"crucifies" poems
She is young. Have I the right
Even to name her? Child,
It is not love I offer
Your quick limbs, your eyes;
Only the barren homage
Of an old man whom time
Crucifies. Take my hand
A moment in the dance,
Ignoring its sly pressure,
The dry rut of age,
And lead me under the boughs
Of innocence. Let me smell
My youth again in your hair.
7k
This little nightmare comes and goes
Its dark and tainted when it comes it grows
it taints all my dreams it crucifies my night
its hauntingly fast, I'm losing this fight
this creature of dark this son of night
fleeing again at the first sight of dawns light
It holds my terrors and haunts my dreams
But the demons it carries are demons from me
Oct 5, 2014
Oct 5, 2014 at 2:24 PM UTC
for now I feel the full weight of your words
back bent muscles ready to snap
and as I stagger along a flint strewn road
my feet cut bruised blue black
the shouts of tormentors reach my heart
once again the world crucifies a man
just a man, a mans truth embodied
you too stand in the crowd, and witness
Aug 26, 2015
Aug 26, 2015 at 1:32 PM UTC
calm me with your hands
smooth my wounds a little more
i'm lost in this invisible highway
wandering with lots of baggage
while i'm stuck here hung up high by disappointment,
crucified by travesty depression love and sickness
everyday my stomach hurts,
my head burns
i can see the light coming
but i know i must not surrender to the light
that is disguised as darkness
and i must remember, as my body aches
the good times and not the bad
perhaps those times were too few
if i could start over i would
crawl out of a small claustrophobic box of death
and depression
and with my hands, come back into the womb
surrender to the fall,
with the mother of us all
looking over
giving birth to everyone
so fast, so short
i can't look past you,
your eyes staring at me
watching me be taken down
you must throw me into the sun
the true light, the true fight
i can try to see the future but
i'm truly blind to everything
and i know you try to help
but every word crucifies and burns
my aching soul
and as I feel like it's time to melt back into the ground
i climb back into the womb with my Ladder
and wait to be slipped back in again,
but all I can feel is your face
all i see are your eyes
everyone else doesn't matter
i've waited so long
i've been up here so long
take me down
take me down
take me down
take me down
take me down
take me down
take me down
and just hold me,
for a little while
because i am not the one who needs to hold,
i am the one who needs to be held.
Jan 11, 2014
Jan 11, 2014 at 12:08 AM UTC
Speak, ******
Your words lace up my veins giving me courage
to fight the shattered glassed wind
that peals me apart,
But your absence of words that propels between your lips
allows that sharpened sigh become wind
that makes my feet miss the ground.
Your silence crucifies the tunnels of my ears
that plead for a satisfaction to my thirst
whineing to be spoon fed with words given in droplets on a sponge.
What happened to the letters bleeding into words,
dictionaries of f'ing words, that dripped
from your mouth that perfectly iluminated me?
Anxious thoughts, a moaning stomach, and slippery hands
do not resonate together to complete a symphony of calm.
So say something,
anything.
Dec 10, 2013
Dec 10, 2013 at 12:26 AM UTC
A ***** allergy to cast me out of Hell
A sneezing like coming from the brain
Nine times in a row as I left her in the snow
For something I'd lost
A long, long time ago.
The girl was sick and pregnant; sweating and sore
Her doctor was a humble, kindly man
He often drew on marijuana
Left her on the table
And left God to decide
Upon the sinews to reveal
Better not to propagate the table
Not to operate.
The swindler has a most convincing way
With your children well before they're born
He's in your pocket before your first ********
Bleeds your first wife's last abortion.
And sings on high it's time to fly
Time to leave the foster mother's frigid icy nips
Write off your wan crapulous ten year plan
Tom no more like tigers on the tactile plain
But join the orphanage in its raw and biting pain
Time to go back to a savage civility
That crucifies the sane with kid gloves and contempt
Chanting bold and blasphemous and oh, so democratic!
