Lawrence Hall 1d
Old Codger Wearing a Confederate Face Mask
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com  
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

                                     ­          Clinic Waiting Room

Voices:

Morbidly obese old codger wearing a Confederate-flag face mask
Old codger with a My Pillow moustache
Old codger wearing a camouflage baseball cap
Old codgeress #1
Old codgeress #2

Auctor:

Old codger (me)

I been here since 1020 the longer we wait
the more money they get they’re just in it
for the money what’s your Medicare supplemental?
America ain’t what it used to be
there ain’t no doubt about that I done had
the covid and the shots these people
been in and out and I’m still here
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE thank you I SAID
‘THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!’ Yeah he’s kind of
hard of hearing THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!!!!
Yeah okay HOO-RAH! yeah HOO-RAH! you was
a Marine too? 29 Palms it raining there too?
my (something) levels was up my m.o.s.
kept me out of Viet-Nam I was in Parris Island
thank you for your service I blame George Bush
George Soros and these here public schools...

Said the Codger in the corner
Of the pub at  Avonlea
“There’s a missus, who I’d kisses
If she’d sit upon me knee”.

“But I’m eighty, like me matey
And I’m too inclined to ***.
So I’ll leave her to another
And keep my faithful Tennessee!”

Said the barman to the Codger
“Well you see here my old friend!
You’ve been sitting in the corner
Since ya leg would no more bend”.

“You’ve been drinkin all me whisky
Yep your love from Tennessee!
Don’t ya know ya have a misses
And she’s looking out for ye.”

Said the Codger to the barman
“Mate now you just let me be
I’ve paid ya all good money
For me love from Tennessee!”.

“And me misses whom I kisses
Who is waiting home for me
Is all weathered, worn and weary
And she naggeth poor old me.”

Said the lady at the counter
Who’d not sit upon his knee.
“Mister if you loved and kissed her
She’d no longer naggeth ye!”

Said the Codger to the lady
“Well Ok! Now let me see
I’d go home to see me misses
But will not leave my Tennessee!”

A bored old codger from the East
One day ate a barrel of yeast
He began to perspire
The prelude to expire
But he rose quite well, at least!

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com  
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

                                               Clinic Waiting Room

Voices:

Morbidly obese old codger wearing a Confederate-flag face mask
Old codger with a My Pillow moustache
Old codger wearing a camouflage baseball cap
Old codgeress #1
Old codgeress #2

Auctor:

Old codger (me)

I been here since 1020 the longer we wait
the more money they get they’re just in it
for the money what’s your Medicare supplemental?
America ain’t what it used to be
there ain’t no doubt about that I done had
the covid and the shots these people
been in and out and I’m still here
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE thank you I SAID
‘THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!’ Yeah he’s kind of
hard of hearing THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!!!!
Yeah okay HOO-RAH! yeah HOO-RAH! you was
a Marine too? 29 Palms it raining there too?
my (something) levels was up my m.o.s.
kept me out of Viet-Nam I was in Parris Island
thank you for your service I blame George Bush
George Soros and these here public schools...

'Where are all the rough men?'
Said the codger to the son
'For it's time we were home again
And daylight's almost done

For though this park is fair
To look upon in light
The shadows truly fill the air
With goons who long to fight

Where are all the rough men
Who used to walk this park?
For it's time we were home again
Before it grows to dark

They're gone, i tell you lad,
And we'll never get them back
And you should be remorseful
And mournful for our lack

For now we're watched by half-men
They're eunuchs one and all
How can these skinny jeans stand
When the blows begin to fall?

Show me the thugs of yester-year,
Those bold and brawny men
Who'd hear the war drums pounding
And come running glen to glen

Bring me back my brothers,
And these villains one and all
Would run back to their mothers
And seek no other brawl

But my eyesight now forsakes me
And my hand forgets its wrench
And my legs will not allow me
To go far beyond this bench

Were that i was sprier
And still retained my brawn
But now I simply tire
And the last rough man is gone'

I know from my past, gym class
From locker rooms, I learned fast
That lots of guys have winners
But my sausage is from Vienna.
I got a little bump, a tiny little lump,
Like a hamster has taken a dump.
Nothing bulges my shorts at the crotch.
Not much there for anyone to watch.

But our society puts the emphasis
On just how big your business is.
If you have a tiny peter, my friend
Many kinds of applause will end.
Go read the writing on the walls,
Because you will inherit the catcalls
And no matter how much you moan
They come through no fault of your own.

Regarded as less than a man; sick
Or perverted to have a small ****.
As too often I have been told
Since as a kid and not very old
Amid laughter and cruel jests
I have learned a big **** is best.
No matter it’s something I can’t change,
Apparently a small ***** is strange.

