as i said before, the real active ingredient in cigarettes is not nicotine, nicotine is the flavoursome bit, the real active ingredient is carbon monoxide, the thing that spins your head a little on the first cigarette of the day.

oh god my nicotine hangovers
are worse than my alcohol hangovers,
i get this cough when waking
that makes schnitzel from my lungs
on the cough up (you'd think
it was tuberculosis), but recedes
once enough active ingregient in
my addiction is inhaled...
but the odd thing is...
when by odd chance i do get the classical
hangover with a headache...
my nicotine hangover is not apparent,
i don't cough...
and i cure this hangover by not
trying to think, thinking and brain
pain don't work together...
so i lie in bed, sing some *rammstein
and later drink enough coffee
for the caffeine cure of increasing
blood pressure / blood flow;
or the classical hangover could be due
to the fact that i was headbanging to
sepultura's ratamahatta...
   any coin flip is just as good to explain
this scenario.

i've been feeding pork and beef to my cats
for months,
   and they love it (i'm wondering why
they don't drink the streotype disney fantasy
of also drinking milk - but apparently
cats are lactose intolerant, and it
gives them the *****)...
          but what i am worried about is this:
there's this uncooked chunk of beef lying in
the kitchen for me to eat...
                                                  it's there, teasing me,
and i'm actually contemplating about going all out
tartar on the thing...
                                        which comes from
what is equivalent to the mainstream forum base
of "virtue" signalling...
                      are there parasite embryos in this
piece of meat? probably? mad cow disease?
probably... i didn't get to go to the glasbury retreat
for almost two years because of the outbreak...
some people don't get to go to the glastonbury festival:
i'm actually considering lucky to have never been...
went?
             yadda yadda: equivalent to be there...
and then heidegger's ontological fetish for being...
whatever...
     it's a raw piece of beef...
                           and it's lying in the kitchen and
i'm supposed to eat it... but go completely tartar?
    it's not mince beef... it's lying here whole...
          it's not going to be a rare steak experience if
i actually do decide to eat it tartar style...
     cultural inheritence? ever experience a mongolian
horde? they did what i'm about to accomplish
with beef, not horse-meat...
                                                 blood-flesh...
sheer... i'm almost turning my teeth into culinary
items of a knife and fork...
   i know i will eat this piece of raw beef meat,
i know i will... because i know that raw aquatic meat
has more chances of containing parasite embryos
than mammalian flesh...
   well... there will be potatoes and broadbean
stalks on the side to add to the flavour... or as some say:
roughage (or fibre).
        but it's the erotica of eating raw beef
that reminds me of the time i "ate" a ****...
                          hmmpf... the perfumes and juices
and aura...
                  the way it overcomes the fetish of suckling
at a sweating armpit...
                             there are gradations in lymph
juices... a person who had a skin (ahem) "disease"
known as acne, and that person being a male,
is twice as like (of the totality of being a person) to enjoy
phem-la... i don't have a proper noun for it,
i hope someone coins the phrase... phemlolo?
               i never knew that ******* only applied to
woman on man... i thought there was a libra in that
definition in reverse... reverse of *******
while ******* a woman? stick your face in the part
your're about to **** with your genitals...
        i slobbered into that part of a woman, teased it with
my nose and spoke so many silent vowels with
the waggling tongue... that i evidently had to become
a part-time eroticist: and that's apparently the shameful
area of the art of writing;
               but you know: as you do in rome...
             now comes the biblical ******...
"forbidden" fruit? that's obvious... it's staring you
in the face!
                          variations of revisionists that cut off
foreskins (excesses of genital parts)...
         it's oral ***... that later translates into
                                          voiced anger, dialectics...
and to think: to state great principles with that part
of the body, and then reduce it to oil up female
genitals? worth it.
                   i really have to reduce it to that,
the mere thought of eating a raw piece of meat that's
in the necro spectrum and will not ooze out
anything equivalent to an aphrodite's perfume
    is brooding over me toward the shrine of thanatos...
but then performing oral *** on a woman's
genital parts is twice as revealing, and taking pleasure
from it? homosexuals do the same, or
are equipped with the same materials:
  it really is a house of cards,
                               the king up and the king down...
yet those who perform this "obscene" act mentioned
           in the book of genesis... of that "tree's" fruit you
will not eat: look... moses didn't speak slave tongue of
the hebrews... and of the people that spoke moses'
tongue, you'd need the equivalent of a rosetta stone...
but now you need three more language variations
to "understand" that's happening...
    probably english... i guess russian... and i'm trying
to think of a third... german?
      but it fallatio... what of the feminine opposite...
and some might dispute this: but i did eat a camomile
in harlow, ****** out of my head...
                              asking the police to take me home
in one of their vans at the end of the night;
fun times in england, with bulgar prostitutes:
who lie they're romanian and then speak to one another
using the cyrillic term haraшo / dobře / o.k.
             still, the idea of what is to come:
eating a steak of meat that's not minced, tartar-style
transcends a literary fascination with *******
literature (akin to harold norse's biography
******* angel) - it will simply remind me of
having once "eaten" out a very flavoursome piece of
****; and then engaged in butchering its face
to contort into O and Ah.