When Christ was always my dictator
Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013 at 6:10 PM UTC
Violence is no medicine for anger
Revenge is no food for the soul
Vice crucifies on an obsidian cross
And consumes your humanity whole
May 4, 2013
May 4, 2013 at 8:08 PM UTC
It was a twist of fate....
It was more than I could take....
Who would have known of this tragic moment?
In a split second, I find myself in a strange scenario.
I want no more memories.....
Sadly, they're all that's left with me,
Mingling...with
Feelings unexpressed,
Words unspoken...
Things I kept to myself before,
They're all bottled up inside me,
I fear I might explode...
With every beat of my heart,
I am reminded of how I lost you...
The pain, the angst,
Will not just fade overnight...
So let me open my heart to you now,
Dear Anna......you were my first...
I love you and your siblings,
But right now is between you and me.
Somehow, I see
How tight I had held you then...
How your tiny hands I had kissed so often
Before I let you go.....I had to let you go...
I wasn't the one who raised you...
I wish I could turn back the times,
I wish I had been the one....
This knife cuts so deep, it crucifies me...
You kept saying goodbye
In more ways than I could remember....
But...I failed, to perceive the hidden truths
In your messages,
I will be sorry for the rest of my life...
I love you, Anna, how do I cope?
I have no more strength...
I am in panic, I have no more hope...
A different perspective now resides within me...
I can't face tomorrow, because you won't be there.
If I were given a choice,
I wouldn't wish to see another sunrise...
I feel the emptiness of your space, here and now...
But...something...keeps pricking my brain.
An idea that somehow, creates sparks in my mind...
A consoling thought, it kind of pats my heart...
The sweet little daughter you left behind?
It makes me smile, as
I see her now, going through your stuff,
On your bed, where you had left them all scattered...
She has taken over, she's now in your space...
A glimmer of hope, she will be...
To pull me through each, and
Every agonizing night...
I love you, I miss you, my dear Anna........
(August 2013)
Sally
Copyright 2013
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 9:45 AM UTC
Evolution set us on the wrong path
Being about the survival of the fit.
Which means shortage crucifies
Those who are disadvantaged,
We can never become wholesome.
To evolve the good in us
Many try for justice but usually
Regardless of their own decline.
Most don’t realise the guilt cut,
So much is just genetic code.
This is the lesson humankind comes to
Learn on the presipise of its own demise
But in reality it has always been too late.
Lonely, desolate it creeps along the beach
Cradling the possessions it collected in life.
Love Mary x
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 1:11 PM UTC
Time stained by a mind filled with **** as
I stepped on the mush covered soil
I dare not listen to the obscenities of fabled mouths and crooked smiles
They lie to me as the cockroaches scamper across the floor
Leaving their disease ridden tracks and their dead children to rot
Why do I walk on these calloused soles?
Blistered skin and **** drained sores fester with my very step of time
I'd rather crawl, crawl with no remorse or conscious left
Drained and tired muscles cramp as I feel their seizure on my tired bones
The pain crucifies me deep
More **** stirs inside, whispered voices of past enemies linger
Lies and more lies, you lying *******
You snapped the ******* life out of me
I lost my own mind waiting for someone to say ***** you, ******* who the hell are you?"
Arms scratched with the razor's edge
Drop the drip and watch the filth flow
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 12:48 AM UTC
Singing one time like all
Clothed eyed people
Rolling their own cigarettes (that’s important)
Shawls and things that only
You know
Certain types of people wear
And the uniforms here are backwards
And you win only if
You stand out, but it’s just running away with people not chasing
Haircuts
Those are important too
Guys pretend not to have one but they let the faces get rough
And forest like
And girls act like caring isn’t a type of flightless bird but
It’s more of a statement maybe
And I thought I couldn’t be a banker because of the
Way I acted
And the way I felt about things like the weather and prostitution
But really
I can’t be a poet
Least of all I can’t be a poet
I must be wrapped swimming in clouds backwards, or something poetic like that
I can’t tell
The difference between
Being a doctor, teacher
A healer, a man that crucifies himself on Wall Street
A serial killer
A starving child
And a fashion guru
Earlier I said this out loud and
Now it’s a poem
( and the words go **** me **** me **** me
and the pages sing **** me **** me **** me)
Mar 27, 2011
Mar 27, 2011 at 9:07 AM UTC
Time crucifies sight
Soften your gaze
See the fully blossomed flower
In the slumbering rosebud
And love her as so
Mar 6, 2016
Mar 6, 2016 at 11:06 PM UTC
Those days I don't forget to forget
Are coming back again
Unknowingly I slipped out through the camps
The dream is a nightmare
Nightmares will be worse
I was beginning to think only my life is a curse
The stark reality crucifies all kids
Millions committing suicide
Children killed in the cribs
Is it the way of living or are we being tortured, mother
Am I to die even before I stutter
Those men in the ships will they rescue us
Or is the glory of the truth just another farce
Should I trust the government, mother?