In time I left behind those taunts
As I left behind adolescent haunts.
The pain has become only a taint;
The scars of bullies with no restraint,
But I am sure I never will fully be
Free of their thoughtless bigotry
As I reach the age of an old codger
Dealing with life with a not so jolly roger.

Fresh innocence,
Power aflower,
Baby experience
Your first hour.

Unaware, curious,
Shine 'n shower,
Child experience
Your second hour.

Optimistic,
Visionary mystic,
Youth experience
Your third hour.

Tired 'n bitter,
Lemon-sour,
Man experience
Your fourth hour.

Body bent o'er,
Spirit aflutter,
Codger experience
Your fifth hour.

When I was a little lassie my Grandad and I
were very fond of each other indeed
(although not sexually I must add
before you suspicious buggers start complaining).

Over the hills and fields we used to wander just like, er,
...let me think of a nice metaphor here...
er, like a man and his granddaughter or
like a couple of not so lonely clouds.

Oh how joyfully we would seek out rare birds’ nests
so as to smash the eggs to bits in a frenzy of joy,
which we both enjoyed a lot as it was, er, reet good fun
and a statement of individual choice we both appreciated.

Sometimes we would noisily take a steaming **** together
(although ABSOLUTELY NO ****** contact ever took place
I really must reiterate that for all you ***-abuse-obsessives,
but he had a stupendously big ***** for an old codger).

When we got home in the evening dear old Grandad
would usually make us a nice *** of builders' tea
and some ****** great doorstop sandwiches, but
even at that tender age I would have opted for a good stiff whisky.

Or, come to think of it, a large glass of chilled Chardonnay,
and a plateful of smoked salmon or some oysters,
but the old ******* was teetotal (at least in public) -
either that or just plain ******* mean as Hell.

Darling wizened Granny would make us some toast
out of leftover stale Mother’s Pride white bread,
but, being half blind, the silly fat old cow usually managed
to burn it to a sodding inedible cinder.

On Sundays they would get the gramophone out
and put on some tango 78 records
as they loved Latin American dancing and a good old *****
of each other's flaccid, age-withered buttocks.

How happily I remember the old couple tangoing away
just like a couple of wrinkled whirling ****** dervishes
to 'La Cumparsita' recorded by Mantovani & His Tipica Orchestra
on 20th June 1940 and issued on the Decca label.

They also taught me how to do the rumba
(oompah, oompah, stick it up your jumpah)
and I became quite an expert at the Cuban samba
(which my beloved Grandad wittily called the *****).

How joy-filled were those faraway times of my golden childhood.
but one day I went round only to find an ambulance outside
and the paramedics told me the old pair had been found dead in bed,
their boudoir resembling an abattoir at closing time.

Grandad had bashed the old *****’s brains out
with a red-hot poker during some depraved *** session
and then shoved it eighteen inches up his own *******
which must surely have stung his piles quite a bit.

But what a creative way to go - I bet he danced a bit
as the steaming poker seared his poor back passage.
And thus my grandparents ascended up into the sky -
may they stay forever young in the company of the angels.

Let me again emphasis our friendship was purely platonic
because this was in the rare old times of yesteryear
when widespread paedophilia was not yet a gleam in the eye
of some trash newspaper editor eager to engage with the plebs.

I feel like a small frightened child, one who has become lost in the deep dark woods of every child’s nightmares, cold, alone, well past “losing one’s cool” and just precious inches away from “flipping one’s ****,” the only things that I possess a flashlight that I cannot figure out how to switch on, a compass that only points backwards and a magical, wish granting genie that only speaks in a language that I have never heard and therefor do not  understand while at the same time am not understood, whose only option to improve his situation is to sit in one spot and wait for help to arrive but what if it doesn’t  so I am forced to action to fashion crude tools and build a shelter and hunt and cook and survive because no one is going to find me and I am not going to find my way out, so I must live in the forest of nightmares and darkness...
...and then I begin to wonder if that small child is not a child at all, but an aging man in a worn bathrobe, alone in a darkened room in an asylum, sitting under a table with a bed sheet hanging over the sides like a makeshift tent, trying desperately to find the “ON” button of an empty pill bottle while I wait for a wound out, wind up clock to find North during the stock market numbers on the local Hispanic radio station, forever stuck in the nightmare forest created by his own mind, which is somehow less terrifying than the reality of his unreality...
...because it is beginning to become very muddled in both of those places and I am beginning to lose track of his self so here looks like a good place to sit down and wait for help to not arrive and over there a good spot to build a temporary cemetery plot to rest my weary hours and while away the bones because unless I figure out a way to sort his self out, I will forget to send for help that I am tired of waiting for and the seconds in the dark that were not there a moment ago and may not be here now will be gone forever when the clock strikes South-East and I am left alone again with only a snot nosed codger and a loony old brat, looking out a window that directly faces a brick wall, watching and praying for the sun to rise on its horizon.