Love is not lust tho' lust may lead to love
As seedlings basked in sunlight spring to flowers,
Young blooms may make a golden treasured trove
Where tender tulips kiss in huddled bowers

Love ripens like straw-nested berry fields,
Plump, juicy, flavoursome, and blushing red
As nature's bounteous sweet harvest reveals
Her shapely form resplendent in her bed

Love is an acorn to the mighty oak,
Deep-rooted and unbounded by the sky;
Love ripples like a genteel puddled cloak
Laid bare to keep a silken petal dry

    Love is but love and life is but to love:
    So poets write and lovers seek to prove

Dearly departed,
Pray for me
In life I still need to excrete
Not only faeces but thoughts
Just like food in my mouth
I chew possible sounds
Until they are… reproduced
I think
What I thought was art
Is now a bit bitter on my tongue
The saliva must be tainted
With odours I’ve inhaled
Because this ******* I taste
Is too flavoursome
I know this isn’t appealing
But neither is the finished product
Unwrap what you can
Of what we toss down to you
And swallow what you think is sweetest
You know it will all be… sour
I think
What I thought was lasting flavour
Turned out to be flesh
And even as I write this
I feel the unpicked hair in my teeth
So that when I create
I am secretly painting in words
From the inside out
I am closer to you in this way
But in that way-
Not so much.

Dearly departed,
Pray for us
In life we must run to you
But in living we must wait
Amongst the rotting peels
We left in our backpacks
For too long
We’ve learned to speak
About the smell
But in doing so our breaths
Stink up the air
And our legs are getting stiff
Sitting cross legged and festering thoughts
Bubbling images we wanted
To forget
God, this is a witch’s ***
But she forgets to stir it on hot days
And we decay
Faster than you do, I swear
The curses don’t become me
I know, the curses
Must be me and them.

Dearly, Departed,
Pray, and still listening
I’m sorry about the foulness of everything.

You deserve to wake up and smile because of your beautiful, bright, bold soul.
You deserve to laugh loudy and feel fusion of fluttering in your tummy.
You deserve to shy away and cover your rose-pink face.
You deserve to feel raw, ruddy, real emotion only with positive and pure intentions.
You deserve success due to your persevering, powerful  power house.
You deserve sincere care due to your pious purity.
You deserve to be fed with flavoursome fruits and nourished emotionally and physically.
You deserve to be put on a pedestal like a clear celestial body.
You deserve the truth and not to be fooled by equivocation from three weird sisters.
You deserve someone to pump oxygen into your heart and not deprive it of tenderness.
You're worth more than millions upon billions.
If anyone can't see the love you deserve, remove them you're an
Oscar Award.
You deserve it all-
But I'm not  good or the best.

I am the worst.

-Nuha Alli

I can hear the baby quail,
they’re telling me, from in the hay bales
and chirping like little frogs.
While they themselves
**** back their bog pockets,
bloom, press the weak wood, and leak to me.
The trickle-slap pipistrelle
in subito notes, that hit and fall,
that explain to me so frantically.
crooning to me so mutually
and between themselves,
like organs pumping air into each other.

