How i miss the nights of gritty lines of powder
not amphetamines
opiates and nicotine
some call it
a dopes hope
senseless vitality
nose out fine dust
peck of lust
down my neck
deaden caress
slump from a bump
pleased ease
composed mind.

I've walked many places
Many journeys unspoken of
Inner cities of my mind
Underground railroad
The streets of Salem
Marching for the word
A whisper in a city's dream

I looked to see the faces
A look of determination
As their stomach starts caving in
Ribs poking out
Mountains of disire
Watching...
As the white man gobbles food
Grinning for another day
American flag flying high
Confederate sitting beside
Laughing at fallen man
Monsters of the cotton field
Fear nesting in remains
Bullets holes holding on
A home for sin

I am hungry and tired
Melting from the pits of hell
Or the ground of more to come
I'm sick
Needing treatment
Needing king
To help me march
And the true god to help me sing

And we watch
Oh we watch for hope to rain
Needing freedom on our plate
Believe me
We all are starved

Was it love?
That shot us into thin air making our insides burn
Like the universe was punishing us
And setting fire to our heart?
Was it lust?
That turned us into the dust that collects on your bedside shelf
That your mother nags you to clean?
Was it love?
That made us break into abandoned buildings at 4 a.m and see flashing lights outside the broken glass windows
Then racing into the trees with racing hearts that could barely breathe?
Was it lust?
That pushed us into this nothingness but disire and we craved every part of one another until there was no space left between us?
Was it love.
Or
Was it lust.

The constellation of Leo I manifested through.
Ever since my birth my heart belonged to you...

Caught in the endless loop since Its inception but perfection made me move,
Now behind the fabric of deception I see the truth, Its so tragic. They've hidden her, my Aquaris.
In the womb of Atlantis.

Ugh..
Thats just how my story goes, you could of just said sorry. I would've accepted your apologys.
Now they ought to put me in orange clothes.

Ready for adventure but our relation forced me to stay at home.
Deja vu when your psycopathic needs reminded me of places from before.
I've been taking detour after detour only to meet ****** that changed my lore to eeyores.
Now I daydream to feel free,
or cry to let of steam because It seems that memories is the only thing that means anything to me anymore.

There's no more purpose to act ******* the surface my life is worthless.
In fact. The shortest straw is in my hand because I always allow myself to draw last
and no matter how many sticks I gather from my past I still cant seem to reach the camels back.

My fire that burned with the disire of hope is now learning its becoming nothing else than smoke.
Translucent like a ghost..
Everyone came to see my roast where God attended as the host.
Reviewing my life while everyone laughs like its some sort of a big joke...

Dear you,

I miss you and as I am sitting here typing away my feelings like letting water flow I realize what I should have done. I should I have wrapped my arms around you though you would have protested and told you that things were going to be okay even if I didnt know what I was saying.
I should have never placed barriers between us to protect you because you were trying to climb over, well it seemed as if you were. All these should haves cloud my mind and whenever I think it over I begin to have the feeling of sadness as it grows. Each Should have feeds it and it grows taller and sadder.
I should have kissed you, ignoring the consequences that would be sure to follow.
I should have held your hand longer and Should have spoken to you more.
I shouldnt have lied and said that the candy was just for friends
I should have never say okay because it wasnt okay that I was being Second Choice.
I should have stood my ground and told you that I really like you and that me being some hand me down, some black market brand of clothing wouldnt do.
God, I miss you.
And the ways about you.
Your happiness when it leaked out.
Your smile when it broke through
Even you anger and your stupidity.
I miss all of that.
You were the best thing that happened to me but not because we were ever together because we never were but because everything I did was proof that I cared about you.
Now I am left with fragments of hopes and dreams always blurred with disire.
Anthony Taylor Triplett, A danger to say your name,
I still want you
I should give up I should stop with this wanting and this longing
Because It will never be. But I have never been one to look on the datk side of things.
I cling on to the notion that we will be togehther like a piece of lint refusing to let go of cloth.

I will close with this.

XOXO

fire. fire is passion fire is disire.
It burns bright the smell of wood burning is calming.
The crackling of the wood is all you hear its soothing.
The warmth of the fire covers you like a blanket.
You feel the tingled sensation of the atmosphere.
The night air blows at the flames they dance.
They dance forming lovely images. Images of blissful people dancing to music.
Music bringing everything to life the flames jump and sway.
Watching them you could get lost.
Lost in its bright red orange glow.
Lost like a woman's kiss.
A Kiss that is soft gentle warm like the fire that burns before you.

