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Farah Nov 2022
My mind runs a million marathons at night,
staying on high alert despite turning off the light.

Overdosing on never-ending thought loops caused by my anxiety,
A feeling of entrapment which never flees as it’s right inside of me

Overthinking meaningless conversations with people I’ll never meet again,
How did I come across? I hope I wasn’t too intense or fierce, as I am now & then.

A roundabout of worry accompanied by intrusive thoughts,
Characterised by poor concentration leading me to feel distraught.

Finally I fall into my awaited slumber, relieved to say the least,
Until tomorrow I will see whether my sleep hath been deceased.
Farah Jan 2022
tell me you want me
but only for tonight
& if u mean it, then **** me right
satisfy me inside and keep me warm
*** I can get cold, i need ur support
let’s keep this a secret, we’re sippin on sin
enter inside me n caress my skin
look me in the eyes, hand inside my thighs
consume my body, whisper in my ear
tell me you need me, that I’m your dear
but please be gentle, I’m like a rose petal
im scared if you hurt me, I may become resentful
Farah Jan 2022
sometimes its good to have a break
but one more time for old times sake
a cycle to be broken
but a cycle never cracked

Suffered a bad fall
bashed my head against a white wall
didn’t even feel the pain
but who’s fault is it if not the charming *******
Farah Dec 2021

It’s like I can’t breathe through the night
My chest startin to feel real tight
Anxiety makin it hard to sleep
& no one knows but it cuts real deep

tryna replace old habits with good things
addictions a ***** but I’m tryna forget my sins
& I know this life ain’t meant to be ez
But I can’t stop these thoughts from consumin me

so when I’m on my own I get down
butchu gotta understand I lost my crown
now I’m tryna get through the pain
imma long lost soul been driven insane
Farah Jun 2019
cage: a structure of bars or wires in which birds or other animals are confined

Caged inside my own mind of worry
I can’t decide if it’s me or everyone around me
Constant paranoia eats away at me while i run from the darkness that surrounds my lungs, smoking the feeling of pain that my self-inflicted thoughts do to my gums
I’m always down, I don’t know why
I try to stay up but instead the anger triggers an evil eye
the most reliable thing I’ve ever had is music
something that drowns the thoughts of aspiring to be anorexic
denial traps my family and everyone around me
I’m suffering in silence to let them move on positively
back to the perception of a fat brown girl
I can’t believe my mum taught me to shake the feelings, to not eat the twirl
I can’t help it that I feel imprisoned within a safe home
i can’t help it that I diagnose myself with every possible syndrome
it’s easier to know there’s a label of identification than to be unaware and completely oblivious
I know, this trait of mine I don’t usually share as it’s cruel and hideous
but I just want to be loved
instead, I get a kick out of being crushed
sometimes I like the feeling of loneliness
it helps me feel as though there isn’t an emptiness
it digs at my stomach like the punches I threw at myself as I suffered from throwing my fingers back and gagging for food
just to control the unknown and how I really felt about our family feud
Farah May 2019
We used to stand in our tiny kitchen
You would make jokes and I would listen
We’d talk about my friends, people and god
I would be captivated and you would patiently nod

You cooked up the best food, curries and salads
I watched and observed and sometimes sang ballads

We’d go on drives to our local store
Listening to music, It doesn’t happen anymore
I’d jump out the car while u sat and waited
I’d pick the best chocolate while you stayed seated

Then we’d go home and I would make tea
We’d sit on the sofa and stare at the tv
I miss you so much but you’re not even dead
Parents get divorced and now your enjoying someone’s else’s bed
Don’t get me wrong, I love your new wife
but I’m sad that you decided to change this life

Now I lay in the bed of my childhood house
You’ve decided to sell it and move in with you’re spouse

I don’t expect you to understand but I miss you with mum
I know you deserve love but I can no longer trust anyone
dad got re-married and moved away
Farah Feb 2019
I cant even ******* write poetry anymore.  for **** sake.
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