The birds sail on it over fields
relying on the attitude of the night,
feeling out its hot rushes.
In sensory geography,
dependent on a mood of its own.
In an ocean, emancipated from the moon.
The sky-lung, plays its shivering reeds
Where the spores, the sycamore, shattering
in crochets, quavers, in minims,  
on any mistral score
are mooring till but a touch of direction.
It hears all of what my fingers feel. 


It tastes all of which my eyes are witless.
The asp in the verge tasting me
with undulating flick of forked tongue
in aromatic echolocation,
both received and given by all.
The curious noses of foxes
between the furious foxglove
sifting out the berries of effort,
of strain and sweat in fur
haunting out from the stems.
There they find the scared,
shouting in the language of the animal.

And when the colours leave the flowers with the day  
the night is painted in flavoursome air.
The night which licks at your ear,
the night that chatters amongst itself,
sonic charybdis,
whirling in the moth-light.
The dark side of the earth
is facing me.

and how many times did a drag of a
cigarette after a few drinks
make the drinks more potent?
countless times, each time i got
hit by a carousel.

i started smoking cigarettes after all
the joints of half tobacco half
marijuana, that was when i was 21,
now i'm 29 pushing two months into
30, and i'm suddenly quitting...
no, not the nicotine addict, or
the prime active ingredient (carbon monoxide)
ingredient addict, as sold by big pharma
companies that give quitting smokers
the rattling tick itch, ready to pop
a synthetic analogue of the thing you once
did... yes, *did, because what's missing
with that therapy of quitting is the actual
aesthetic of blowing out smoke,
my hands weren't ready to quit the
'the devil makes work for idle hands'
popping a nicotine pill or chewing a nicotine
gum will not work, you might as well
compare smoking a cigarette to injecting
a needle & syringe into your hand,
the cold turkey aesthetic of chewing gum,
patch of "cough nicotinemint" will really
bother you, i tried the chewing gum once,
very peppery, itched my tongue...
now i'm the bishop's fat (that's φατ),
because i'm drinking whiskey, carrying
a portable hookah pipe and the auburn whiskey
the amber whiskey flavour, cutting through
with chocolate mint, i ordered more flavours,
10ml bottles of coconut, tobacco, apple, strawberry,
you name it! but i needed a time frame,
smoke my last cigarette by throwing imaginary dice
(putting felt-tip dots on a napkin), drew:
                    .           .               .            
                          .
                    .       ­    .                           .      (5, 2)
and
                    .           .                            
                          .­                           .
                    .           .                                   (5, 1),
that's thirteen drags of a cigarette,
clocked it with my last one, under 5 minutes,
roughly four and a bit, after all, the cigarette
burns automatically once lit, so you have to hurry,
and the flavoursome vapour 13 drags?
well into 15 minutes... apart from the aesthetics
of the whole experience... no coughing,
no phlegmatic residue in the throat,
no tar numbing of the palette...
and economically speaking, i'm going to be
saving in a range of £30 - 50 a week not
buying cigarettes.

memories flavoursome deep
a scent of lovely reminder
some intangible happening
but experienced all the same
comes upon the silence
of listening wait
a wholeness harnessed
within the eternal mix
gladdens the heart of creatures

On my 26 x 39 (inches) bed
lies a pillow –
mushy and white –
named ‘Desire’
on which my head sinks
once a day or night,
sometimes twice when you
shed your eyes of negligence at me.

The pillow cover –
17 x 26 (inches) –
made of wrinkled cotton has small,
three-petal purple flowers printed on it,
that droop when you
let your well-crafted features
not sink into my sight –
a tease that you are;
only salty tears to revive them at night?

You are a post-midnight snack
dipped in vinegar –
a little of soya-sauce and sesame oil
to coat you up;
would you not let me have a bite
of your flavoursome existence –

only then would I be able to
sleep well –
my head sunk into oblivion on my
17 x 26 (inches) pillow named ‘Desire’.