The city tosses, turns, and finally rises,
Surrendering to daylight and giving itself over
to the bustling movements of its citizens.
At the crosswalk, an old codger in  rags holds a panhandling sign,

And nearby a bearded hippy plays guitar.
The sound of beggars, musicians, bored businessmen,
And all the teaming masses drift through back alleys,
And float through the air like the heady perfume of car exhaust.

Each street, each block, each break in the never-ending flow of man’s own personal jungle.
Brings to mind stepping into a whole other world.
Here, in one such strange nexus, a building likened to a castle,
Stares across a narrow stretch of road at an abandoned building,
Cracked broken and peeling, tattooed with graffiti from a hundred vagabond artists.
It conjoins directly to a new building,
the fresh, well maintained walls of which offer striking contrast.

The confused, confounding nature of the true jungle is in this manmade facsimile
More well reflected than anywhere else in the world.
The muggy air rings with life, the heat is stifling,
And for all that it has a strong allure.
This city, and all cities.
For in every corner, at every street, life bleeds from a city.
It grows from the crack like a flowering ****,
And in truth,
Is a flower born in the streets of a city, atop the stem of a dandelion
Any less a flower than a rose from the heart in the woodland?
To me, that a flower could be so brazen, so proudly out of place,
Makes it all the more a thing of beauty.

Here in my middle ages, I look at the young men, as they court
and the young girls, as they are courted
they are so full of life, and so empty of wisdom
and yet, so full of life
I feel my life waning
I feel the life draining, out of the pond, and into the river
But the old codger on the street-corner
craggy, dried man, drained and empty
He cheers the young men on
with a toothy grin and a wink he nods at the boys as they follow
that girl down the street with their eyes, and their hearts.
the old flower-seller lady urges the young man
and she watches the young girl, and sighs
remembering her own first rose, brought to her by a young man, perhaps just like this one
brought with a stumbling shyness, by a boy who knew she loved flowers
but didn't know why
and didn't care why
except, that something about that flower
might make her think of him, and feel happy when she did
because while he wanted her to think of him, he wanted her to be happy too
it would be another 47 years before he would understand that he really just
wanted her to be happy
and said so, with his last breath
She sighs, knowing this is how it is
and knows how to be happy watching another boy
making a fool of himself without knowing why
because he will know why, when it becomes important, and in the meantime
will do what he can without knowing why

And I, here in my middle ages, still worry about what I don't know
I worry about what I can no longer do
I feel, here in my middle ages, stuck in the middle
neither wise, nor full of youthful vigor
but I watch the codger winking
and the flower-lady sighing her sighs
and watching them wink and sigh, I lose my fear
Time will pass me by, and in its passing
will teach me to wink, and sigh, and to not miss being young
and stupid
and so full of life that there was no room for knowing
why the happiness that sits by my side
sipping her coffee with me, watching me, watching them,
knowing that I watch, and think, happy with the show of things she cannot see, going on in my mind
knowing why her happiness is so important to me.
I hope I tell her in a breath sooner than my last
I hope to tell her with a wink, that her happiness is more important than mine
I want to hear her sigh, before it means she misses me

I’d jump at the chance to ride shotgun
on Henry’s medicine wagon
rolling from city to village
hawking 'Stickin’ Salve' and 'Oil of Gladness'.

We’d ride into Elmira’s County Fair
and set up over by the lake.
I’d fix old Diamond a pail of oats
and draw her a bucket of water.
while great, great grandpa
squeezed on his Union coat
and arranged his potions on the shelves.

Henry’s voice would boom
across the water like a megaphone
and people would gather close -
lured in by the old codger's
hypnotic banter of miracle cures -
and perilous Civil War battles.
  
He’d swear on his mother’s lumbago
that 'Stickin’ Salve' works just as fine
as the lead and powder
he’d fired at Cedar Mountain.

The folks would shake with mirth
whenever he bellowed,
“I’m Henry Howard from Bunker Hill -
Never worked and never will."
Women would tug their husband's sleeves
and they’d bring me pennies and dimes.

After dusk we’d tally the coins
and latch down the wagon for the night
then sleep side by side on the grass
beneath the New England stars.

At sunrise I'd wipe his brow -
to ease him gently back
from the thunder of enemy shells
still firing in his restless sleep.

