I'm comfortable writing this because I'm sure you understand how I feel and I don't need to lie to anyone. I don't need to ask because I'm fully aware that we're thinking the same thing on this website. However, all I wanted to do was stay still and say nothing. You always manage to get there at the wrong time, so even though it's not too late, it seems like it is.

I know it appears that this will not be a hopeful situation, but you must know me in order to feel, as I do. I'll never be able to put it into words, yet it may seem like I can't stand my ground anymore. You constantly strive to make me happy, and it works! I mean, the two of us sitting in the car, sipping on a can of practically stale beer, made me quite pleased. I have to pretend not to see your message notification in order to control my wild feelings; I am too pleased when I am with you.

All of the "I miss you"s and calls to eat ramen on a chilly Jakarta night will not happen again, I guarantee you. It's all in our minds, and I don't want it anymore. I'm not going to dispute it, but this is a repeating trend. Believe me, everything is planned according to time. And we've ran out of time. I don't think it will stop you from asking each other for affirmation of your sentiments. I have no sentiments left to hide and I will always be honest about how I truly feel about everything. I'm usually easy to find since I don't hide. Still, I'm not into us.

I never thought you would be the one. However, you are a godsend to me. Please realize that I put your needs ahead of my own, even if it appears self-serving. Though it's difficult to understand, you will eventually grasp it. You must comprehend why we are not the people we once were, and why I am not the person I once was. Or have we been this way for a very long time? I don't want you, yet I can never feel the same way about anybody else after you.

Maybe it's still the same as my message from four years ago. Time has already claimed my life.You are welcome to approach me and openly strike and curse me. it's fine by me. These signs are all meaningless. I wanted to bring to your attention the past injuries that you will never fully heal. I hope you will be able to forget me as much as I am eager to forget everything.

There's not going to be another chance, or else I'll deliberately skip it this time. You don't even need to think about "why"; it's not anything to consider. We once loved each other, and even though you will regret it for the next fifty years, I am your old buddy. Have you not noticed why we are never able to achieve our goals? Considering that everything was first but a wish.

You may recall me as the person you once dreamt of, and I may remember you as the person I once dreamed of, even if we only exist in recollections. Your unpublished words will always be a part of me. I wrote a lot about you in the past, whether you realize it or not, but I removed it so that no one can read it. Yes, your presence will be simply another piece of text, exactly like this one. You exist simply for me, not for my work. I concur as well.

If I were to list all you have done for me since you came here, I could not stop writing. You truly get me hot, however. causes me to experience difficult-for-me-to-explain emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, confusion, and emptiness. I sincerely appreciate that you haven't forgotten me, no matter what. I'm not forgetting. But eventually, we must. I sincerely hope you achieve your goals, and it has to have nothing to do with me.

If I can't forget you, I'll remember you as the one who first exposed me to the sense of deep love. It's too powerful for me to wield recklessly, causing me to cry and be silent for a time, concerned about how everything will play out in the future.

Yes, I did not realize at the time how long this connection would last; at that moment, I was simply experiencing love for the first time in my life. Returning to the first point, I will still leave you and you need to be strong because I still care about your well-being. I don't aim to set up a scene out of a movie. You have my attention. I had to send the most agonizing message to make you get drunk since you were too depressed, even on that night when my heart was pounding.

Are you sure now that you know everything? It's not enough for me to pull and break this thread unilaterally; you also need to make an effort to break it. I hope this isn't where we have to stay forever.

"Why don't we meet tonight?"

Everything began with it, and I will never seem to be sorry for it. To protect my mother from finding out what I was up to, I brought my book with me and told her I had borrowed it from you. So I suppose that's how we met, and you gave me a gift I'll never forget.

"I'm eager to meet you."

I didn't want to go through the memories by myself; you had to come along, and I wanted to know how you felt at the time, so we went into the present. Despite our problems, we had a great laugh—the best I can remember having that month. We were the happiest people.

"Two shots, come on, let's drink all at once!"

It's awful that an all-male band is playing an Amy Winehouse song while making fun of death. I ate the french fries by myself, despite the fact that I thought the portion was small because you don't like to eat a lot.

"One Time by Justin Bieber is terrible!"

You keep singing that song while you wrap your arms around me. After all, we were young once, so it didn't sound so bad, did it? I couldn't bear hugging you, your car's air conditioner was freezing, and you wondered, "How can I not like you?"

"Let's listen to some Radiohead."

I craved the feel of soft lips that turned wild in a matter of seconds as soon as we moved into the backseat. When I took over, I commanded you to remain silent. I caught sight of your smile, and who knows how long it lasted. Your fingertips brushed across mine as they went down to your neck. It's okay if you didn't enjoy it. Given that we were both wearing the same color apparel, it's impossible to tell which of our belongings is missing. We answered with laughter.