My 26 x 39 (inches) bed may not have
enough space for you,
but I have learnt to live in
a compromising manner –
I would crawl up a bit
and make space for you
so that we both can lie-down
and let the seasons pass –
monsoon to autumn,
autumn to winter,
winter to spring,
and spring to summer.

When summer comes next year,
we shall get up from my 26 x 39 (inches) bed
and comb our hair,
have a light breakfast;
I may perhaps smoke a cigarette
or two,
and then we shall part our ways.

And when you leave my house,
it shall become a shrine for lovers
who walk hand-in-hand,
stop by in mornings,
afternoons,
and evenings,
to offer freshly-bloomed daisies
to my pillow named ‘Desire’
which has the shape of our heads imprinted –
seasons of love well-spent.

come the end of the year, i finally feel fatigued, a complete burn out, all the excess of calorie intake from whiskey doesn't help, not even caffeine / nicotine boosters help, i'm usually so invigorated by winter, come to think of it: winter always invigorates me: so much that's the cold so much concerning the hibernating insects... ah... yet another thought... i wish i could love a girl like a teenage boy might love a girl... nuanced... androgynous, i remember quiet clearly, i used to don long hair, clean shaven... we were in Valentine's Park once, kissing on the grass, a dozen colts walked past and joyfully screamed: lesbians! lesbians! we had our giggle... in South Park we clashed teeth when kissing, we kissed so much that our lips became numb, another time in South Park she pulled out my phallus and rubbed it admiring its size... me... i thought it was tiny... big hands, can hold a basketball in one hand, could hold one in one hand since i was 16... i wish i could love like that, innocently, naively, whole-heartedly, romantically: with a heart as soft as an oyster... now... i wake up with a hardened skull... i can feel another oyster... my brain trying to escape this body, pulverising my forehead... i sometimes feel a sharp pang in my chest... i think that's where that old labyrinth of feelings use to be... now... it's merely a sinking sensation, a thrill no less, but hardly any reason to explore attachment... to a place? sure... to an animal: all the more... but... to give up the thrill of reality to being bound to a woman?! to give up, my passion for music, hell... even share it?! i'm growing old, at 35 i know i'm still in my prime, but i'm looking much further ahead, i'm preparing myself for... at worst, "worst"... a sacrificial suicide, at best the Dutch approach of marrying death via euthanasia... or... not yet, not, just yet... but i wish i could love as i once loved, so naively so child-like, mind you: i can still **** women like i used to love them in that pageant of innocence... but... beyond that? i'm sorry... that boy left... this man is not here for some mediocre soap opera novella of a love... above-point to consider... why are cats getting all the nagging, cat-lady associates etc. cult of the cat?! eh?! what about william burrough's love of cats? only women own these: bonsai tigers?! why do i have to own a dog... dogs are great when you're a boy... since usually you run around with them, freely, care-free, climb trees while they bark with concern: you're too high up! dogs are great when you're a child, a boy, someone older usually takes care of them, you just run around with them... but as you age... ****'s sake... a dog requires a leash, a dog requires a systematic: walking to take a ****... routine... sometimes even a muzzle... almost constant attention... bonsai tigers on the other hand?! what's with this ******* cat-lady meme... where's the warlock from Warsaw meme? no leash, i can ******* and do my thing, the cat can ******* and do its thing, we sometimes meet up when eating, they usually eat when i eat... the toilet? they do it secretly, or... when they really have to: in the cuvet... i wipe my own ***: why wouldn't i scoop up a doughnut of **** of pseudo-sand?! point being... no ******* walkies... no leash... i can ignore a cat... it can ignore me... if it really wants attention: i'll gladly give it, but it has to ask for it, i'm not going to simply: give it some unncessary excess!

it began with... four letters... very much unlike
the Hebrew letters of their deity...
it began with... ∇ (del): an explosion of Y...
it began with delta: Δ...
therefore it must have begun
with the keyhole and the key being turned:
the iota bound to
Θ & to Φ...
           we'll end it there... although
we could consider... Ψ (psi) -
there's an iota in that too...
but i'm looking for the Greek equivalent
of the Hebrew tetragrammaton...
why ignore the psi? the psychology emblem /
totem... the back & forth of the tetragrammaton
"we're" looking for a name of the anti-God...
starting from YHWH...
we have the fist letter...
∇Δ: del or delta... st. peter being crucified upside
down... hey-zeus hanging upright...
the combination carves: the star of David...
it doesn't matter... in terms of how
Greek letter operate, since: the letters are also
nouns that are used in science as constants...
it makes no difference where the cut-off point
comes... we'll still get a D at the end of
d-el / d-elta... but El... is a real word in
qabbalah... in the Sefirot...
wait a a while... i'll take a sip of some whiskey
while i write down the schematic of
the tree of knowledge... bear with me...