We'd cook up some bacon and biscuits,
hitch Diamond up to the wagon
then head south through the rolling hills
along the Tioga valley.
We’d breathe in the fresh country air
and tip our caps to the farmers.

If Henry would come to tap my shoulder
some promising morning in spring
and whisper "the wagon's hitched outside,"
I’d go in a Tioga minute.

*December,  2006

You understand what suits you,
Choosing from tailors present or past,
Preferring not the uniform.
Whose robes to **** this trip?
Adding their layers to the shadow below.

Fashion a style, accordingly-
Another fearless, determined Oxford man
In a pink suit.

Style a fashion, apathetically-
A filthy, disheveled codger, trudging
From one unmanageable apartment to another,
Writing music in his mind, never hearing it,
Changing the world forever.

Or,
Owning only a pair of each-
Black shoes, tights, and tops,
And seventeen brightly colored scarves,
Wear your heart on your sleeve.
The most priceless accessory for spending
Retirement in Somalia with the children.

Being choosy in dress and shadows,
Remember seasons None too original,
Choose fear or love.
Suit yourself.

Martha had this thing
about the Crucified.
The image, the cross,
the stretched out arms.

The one in the convent
school along by the chapel
always caught her eye.
Stood there staring.

Get a move on Martha,
the nun said. Don’t gape so.
Or the image in the dining
room stuck up on the wall

above the abbess’s table.
Painted on she thought.
Not the same. Her mother
had the one her mother

gave her on her deathbed.
Old wood and plaster.
The plaster peeling from
the hands of the Crucified.

Martha gaped at Him,
at His wounds, at the wound
in His side where the spear
went in. Forgive them for

they know not. They did so,
the *******, she muttered,
putting her fingers on the wound
in the side. She had an ebony

rosary in her skirt pocket. Black
Christ on the small ebony cross.
She fingered in her pocket, said
the prayers, felt the stiff body

on the cross. Sometimes she
took it out and kissed it; the ebony
body, the head, the arms. Once
she had a cross around her neck,

silver, small, given by some old
codger. She felt it warm between
her small *******. Lost it when she
took it off to wash and it slipped

down the plughole in the convent bog.
She knew her mother had this wooden
crucifix on her chest of drawers.
A dark wood, a fleshy plastered Christ,

nails through and hands and feet.
She kissed the hands when her mother
was out, her lips touching the smooth
plaster, the eyes closed, the feel of

smoothness on flesh. Not the real
Christ of course. Least not yet.
She’d wait her turn. The real thing.
See what death and Heaven bring.

The old priest sat
in the dark of the
confessional. A girl
had entered on the
other side and knelt.

A rustle of clothing,
breathing, a cough.
He was prepared for
the list of sins, the
the soft voice verbal

sprouting, the usual
schoolgirl misdemeanours.
Yes my child? He said.
Mary on the other
side stared at the grille,

tried to make out which
was the priest. Bless me
Father she began, then
the list ran. The priest
placed his hands over

his ears. The list was long,
indelicate, touching on
the obscene. He fumbled
with his beads, tried to
make out the voice,

the owner, which girl?
He thought, peering into
the grille, his eyes searching
through the semi dark.
Mary pushed her knees

together; she sensed the
need to ***. She knelt holding
herself in, pushed her hands
between thighs. How long
was the old codger going to be?

She mused. The priest coughed.
Sniffed, tried to discover the
scent. He said the usual words,
about trying to avoid the occasion
of sin, have faith, and so forth

uttered in a strained voice.
He peered hard. The outlined
figure fidgeted, moved from side
to side. Never in his born days
had he.  He uttered the absolution,

made a sign of the cross. Then
she was gone. The light there
then not there. A smell of sin?
What was it? No, not *****?

Wanna see how empty I can get.
I can leak out all feeling.
No nerves left.

I taste and stiff every person I see.
I cringe crunch the cartilage of every baby I meet.


Heartless and artless old codger.
No posture.

Cramming damming the spam filled sandwich,
of ancient architects.

The tall statue of an empty shell, old malt glass,
unfilled.
Spewed upon the face of mother earth leaving acid mildew.

Shower of rain with a pH of less than 7,
maybe to the negatives, raising havoc on the crop lands.

If my plants would be watered.
I would whole.
I could stand upon the ground lain staked like a scarecrow.

I wish the emptiness protected all that I loved.
I could forever be the watering can providing my molecules with spirits'
Dust.