"I'll start by cleaning things up. "Would you please accompany me?"

One, two, three, and so forth. I started snoring nonstop as you began to fumble over your words. We were unable to communicate because, in my opinion, we were both going nuts. This went on for several months. How happy I was; I hope you felt the same way. Even when a rapid green light made us icier, our laughter always managed to break the ice.

"There will be no one entering, so there is no need to lock it."

So I believe it is the ideal place for me to remain silent. I'm still sleeping. And when I lose control, I become the most narcissistic person I know. You found me sobbing there, and everyone blamed you. Despite your best efforts, you are aware of how wounded I was that day. You only wanted to be happy, even though I know you won't want to enjoy a great night without me. I had to be happy as well. But this time was different. And you didn't even save me.

"Happy birthday!"

Everyone appears to be comfortable as they sit on the grass in gorgeous cloth, sipping a fine whiskey in the cool afternoon air. You requested that we return home because your condition had become intolerable. You didn't even want to sit on this grass, but I said yes anyway. I'm not sure what we were talking about, but I suppose it's time to go home. I wasn't sure what I was saying, but you probably got it.

"I'm afraid of change, of everything changing."

Then, with a single glance, you changed everything. I didn't know how you felt, but I suddenly felt terribly alone, which seemed unusual. Was I never there for you when you were by yourself? But you can't hide how you feel when you're with me. We've both witnessed tears. Did you wish to increase your aspirations without incorporating me? Even though you eventually returned to me, I am disappointed that you must seek approval elsewhere. But what the hell does that mean? Did you fully comprehend what needed to be done? Who now has the larger ego? Which do you prefer: you when you're sober or me when I'm drunk?

"What she said about you wasn't true."

I didn't want to argue about it, even though I believe she was correct. I could smell the stench and knew it would pass quickly. I was sick of hearing your beautiful words, so I requested you to stop. Did you really believe I was the only one who could make you want to come home? Have you figured out how I'm going to mess up this house?

You, on the other hand, spoke to me as if I didn't understand and didn't want to understand. You definitely didn't want to hear what I said from the start. Then you made your own decision without alerting me of the repercussions. This made me honestly sad. Just let me know whether you're okay, if you're tired, and if you want to cry alone in your car away from your friends. What is the purpose of all we have created?

On other days, I could still dance alone in my room while sipping soju and listening to a new song by what I thought was the best female pop singer at the time. She was talking about us. I hope you don't mind if I pursue a different road because you did as well. I shouldn't say I have any expectations. But I had an epidemic of memories of you in my head, and I needed to get through it.

"What do you think I'll be like when I'm 35?"

You will feel content.

I'll shortly pay off my debt
Even if I made you a solemn commitment, please don't be furious at me or ignore me

Because it's likely to happen again, I won't sneer
However, I need your assistance since in the end, everything consumes my flesh until nothing is left
And you won't see me ever again
Would you really?
Do you?
Please don't ask me that because even if I were certain, I would still blaspheme

What will people say about me if I claim to "don't care what people say"? Of course I care, but I'm tired of everything and I can't say yes to everything
You've also watched it, but tell me what you think
Are you abhorrent? Or feel bad?
I could feel the looks of contempt and rejection to some extent
You know me very well; in fact, you know everything about me; I'm shy and don't want to show myself
So far, only you are aware

Is it already too late, or does actual time not longer exist?
So why did I continue doing what I already knew to do?
Describe everything to me so that I won't be surprised
Perhaps I'm startled, but you already know how stupid I've always been
Don't use foul language or curse at me
You have asked for that, and so I am

At times, I experience restraint
Perhaps it's because I'm obnoxious, but you're also annoying; you're like a mother, but you're not my mother, and you're not a God

Can it make any more sense? I didn't mean to challenge, but why did you let me act in this way after saying, "You'll understand later"?
Do you already know that and have you just allowed it to happen?

Come to me now while I still have the ability to lie to you, scrunch up my mouth, and roll my eyes in your direction
Don't leave me alone, just explain
I didn't go; it was you who abandoned me in this manner

Wait, did you actually stay with me?
You already know I'm leaving, don't you?
I'm going insane, but at least I'm back
Do you think I'll ever leave you again?

Will I continue to trust in you?
Will you continue to trust in me?
Everything others have worked for should pay off, but I'm not sure when I'll sacrifice other people's kindness for my own shortcomings.