Should I think mother? Should I die?
Aug 25, 2014
Aug 25, 2014 at 11:23 AM UTC
God look upon me, I so need you right now,
reveal your love, oh please please show me how,
I can't fight past this festering wall of decay
I'm tired, aching and lonely, I won't make it any other way
this heart you gave me is desperately ill
without your strength I'll wake in the morn to it still,
never have I had such luck with love, oh why,
do I find myself falling asleep begging to fade away, to die
you can't stop the tears that will no longer come
cupid's fell from grace, swapping his bow for a gun
and now here I stand as the moon lights up the callous skies
surrounded by deceit and pathetic lies
seeking reverence within cigarette smoke, my ignorance deadly to some
caring less and less, I think my time has come
to either forget the past and look to the future ahead
or to wallow in the self-pity that bloats my head
I'm so sorry for everything I've done wrong
I'm selfish, I'm self-loathing, I don't deserve it but for forgiveness I long -
my sanity is twisting, my honesty it crucifies and bends
for it seems any happiness I ever find goes away in the end
I'm not stupid, I know this is my last dance
oh Lord I'm begging you, please, give me another chance
Sep 21, 2016
Sep 21, 2016 at 4:07 PM UTC
These are the nights
in which all that you said
becomes true
and all that you did
becomes justified
These are the nights
in which the lights in my mind
stay on
while the black of the night
***** the luminescence out of all else
These are the nights
in which the future
no longer exists
and the past
becomes all too tangible once again
These are the nights
in which my imagination
crucifies me time and time again
but the rising sun
brings no promise of salvation
forgive him father, for he
knows not what he is
much less what he does
These are the nights
in which he wishes
he didn't
in which he wishes
he wasn't
May 20, 2015
May 20, 2015 at 2:14 AM UTC
When I look into my past it looks like broken mirror
It started out shiny and beautiful
Then the world got a hold on me
I took the beautiful life my God and Savior gave me
And threw it on the floor.....
This world looked so good to me but I only found that I was drowning in an ocean of sand
That mirror is corroded and disgusting
And all I'm left thinking is
Why was I so stupid
So many look at me and say Jesus shines in me
If that's the case why does my past look at me and like to bring me back
Why am I still here
I sometimes wish I lived at the time of the apostle Paul
Or I wish that I would be persecuted or beaten for my faith
Because that is nothing compared to what I deserve...
I wish those shards weren't stabbed in my back but that's where they are lodged
So why can't I be like pilgrim and drop my heavy burden?
Maybe because I'm a coward
Now here I am
At the feet of the cross
I would love to say I'll just put it down by the power of Christ and I'll be on my way
Why is it every time I throw it down it comes chasing after me?
Jesus I need you
I need to drop this guilt
I need to drop this sin
Sometimes I wish you could just give me a heart transplant
Because my heart crucifies you again and again
Day after day
I'm not strong enough
I'm worn
Jesus I can't fight this on my own
I can't win
I can't carry this
All around me are those you used me to love
But after what I've done I wish you would use someone else
I guess that's just one of the awesome things about you
Is where my sin abounds your grace is more.
I need your forgiveness
I need you
Please forgive me my Lord and my God
May 14, 2018
May 14, 2018 at 9:16 PM UTC