The aluminum in my body.
Will calcify or solidify (whichever's easiest)
Spontaneously, to create the fluids of osmosifiying mechanical dilution,
Into greater things.

you know one thing i hated as a kid, is not being included, because every kid

wants to be included, i love life, i love to PARTY, i love being normaL I hate nothing

nothing at all, you see i had this friend named patrick back in those days, and he

never yelled at me, i hear him  yelling at me  in my head, but that is the cosmos, you

see i tried to be like him, because he helped me more than anyone else, took me to jimmy barnes

concerts, and i liked him, and he took me to nye parties, and we certainly partied all night

even when i crashed over his house, cause i didn’t want to show dad how ****** i was, pat

never yelled like a *****, but i turned out to be a ***** in the end, because i had too much

creative energy i had to get rid of, and i was a ****, until i started seeing carers, they have all

helped me by making me understand that he ain’t my daddy, but i still wanted to see him

but i have to realise, we are adults now, and we have to grow up, when i am watching chris rock

i am hearing nonsense voices of my mates hating black people but i learnt from the messiah that

black people are good comedians and good athletes, there is a lot of knowledge in black people

more so than in white people, blacks are struggling day in and day out, while us whites get it easy

and i am saying patrick was the nicest white person i have ever met after meeting a few aussies at

the cricket, i liked patrick back then because he helped me understand a bit about my family, to whom

i used to get cranky with, well, mainly he was showing me what my family was doing with them, ya know

the other kids, anyway, i have no ideas what patrick is doing now, but i hope he is working in a top high class job

because i am an artist, and writer and youtube entertainer, when i go to bed, i ain’t like canary bird, and i ain’t

a koomarri man, i just fall asleep on the bed with the radio on to keep me company, and when i yell at my voices

i am basically saying, i AM THE BIG PARTY PERSON, I PROVIDE PARTIES FOR ALL, i have moved out now

so come on DUDES, because going out is fun, patrick taught me that, my head is saying, he didn’t wanna do that

because i don’t like yelling at people, i prefer if i yell, i yell at the cosmos, because bailey from the show NEIGHBOURS

‘when he yelled, he looked like a CRAZY person, making the man say ‘YOU’RE CRAZY BAILS’ and that man who said

that told bailey he was crazy, reminded me of patrick, in the way of saying, patrick was a very nice person, he didn’t have to yell

if i meet patrick again, i will explain i am an artist and writer and youtube ****** and then i will tell patrick, i have always liked the computer

it’s just that i like going out having fun too, i have been thrown out of houses or flats, but patrick never did, so that makes him

number 1, out of school chums who i mucked with at school, and i like the joke by chris rock, men can’t go backwards sexually while

women can’t go backwards in lifestyle, i know we said imagine what lylle would do, here, imagine what lyle would, there, imagine

what lyle would in any place, yeah mate yeah, i am cool, i remember playing heavy metal music loud with patrick, as well and playing

basketball as well,  now patrick, whether he liked christmas or not, he still put his xmas tree up, i can tell you one thing though, i am

a buddhist who loves christian holidays, and i had fun teasing the old army men, who fought and died for this country, you see

this year is the 100 th year of gallipoli, and it’s an oldie thing to tease with music now, because young army codgers are in it

to be there for their country, patrick is a heavy metal ******, mainly liking jimmy barnes and me, as cronus put dad in barnesy’s family

as his little granddaughter betty, so dad, the old army codger from way back can learn the nice parts of jimmy barnes

i remembered patrick singing when your love is gone, and i liked him singing it, but i was looking at his legs, i was CRAZY

because i shouldn’t look at people’s legs, i am not gay, i am a man with problems, i have changed from all that nonsense of my minds past

i am now the new and improved brian allan, but i realise that patrick might not like me saying this, but he helped me, by not getting cranky AT me

i just want to make peace with my good mate, opatrick, because, he might have been ******* with my criime

and because of that crime, and because he was nice, when i saw he was cranky, i left him to head down the mall to be big bad brian

and the best way to get a guy over to a girl’s house, is put a ***  on the stove and you will have every man breaking down your door

you see, i was hearing crazy teasing in my head, and patrick’s voice was saying, is he trying to be like mr allan, i thought he was trying

to be like us, tease him, fight him, bully him around, and patrick still doesn’t know that channel 9’s karl stefanovic reminded me of patrick’s cool kid

to my mind but i have to tread to carefully there because patrick might have been trying to be like craig from kingswood country, he might hate

karl stefanovic, it’s just he reminded me of patrick, what is wrong with visions, pat might hate karl stefanovic, well his cool kid does anyway

and my cool kid is ***** hogan and sam marshall, patrick is a young dude figure

I'm a graying aged gunfighter
Time to get out of the game
I can not see to shoot my gun
I can not see to aim

I used to be the best there was
The top of every list
Now I can't hit a **** barn door
I shot at one and missed