By Raven Alexander

Born in blood
Conceived by disire.
Soul is a flood,
Of hells enternal fire.

Cursed with the burden
To rid this world of its evil
The truths behind a curtain
"These acts must stay concealed"

"This is who i am
I swear I'm a good man
But these acts can not stand.
One day you'll understand."

With years of hard work,
And understanding,
A skin tight leather shirt,
And endless planning.

Stocking the sinners that don't deserve
To walk this earth
And breathe the same air
But this is none of your concern.

"God, if this is not your will please give me a sign."
And silence is my only reply so i gusse he's mine.

This is it. Its time
To lure him in
Im in his mind
But this is where the fun begins

Picking at his brain was the easy part
But this is where my work will really start.
Now i got to get him into my lare,
I know his moves, all his motives, but no one really cares.
Except me.
This was fate, it was ment to be

Now heres a monster who begs me to spare his life.
This low life ******* beats on his kids and wife,

Strapped to a table,
Wraped up, bound and gaged
Like a horse in a stable
But now i start to get mad.

"You know why your here you filthy swine, don't play coy.
Your responsible for the death of an innecent boy.
But its ok, its america and you will get your trial,
But my court room doesn't pity the life of a petifile.
Me, the jury find you guilty of all your crimes.
you are sentenced to burn in hell for the rest of time.
Have fun explaining to god why your such a bad guy,  Now look me in the eyes,  cause now its your time to die."

As i lift up my blade
Its really quite a shame,
I just got this new carpet and there's already blood stains.
But it was worth it.
To see this kind of filth leave my earth.
I don't play god but i have to get ready for work.

"I'm not a bad man, this is my lifes calling.
So be good my fellow men, just know that I'm watching."

please Dear god help me tame this beast
every night is a fleshful feast
alawys staring in the heart of temtaions eyes
under the blanket of the midnight moonlight sky
disire's voice biting my ear
and pleasing thoughts far from a sear
oh how the waves of lust crash
calm then violent tides pass
and the wall of passion stops me
wide eyed in the cold
in the rain

In my hands, your touch
In my stare, the disire
In my mouth, all of it!
Just a kiss...

original in portuguese

Nas mãos, o toque
No olhar, o desejo
Na boca, tudo!
*Só um beijo...

I asked for a wish would it
come true, you told me to
think you answer would be true,
I asked of love and what if the wish
was granted what would it do.
  
A look was given, I will tell you the
truth. You can wish for love, you
pray to see if it comes true. But the
only person to find love can only be
you, its isnt brought or sold, it a feeling
of the heart and only you can make that
wish come true.
  
I thought again of riches, and if granted
what to expect from you, as before i will
tell you truth of riches untold and what it
will do to you.
  
Riches are good comftable you may be,
but happiness it may not bring. It brings
greed to the soul where you had nothing
you now what more, you,ll climb over
others to make this true. misery spreads
to your heart,money is good if earned
repected and then the true value you,ll
truely see.
  
I thought of wishes and the down side you see
for every wish seems good but there is always
a down side to see, so i thought through a day
and a night, less the sleep.
  
And i said i wish for no wish, i will make
my fortune through my efforts if i make
money through hard work so it will be.
  
Love is a hard targret to hit, but if i
am myself with those that i wish to
share love with, I may miss but one
will hit the mark, and that love will
be true to my heart.
  
We can wish for every thing we disire
but wishes arent true, only you can
pursue those dreams to make them
come true.

To makes sense of it all
doesnt make sense at all..
Like hitting the sky when you fall...
well ive fallen... fallen deep in love
No one understands it except my god up above
I dont know what you want
I give you you everything you disire
love you till the very end
Somtimes the truth doesnt rhyme my friend...
but time is what im really tired of
Spending it crying hard to trust theres a reason for spying..
Inside im dying of the insanity within me
But honestly you put it there
When you made it clear you didnt care
When u lied
You ****** lied
Once more nd we may hve to divide
Cuz lies plus lies equals no trust

Out of my heart there spews a disire.
It feels as if I exsit to die.
Taken and shaken and tossed me in fire.
When I'm around you I live in a lie.

You walk past not knowing your power.
The slight lingering scent of lavender flower.
A twinkle in your eye gives me shivers.
For you at night I cry deep rivers.