                               keter (cown)

binah                                                 chokhmah
  (understanding)                                   (wisdom)

gevurah                                              chesed
(strength)                                               (love)  EL

                                 tiferet
                                  (beauty)
hod                                                      netzach
(splendour)                                          (victory)
                                  yesod
                                  (foundation)

                                  malkhut
                                  (kingship)

surd H, vowel-catcher H of the tetragrammaton
in all the vowels: throughout...
not the prime, vowel-spawner of
laughter present...

obviously i can't simply use H: that's a vowel in
Greek... the shorter variation of epsilon...
name... H(η) eta...
sure, in the Latin script that's...
the genesis of laughter, the Hebrew definite
article... thank god we laugh via ha ha
and not by any other syllable combination...
that would be... simply... weird...
the first "hatch" of the tetragrammaton is
source of laughter... the second "hatch", H,
of the tetragrammaton is...
in English... a source of silence, of meditation...
sometimes... the H behaves as a surd...
usually an apostrophe replaces the H...
that's as close as the English folk come to
diacritical indicators...
    'atch... 'ate... they're not as bad as the French
with their letter-eating / phonetic cannibalism:
but they're up there...
e.g. is ****- offensive? did i say
Iraqi-*******-STANI?! you, ****?!
it's just lazy speech...

  *******, read the Quran or something...
sound offends you... good! you should start
listening to people talking with a lisp...
the missing trill of the R offends me,
good & proper...
who told people a trilled-R is somehow...
unfashionable, or whatever was "wong"
with a trill of the R? rolling a ******* stone
up a hill, the myth of Sisyphus?

but i have a replacement for the H...
the laughter based H: hatchet + a-lpha...
i also have the surd H... like...
the gamma in GNOME is a surd...
you could... write that word the following way:
'NOME... why bother including the gamma
in a word that... doesn't use it?!
English isn't difficult... it's just *******
pedantic... write one way, speak another...
not exactly evolved... sort of lost between
****** speak and Japanese katakana...

a sort of an ugly merging of tongues...

****'s sake... i studied chemistry at university
to end up... suckling up to...
something resembling a resurrection
of alchemy, a romanticism associated with
the science of chemistry that can only
be translated into... a new kind of wording...
Na: sodium... because... Na is not merely:
n'ah... it's NATRON...
Fe: iron... because... it's not f'eh: it's ferrum...

so beside the instigator crux of laughter...
the surd machinery... the second H of
the tetragrammaton is also a:
vowel-catcher... at first you laugh...
then you... ah... sigh...

how hard it is... to give birth... to an antithesis
of a God... esp. if... the supposed God
is a linguistic parallel... originating in the Hebrew tongue...
being part Greek... part... instigated by
the Latin script...
i need to see the antithesis lettering... prior...

i already conjured up a missing link in the
Greek pantheon... namely?
the god behind: the phenomenon of solipsism...
Solipsus...
that placebo affair: thought experiment...
with real life implications surrounding
autism...

clearly i'm becoming a burn-out...
excessive drinking, writing almost every night...
once i could get away with scribbling
this down in one nightly session...
now it takes two nights...
two drinking sessions...
i just invested 50quid's worth of *****
for the seasonal "celebrations"...