I could out draw anyone
Who faced me on the street
Now, I'm more than likely
To put a bullet 'tween my feet

I play a little poker now
Spend my days just passing time
I break even mostly
The way I play, well, that's a crime

No one round here knows me
They don't know about my past
To them I'm just a codger
I don't do one **** thing fast

I noticed things were changing
Ten years back I'd say
I had a gun fight in Dodge City
And it didn't go my way

I threw down with some punk kid
He was drunk and really ******
I got my gun stuck in my holster
He fell down, he shot, he missed

I walked to him now laying
In the street, out cold, not dead
I took his gun and holster
And then went home to bed

A gunfighter of substance
Would have killed me where I stood
Was I lucky he was drunk then?
Or was I losing it for good?

I packed my stuff up in the morning
I left the town later that night
The next fighter might be sober
And I'd not survive that fight

I took off for the desert
Made plans just where I would go
A state where I could hide out
Where my past, no one would know

On the way I stopped and practiced
Shot some cactus and some trees
I was shooting though at rabbits
I can't survive here eating these

One day, a rogue coyote
Came and took me by surprise
I shot a tree, it fell on him
I aimed between his eyes

The sooner I got settled
The safer I would feel
Too much longer in the desert
I'd end up some varmints tasty meal

I rode on in to where I am
I can't tell you just what town
I've got to keep it secret
Or I may just get shot down

I have a small room at the hotel
I play cards to pay the rent
I speak with a slightly muddled accent
I try to be a southern gent

I've been here now for near six months
The town is growing fast
So, my time here might be cut short
With the future, comes my past

For now I just play poker
An old gunfighter at heart
One day I know they'll find me
I'll go to boot hill in a cart

I'm an aged old gunfighter
There's not many still around
I'm hiding now from my last gunfight
That will put me six feet in the ground.

I stop to think, and then realize; that time has raced ahead
And at some point, left me behind; to wither, till I’m dead

These days now slow, monotonous; drag on for so **** long
They seem to me, so arduous; I need a drink, to carry on

My mind then seems to wander, without inhibitions all around
To look back in perspective; or examine still, what is left there to be found

Considering I’ve amassed, all this erudition; it should at least, be passed on
So, I’ll share some with you now; before everything I know, suddenly, is gone

Inside me, lives a vibrant young man; who is begging to be freed
But, if I let him lose; who’s to say, to where it would all lead

When I was young, life seemed uncomplicated; so I made my way with ease
With old age, much harder, far slower, more painful, and with no guarantees

Back then, planning how to have fun and making friends; seemed to fill my needs
But now, enjoyment comes from the smallest activity; and friends, drop off like weeds            
  
As a young man “CAREFUL” didn’t come easy; it was a struggle, centered in my crotch
Now I find, to be careful as I age; it’s the very place, my doctor makes me watch

Having a wife, during senescence, truly is a blessing; as our prowess tends to diminish
As an old codger, I love to get things started; but always need that extra hand, to finish

I was proud of my manhood; back in those days, when I was fit and young
But now, with all this muscle loss; it’s my chicken skin, that is well hung

Break the bond, with your wife, and your ***** are in the rack
You can do the same, with your kids; but they, keep coming back

And having children, brings such joy; so enjoy them while they’re young
Cause in their teens, no matter what; it’s like being dragged, thru knee high dung
                              
But, spending time with the grandchildren; is the best thing on this earth
Somehow, they make a place, in your heart; and give you all they’re worth

Teach them but one lesson; which some of us, through time have learned
Work real hard, for what you want, and “SHARE”, what you have earned

Women were not put on this earth, to be controlled, or outwitted; by a man
So keep those opinions to yourself; and your big mouth shut, if you can

All that money, which we have saved; we really should have blown
Can’t take it with us, but spoiled the kids; so they should really earn their own

So, do we put it in a chest, at the end of a rainbow and let a Leprechaun hold the keys
“NO”, we invest with a bank, so they can make their millions, by charging us those fees

Besides, we won’t be judged; on how well we managed, all our earthly wealth
Which is good, because I hid mine in that chest; and it was stolen, by that fucken Elf
“I bet that would **** your doodle”

Don’t scrimp and save, in old age; we’ve worked hard, for everything we’ve got
Now, take the time to spend it, and enjoy it; just leave a little, for that plot

We should enjoy the ride, while we’re here; so in the end, we are contented
After all, it’s not the speed, nor the deed; but is the outcome as intended

Friends and neighbors die around me; and I’m not sure what I should do, or say
Move away, buy their house, pray the force went with them; or, just be more risqué
                                                      