Have you ever wondered how it is that you always seem to know about everything while I don't?
I sometimes find it difficult to wait for the day, so please don't make me
I need this to be over with soon because I don't want to know anymore
I'm not sure how long I can wait, but I'm confident that you will
We are like a mirror; as long as you see me, I'll see you

I won't use your time for my own sake
Even if you'll end up being let down, leave me alone
Would you experience repeated disappointment?
But I don't believe that's significantly worse than feeling hate for oneself

The rest is up to you; just have faith in me. I'll take care of myself
Don't tell me you're disappointed; I've been disappointed in everything, so don't say that to me
This won't change, and I'll only make it with a lot of confidence
So please don't bother me right now; I'm fine

Even though it feels like I've said it before, it will be repeated; that's where I need you
Please
Just get it all done
Due to the fact that I will not swear
It's adequate

Uniformity and flowers
Laughter and dining table decorations
Little kids running
The Sweet Sixteens burning papers
Elderly and their disease
Cold tea in orange plastic cups
Singing and clothing with a dash of conceit
I had drawn to its close
Dubiety is up in the air
What are we thinking of?
I did not ask for any
And I've always wanted to know
Regarding of what should I have a fancy for
Babbling with the most incoherent argot
How long will it last?
We are not lacking any of it
As if we cry out for more
Wearing this tight red dress is tiresome
Might raise many questions
I found the final dialogue withal
Dissolving into none

From the omnipotent giver
To the omnipotent guard
Nil to the edge
Nil and consistent

Red lights, green lights
Vision is obscured and powerless
Think about who was the most indecent

Praises
And all the sweet smell of paradise
I quit running
From the bloodbath that evening

Totally pitiful sovereign
Wishes are conceded
As yet lacking and should demand

Two of them dancing, crying, chuckling
Now is the right time, I said
Not a commendable act, you said
And the exit door is over yonder

Blue skin and dull eyes
The fantasy of certain ladies and men
The cry you like
And the strange grin

From cinders to remains
Since I was resembling a carcass
And you are likewise gone
So nobody else could endure

But, there is as yet an opportunity
And there is

Hearing stories from various individuals about their complaints about different things has become my daily menu. Not to mention that i sometimes attempt to relate their story to mine to discover what is familiar between us all. Furthermore, it ends up being Fretfulness.

Now and again i consider escaping the "space" i made myself yet do i truly need this space? Envision an existence without limits, opportunity that is so vast it will allow me to travel anyplace with no control. Truly, i need that control. I need that space, that limit.

Fretfulness isn't incited: it attempts to discover avocation for itself, and to do as such, it utilizes all things, the most contemptible affection, which sticks to It, when it discovers It. Fretfulness incites itself, uncovers itself, it is a limitless creation. Fretfulness is an outflow of the flawlessness of human instinct. It is the yearning of the common life for the higher.

Ridiculous and mortal life is the acknowledgment of a piece of growing up and controlling fretfulness. That everything is impermanent and satisfaction is scarcity.

The stunning you see presently, isn't tomorrow
Particularly about the sentiments
Feeling regretful? Hang on briefly, don't feel excessively
Asking over and over—asking yourself inquiries, and again hanging tight for one another's answers
Clearly nobody replied
When will you keep on being this way?

One hour left.. what time is it?
Has your friends answered to your message? Try not to stress excessively
Need to taste the breeze? Simply go to the second floor overhang, remember to bring some espresso, you have been going to and fro twice
I'm starting to ask as many questions as you think
Am I your brain as well? I don't have the foggiest idea, how is it possible that anyone would know?

See, everything appears to be typical, right?
Try to incite your dread. How is it possible that it would be, you are extremely cheerful at this moment
Goodness, you can—indeed, on the grounds that you recall that you can handle this, correct?

You actually must be incited, as well
Try, listen the sound of the little chicks kidding
Isn't excessively irritating? Truly, simply increase the volume of your speakers
Not relaxed? Would you like to feel more relaxed?
Mention to me what you like other than praises to the leaves

Gracious, it's as yet the equivalent

Quiet down and don't get devoured by your own conscience,
Tomorrow you will forestall it with a similar way—can you?
Need a tissue? Only two minutes, you know, you promptly burst into tears
Oh, that thing, once more, would you say you are not happy with rehashing that scene?
There is no requirement for contributions to watch it

Other than
The lady you respect additionally gazes at the roof of her room each night
The man who consistently welcomes you is arriving at his fantasies—his darling who is usually close to him is dozing in her own room, expecting to meet him in a her sleep
The man with the sweet grin consistently asks you something very similar in light of the fact that you never attempt to ask him whatever else

All are contemplating themselves

Take it easy

There will be no more distress when you bite the dust from everything you could ever hope for
Two hands covered the ears from the boisterous hack of the elderly person
The clockwork thumps each night

As though all is well

As though all is well