fatigue hits me like a **** tonne of bricks...
i start caving...
better me cycling for 40 miles
than... standing, stewarding a football match...
meeting & greeting the public...
creative fatigue... this sponge of  brain is
a Brian and somehow:
Brian is "missing"..
i'm spent... maximum effort: minimal results...
well... at least as a poet one
shouldn't concern himself with cancel culture
that's affecting comedians...
i hate those monologue *******...
esp. that Carr guy...
it's funny... but it's also irritating:
makes me nervous, half-baked nervous...
just ill...
so, i just ignore him...
i try... but then popular culture
keeps pressing the wrong sort of buttons...
hey presto...
that face, i'd love to punch...
for tax-evasion schemes...
maybe that's why i feel like...
itchy-knuckles... those pursed lips...
some people just have a physiognomy
you want to either: slap or punch...
can i do both?
i feel like doing both...
no offence: joke... ha ha...
am i the only one laughing?

     i've been having problems with digestion
of late... apparently i've become intolerant
to milk... will i be drinking this almond ****
for much longer... the usual stuff gives me the *****...
does it require it being doubly filtered?!
do i need to drink goats' milk
to ease eating a marzipan cookie, & dough?
please tell me, oh "lord":  i can't be away
from not driinking milk: straight out
from the profanity of life's secondary "mother"...

digressing... no more cow milk foir you...
great... if i were a Hindu...
i can eat, beef, now?! no?!
the mother load of measures conscripting me
to not eat beef... has... fizzled out...
cow milk gives me constipation &
diarrhoea...
ergo? beef's on the menu, boys!
goat though... almond... tried oats?!
i need... milk!
cheese and ******* yogurt will not
cut it for me...
goat then... can't drink beef juice...
eat beef... or... wait a little...
perhaps the juice hasn't been
double pasteurized... doubly filtered...
i, never, quiet: essentially...
expected this...

now for the red-blooded meat!
bring it!
if the cow won't give up her milk...
for my digestion...
she best give up her red...
fission of blood... fleshy discards...
scaphism...
truly: eating sometimes... somehow
becomes a torture...
as Socrates is cited to have said:
some... live to eat...
while others... eat: to live...
i do enjoy the spices...
i do enjoy the... smoked salmon
with lemon juice & a creamy cheese...
the bagel! rounded... glutton...
like a *******'s buttocks rounded up
to metaphor a peach! ha!
or the raw herring in a
creamy sauce aligned with a dill sauce...
my preferences...
not yours...

- i hate my mother, then again: i love my mother,
my fatheer ws abandoned by his,
his father...
she's currently doing my father's nails...
i showed her a Botticelli's Venus & Mars...
the one were Venus is an amputee...
the leg dynamic...
i thought it was funny... my mother thought i was drunk...
i am drunk...
come on though... can't get a joke?!
sober people... blah...
about as interesting as Brussels Sprouts...
boring rigorous little busy-bodies...

oh... right... that inverted tetragrammaton...
here:

∇ΘMΦ...

   now, your choice of vowels to impregnate
the consonants,
the Hebrews hide them like some Europeans
hide the H... via the diacritical method
of the stupendous orthography...
Charles Dickens might have cited "orthography":
i.e. a spelling mistake...
you get orthography, when you apply
diacritical distinctions... otherwise just some
"flavoursome fancy"...

niqqud:  which implies...
kametz / patach (a ****** way of saying Ah or... Ą)
tzere / segol (again, the ****** way
of saying Eh or... Ę)
sheva - well, that's not ******...
that's Ing-Leash with the apostrophe ':
akin to 'nome... some "g" or other...
cholem - that's for O(micron)
chirek - why i, i y i not j(aded),
kibbutz & shurek - upsilon for the Greek
while an acute cholem for the ******... ó)

an appellation on behalf of the Hebrews from
a Latin man inquiring about the original
investment of the Greeks in
crafting the New Testament...

can you please... come up with an "Exodus" book,
or thereby equivalent to match up to the
"Genesis": new, thus stated...
thank you for the stated genealogy "study"...
you think you're ready? has Rome died?
has the Roman alphabet imploded,
died, like Cunieform?!
i thought the Hebrew diety either:
ate up foreign dieties and made them demons
(odd show, Beelzebub)
or... smashed the phonetic encoding systems
of other people...
so, i ask... why am i still typing in Roman?!