We should do, what we’ve always wanted; not worry, where we’ll go, from that gurney
Count on that saying holding true; “IT’S NOT THE DESTINATION, BUT THE JOURNEY”

So now that I am at, the senectitude of my life; I still don’t know its meaning
Was it all about, ******* off my wife; or should have I, helped out with the cleaning

I find a daily snooze, is so very good, any time of day; it does not matter when
Days become much shorter; while the nights, don’t know where you have been

To be “RIGHT” all the time, is absolutely of no benefit; unless, it’s to change your life
Just like, making the truth prevail, is of no avail; if you’re trying to convince your wife

Believe in GOD, if you feel the need; may HIS blessings, forever on you flow
But if not, while on this earth, show only kindness; for your *** is held in escrow

Think of it this way; you do good, you’ll go to heaven; you do bad, you’ll go to hell
But if you do, nothing bad, nor anything good; then in which place should you dwell

Never hold back your thoughts, until you compose your words; before you speak
Your long time partner, will cut in first; and while you’re thinking, they will it critique

“See how I threw in partner here; no gender bias”
“I’m trying to be, androgynous and not too pious”

These days, I don’t get upset, if life goes bad; all things can be forgot or forgiven
Although, I’d just wait; and make **** sure, that first, you’ve gotten even

In the past, things would **** me off; gayety, geniality, sobriety and saying please
“THEY STILL DO”, but now, I must have mellowed; I play along, just so I can tease

I just read, our Prime Minister calls my CPP pension an entitlement..? WELFARE!!
I assumed, “MY MONEY”, was for my retirement; makes me wanna swear

I think I will, swear that is, “******* HARPER”; I worked for it, you just collected it
Now, it’s still mine, isn’t it; so don’t say you’re gifting it to me, you’re full of ****

I discovered, that excessive ***, like excessive alcohol; only ***** up how you think
But, a little *******, and a bit of moderation; prevents your disposition to a shrink

And I never cry, over a little spilled milk anymore; even though, it certainly is a pity
If it bothered me at my age; then I never should have, stopped ******* on that *****

I learned this as well, that all politicians are not bad; but, all of them are greedy
They’re honest, until they discover all their benefits; then, they think they’re needy

As a doyen, I don’t have much to say, on the abuse of ***; or other drugs of choice
It’s only when the pharmacist, won’t fill my prescriptions; that I will raise my voice

Life is hard, and I have tried, to keep up in the race; the world wouldn’t stop and wait
But, I didn’t jump off, cause I’d fall into space; and there, my life would have no weight

Remember also, “the FAD, the BAD, the SAD, and the MAD” each will have their turn
But in life, you must keep smiling, no matter what; “LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH, and LEARN”

Everything will come full circle, both the good and the bad; as I’ve always said
Nothing on this earth is, “WORTH AS MUCH” or “MEANS AS MUCH”, after we are dead
BOEMS BY JA 383                                                     25-02-2015

All this...
O, this shall be his.

He who in well-leaned doorways
And oft-learned corners
Hath resigned any byways
To dream: “A tall order

To rove in the mud
And muck up one's soles”
Says he who would trod
Upon painless goals.

Him safe in his womb,
His wont wooden beams.
Neglect to his comb and
Plume and dusty seeds.

“Who would fret in the rain?”
He asks. “And why suffer venture?”
“I've a cubby! Where's the shame
In my hearth and decanter?”

“I tell you all!” he says
One night, in a fit. “Them's fools!
They that count on the coldness and chance
Of a bleak, backwards world
In despotic hands. Come time,
Come the end- You'll see what I have!”

O, the mites and the mice
And the crumbs and the cracks
And the creaks in the night
And the stock-still plants

And the angles all learned
And the steps all a measure
And every walking turn
And every processed pleasure

And the patterns and ease
With his paper and naps
What is good on the knees
And light on the back

And the age and the greys
And the frustrating lust
And the well-worn ways
And the old codger's fuss

And the twilight come
And the shadows of scythes
And a final look back
Through wondering eyes

And the what-if's and why's
Of the best girl in Eire
And the laughter of kids
In a moistening eye...

And the plain wooden box
And the standard rites
And the empty expanse
Of the graveyard night.

And no crowd and no cries
Just a man and *****
And pile of dirt
Where ol' whats-his-name lays

All this-
O, This shall be his.