Out of my heart there spews a desire.
What good is that when I'm left on the pyer?
Consumed by the dark, a cold sweet fire.

I know what's coming,
I want to run away.
Maybe a deeper disire,
Always makes me stay.

He slips in behind me
Cuddles and watches TV.
Then he touches me and moves me,
And never once with a plea.

His rythm begins,
One leg bracing me in.
Leaving his hand down my pants
Grabbing at my skin.

With fury and anger
His force comes to an abrupt hault.
Unsatisfied and unloved,
I'm left shaking, in fault.

A few days later,
We're in the same routine.
Cuddles and watching TV,
But this time, I turn away from the screen.

One leg bracing me in,
His hand still down my pants.
Grabbing at my skin,
I'm hoping for a trance.

With fury and anger,
His force comes to an abrupt hault.
Unsatisfied and unloved,
I'm left shaken, in fault.

Rest, Sleep, Excersice
Drugs, Pills, Therapy
A chemical imbalence in the brain
My will lost
Do others really understand
We don't care
I know people will be sad
I know my family cares
I know they will miss me
But what about others

Others could care less
A week later their interest is lost
They stop remembering
They didn't know you
Maybe they did
But they dont care

BUT I DO!

What will crumble
What will die
What will stop
Who will be hurt
Who will care
Does anyone really care
Because if they live
What does it matter if I..

I want someone to truely care
Not because I'm ****** up in the head
But because I exist

No matter what you own
How much money you have
Who you're married to
Or dating
What you drive
Who you're related to
What you do

It doesnt change the fact that I'm

I'm not suicidal
I just dont care anymore
I just wish the whole world could just disappear
And I wish to my hearts disire
That everything and everyone could freeze
That time would stop
Except for me
So I could live my life without lives pressure
No appointments
No expectations
No laws or rules
No worry about
What people are thinking of you

I could sit alone with no hastle
or rush or time restraints
With my thoughts of them and me
And what life could be

But sooner or time will resume
I just wish I could control when

Most like me want the same
But choose and less sleep
Not one they can resume
Because stopping time is impossible
I guess so is gaining back my will to live

I know others are worse
And you stab me in the darkest of nights
But all I want is someone to listen
You attack me when I can sleep
Whether its at night or on a bridge
All I want is for you to stop but then I feel empty
And what's the use of that
At least when I'm depressed I feel pain
And sorrow but in day to day life
All it is is fake smiles and lies
That all I am is tired
Because with depression and fatigue
All you want is the same thing
Sleep
I just wish for the day I say I'm tired
You'll say no your not
Lets talk
I cry in pain when you walk away
But understand you dont understand
Many wonder why I'm always so sad but
The truth is I'm not
I do get little sleep but that doesnt effect me anymore
I have to stand there smileing looking down acting
Tired as I'm truely just hiding the tears
You say oh okay and walk away
Its happened a million times
Each time it rips off 1 piece of what I'm hanging onto
But I only started with 100
1,000,000 to 100 is a huge difference
Yes now all they do is rip a piece of nothing but they take it anyways
Because thats what people do
They take and take and take and take and take and take and take
Until you have nothing but then they'll still continue
To destroy you and why
Because

Because is all you'll get from them
There's NOT A ******* REASON
I have asked
I have asked a tormentor before
Why?
He sat there looked down and couldnt come up with
A SIGNLE ******* THING
Silence is the answer
So what is the reason
I don't know

But what IS the reason
Fathers leave their own children
Other humans attack other humans physically, verbally and especially mentally
People steal money a family in need truely needs
People break into peoples houses
People attempt suicide
People live
Live

Whats the reason
People die
People bully or harass
People expect A ****** MUSICIAN TO KNOW WHAT THE GOSH FORSAKEN NAME OF A ******* GENERAL OF SOME STUPID WAR THAT HAPPENED 200, 300 YEARS AGO

There's flaws in mankind
Some accept them
Some play neglegence
Some try to fix them

But in Acceptance theres many ways to accept mankind is mankind
Accepting it for what it is
Accepting it and moving on
Accepting it and providing input
Or help
Accepting it in death
After all thats why we all came here isnt it?
To die.

I've loved a man and I've lost
My beging, my first and our foughts
Faults and flaws to blame
Misery and shame
Icey was our fire
Melting and burning disire
Maybe one thats lost
Can be found again for a cost..