****'s sake, i can still give you the basics of
how the coliseum was constructed...
they constructed it using VI + IV = X!

hasn't the greatest Exodus happened,
after 2000 years... Israel was returned...
lazy ***, ****'s sake... camel jockeys!
no one is going to write about your trials
and tribulations for future generations
to understand?!
how the Hebrews returned to their homeland...
almost, lazily,
do i need to spur one ******* on
to conclude the New Testament without
managing to haggle the book of the Apocalypse?!

whales that beach themselves...
what... they'll spontaneously turn into
monkeys?!
sure... they're mammals... but it's not like
they'll spontaneously grow the sort of limps
that'll enable them to climb trees!
suicide among men makes so much more sense
when whales perform the act (of suicide)...
i'm on board...
it's not even pathetic, it's just... ******* weird...
i too don't feel inclined to belong...
we can all be jokes: ha ha... banter blah
a few minutes longer... but truth be told...
this sort of ******* has a life-span that:
i'm not too sure whether i want:
to see-through fully, to a conclusion...

best be on my bicycle and block out the world;
the world can burn...
hey... if you want... i'll even involve myself
by giving the burning some ******* jazz-hand /
applause...
because these are the times...
a comedian is self-conscious of comedy
via CANCEL CULTURE...
the poet... they ignored you, they ******* on you,
they already cancelled you...
right... so, now what? i'm supposed to stand
up?! defend comedy?!
oh believe me... this is the greatest gag around!

you didn't defend the poet...
i don't think there's a need to defend "your"
sort of sorry state of "comedy"..
must have been a very bad joke to begin with...
it's the ideal returns policy:
i give out as much love as the love that was given
to me... seems fair, seems...
equilibrated, n'est ce pas?!

to think that life is "here"... "there" to be... ahem...
"enjoyed"... well... no wonder
that the Iberians are full of this shyte...
not ****: shyte...
       life's a given... we're talking about navigating
through a minefield of would be
walking abortions if we check the selective process
these days...
far from it: i'm not going to enjoy myself...
some spinach has passed its best-before-date...
i'll salvage it... cook up some quick spinach +
chick pea curry in a hurry...
once the spinach is cooked: it'll last longer...
some cumin powder, some coriander (powder)...
turmeric... since it does pretty much the same
thing that: enter search... ingredient that
turns rice, yella... oh... it didn't even come up...
search engine my own brain: saffron...
achar masala, just a pinch...
bay leaves, all-spice... cloves, on or two...
cardamom powder... black pepper... salt...
paprika... Kashmiri chilly powder...
     blah blah blah...
come to think of it... i have three real passions in:
this, given, life...
cycling... esp. at night... mid-week...
when the streets are... truly empty...
my god... it's like flying...
cooking... esp. the Indian cuisine...
spices like... a chemistry set...
the buzz you get from cooking up a storm...
nothing compares to it...
even if you're using something as bland
as spinach... one spice goes 'ere...
another v'er... hey presto...
some tomato juice, some coconut milk...
now all you need to finish the dish off is
some coconut milk and... the proper flour
to make your own japati hmm's...
the hmm's part is: so... yet to discover, yeast?!
it's like this basic formula that has
to stretch as far back as Assyria:
flour + water + salt...
dough-making... then exposed to heat...
of a frying pan...
what's flour? good question... i know what wheat
it... i know that paper is a variation
of timber...
are the people who discovered these
things, famous, these days?
the man who discovered beer?
even Plato said: good on him... but what, was,
his, name?!
fame, like memory... what a fickle little creature...
now fame is shovelled en masse over a load
of *******... someone invents a cure
for some algebra "X"...
it doesn't matter... some ******* some *** some
camel-toe will always be more important...
think with your ****... act like a *****...
all these suggestions...
to get the women you need to be an *******...
yeah, sure... but... i don't want to be an *******...
do i need to pursue existential validation
in the medium of: the pursuit of women...
after all... who ends up successfully pursuing
women... despicable creatures with the alias
of man...not that i care...
my fetish for German is perhaps...
no one's fetish at all...
      i'm just tired of hearing about a woman's sexuality...
she gets all the joyride while i get...
what? an urge every half a decade
when my female maine **** raises her ****
insinuating: i want *******
and i go off on a psychotic trip around London
looking for a brothel?!
i'm driven by an IMPULSE...
which is not exactly a SENSE...
i know there are the five senses...
but how many impulses are there...
and if there's to be made a schematic of differentiation
between / among them...
ought they be isolated,
don't they simply congregate when the timing
of some matter is... right / ripe?!

- and let's face it... if i were going to ******* wait...
for a date? payment: upfront...
from all these... hyper-"real" western women...
wait wait... come back...
wait... hyper-"real"... stacks against me...
a diversity "officer" might get paid 300,000 USD
for a year's worth of propaganda spewing...
but a poet, earns... ZILCH?!
i  might drink... but i have a work ethic...
i certainly don't need to accredit some
******* spelling-mistake editor like Bukowski
might have had to...

so... the game's rigged...
here's to all my flavoursome little brothers and sisters
in the universal conundrum
in some... Chinese sweat-shop / salt-mine...
******* sang jazz, ******* sang blues...
******* entertained...
perhaps picked cotton in the fields...
well thank god they didn't work in the metallurgy
industry... thank god they weren't coal-miners...
good god! they might have just been
"over-worked"!

n'ah... leave the Russians and us Polacks to sort of...
break our bones...
make work less an addiction and more a fetish...
masochism... trust the Germanic tribes to make
work an addiction... i like pain...

perhaps my northern "sentimentality"...
i, abhor, the, passions... the "supposed" passions...
of southern Europeans...
they're too influenced by Arabic thinking:
or not-thinking...
i abhor the PIGS: the Portuguese:
starboard: geese! geese! i know... a cheap joke...
the Italians... whatever mafia they're pushing...
priestly or H'Americana Incorporated
******* load of Italian'ah... ******* spaghetti swindlers...
loafers.... Greeks... let's suppose
i can stomach this ******* ethnicity...
i like basic mathematics,
i like philosophy: the basics of enjoying thinking
when no other pleasures are made available...
i abhor the Spanish...

but **** me, the next time a "******" starts singing
about...
"when it snows, my eyes grow larger"...
among the Hyperborean(s)...
**** me... let's try a mammoth-hunting man
singing about macaques monkeys
eating bags of sugar from your hand!
i tolerate you, forget about respect...

i was in Kenya, once, once upon a time...
to be honest? once's enough...
i saw the macaques, the baboon pirate...
agonised by hemorrhoids...
good... pain in the ***: pain for your ***...
serves you right for stealing...

i heard that some wheelchair bound French woman
was "stolen" from a beach in Kenya...
lucky me... i forgot to go to my hotel room...
wept when taking sight of the Indian ocean
crashing against the coast...
had a *****-nilly glass of bourbon in my onion's
worth of hand: onion's worth of mind...
i unpeeled it into some sort variation
of a dream... slept in the wide open... warm
air of the equator...

i was waiting for pirates...
not a lot of birds in Africa... plenty of humanoids...
i'm not going to do a *******
TOTO - Africa sing-along...
i don't want to go back... too hot...
i'm not an Anglo-Saxon... send me to... hmm...
Siberia... i need the cold...
i suffocate in a climate without a ******* season!
with... an equilateral reality of sunrise to sunset...
n'ah... i need! i crave!
winter!
inherently in me... the longest nights come
the wintry months! there's a time & there's a place...
send me to... oh, i'll willingly go...

KAMCHATKA! i'll **** of: immediately...
you will not hear from me again...
i'll do the whole Pontius Pilate scene...
no worry...

here... look at these words...
THE WORLD, SIMPLY, IS...
BUT... H'AMERICA... SOMEHOW...
ALWAYS HAS TO:"HAPPEN"...
resurrect a dying donkey
getting ****** by an elephant?
anglo-sphere right load of... *******...

perhaps i was simply on a hunt for ivory
for the "right" sort of white teeth...
white teeth.. mmm.... like...
stinking socks where never in existence
in Africa... perhaps socks weren't...
but stinking feet?
perhaps the two were never to be combined/....
"liberal" European Elitists (white),

oh  hello!
em...

bye, bye!