                    -c. c. Condry

A creaking, crotchety, crooked old man
walked down a wide, winding path.
He saw a poor pig poised high in a tree,
so he let out a cackling laugh.
“You sweet, silly swine.
How did you get there?
My old puzzled mind must know”.
The plump, pink pig
from his roost in the tree,
raised his head and started to crow.
The old, crafty codger clapped with delight.
“What a weird wild wonder is this!”
“To see such sights at this time in my life
is surely a cause for bliss.”
“Maybe a wicked wind whisked you there.”
He laughed as he spun round and round.
“Or might Mama eagle, on her way home,
  dropped you where you are now?”
The poor pig peered down at the thin, old man
bent in the bold, bright sunlight.
When he heard the man laugh,
the pig got mad,
flew up and popped out of sight.

© 2000 Guy Workman

When you’re old and you’ve stuffed yourself silly
On  everyone’s chocolates and nice things to eat.
Give me a nudge if you please, on your way out
In case I fall asleep and knock myself off the seat,

When you have spent all day in the garden
Cutting lawns and trimming back the odd hedge.
Give me a nudge  on the way out please
Amd leave the keys on the ledge

On Saturday night, the musuc beckons you
Your hips pivot like Elvis and you have feet like Rogers
Give me a nudge on the way out
To prove I am not like an old codger

Remember back, yes it was a long time ago
When England and its minions lost their one and only,
Lizzy the Busy, she did get about for an older kind of crow

Flying to her outposts and then in her nineties
Still dragging that old codger about, Philip the Greek
Insulting the natives, well he is a kind of royalty

His odd quip on the colour of somebodies skin,
Never mind how are, what a lovely child and how have you been
She married a corker there, no messing

The lands that carried her name all bowing to her superiority
Many of them just peasants not knowing of her really
From Gibraltar through to Hong Kong where they made her royal tea

Man landed on the moon, remembered for a thousand years
If real or made in a Universal studio
The passing of our Queen so real, some still holding back their tears

Reality strikes when you see what she has left of this once great land
Down to her kids to run this Island of such history
And not left it drift to the sea as if built on sinking sand

Monarchy and Royalty march hand in hand from the times of history
Lets not forget the power that we once held
To be banished away by the politically correct to leave us as a sad story

As she would turn in her grave if this once great power dissolved and died
She may not have said it but her wit and allegiance were British through and through
Grow a backbone and be proud again, and show them at least we tried to be true

JJB

I have waited
with breath baited
far too long for you
to tell me a lie
emotional high
oh, my soul it will soothe
to feel just for once
that I was the one
feel like the hand
that fits in the glove
to be the one
that lights up your night
being the sun
burn away your night

yet again I can see
this will not be
just a lonely old codger
not a gull on the sea
chasing a dream
can never attain
a dance with an angel
to feel young again
a walk through the valley
never hurt any one
can only become stronger
when this day is done.

I appreciate I'm ageing , and I'm glad I'm still alive,
Tell that to my muddled mind, it thinks I'm twenty five,
The driver in the car in front, has grey hair I can see,
Oh hurry up you slow old ***, does not apply to me,
My ageing skin has wrinkles now, it gives me quite a fright,
Mother Nature in her kindness helped, by weakening my sight,
Perhaps I ought to go to Church to kiss some Godly ****,
To ensure safe passage up to heaven, not downwards, when I pass,
I'm really not quite ready yet, to become a sad old codger,
I'm turning into one of those, I've called a *******!
In truth I'm happy in my mind, but one thing I'd like to change,
Ideally to LOOK twenty five, yet maintain the knowledge gained.

We were both either in the right or wrong place at the same time, the old codger in the straw hat and I.

And, I’m not looking to write, tell, or think of any other stories about my mother, whom had died.

Nevertheless, here we are at the FastGas on Frederick Avenue.

And, as he pays for fuel he starts telling the clerk and myself about the trouble he has with numbers.

“I just lost my wife of 47 years,” he says.

“I’m sorry to hear this,” I reply.

“I remember looking at the clock in the kitchen just after she had died. I couldn’t read it.”

“Hmmm…”

(Because I couldn’t think of anything better to say.)

“It was like it didn’t make sense anymore. It was like nothing made sense anymore.”

I could relate, but didn’t say so.

“Yeah, I’m 74 years old, and if I died tomorrow that would be just fine.”

“You miss your partner fiercely, yeah?” I asked rhetorically.

He nodded reverently and handed the clerk three $20 bills.

“I don’t know what pump my van is on and all I did was pump til it stopped…
Take whatever you need for us to be squared up.”

The lady behind the counter did as she was asked.

The codger thanked her, collected his change, turned to leave.

“Your partner will wait for you. You still have some stuff to do here for awhile.
It’s okay that numbers don’t make sense anymore. It’s okay if a lot of **** has stopped making sense. You’ve got people that’ll steer you right, I’m sure.”

The clerk nodded.
I winked at her.

He nodded, sighed, stepped into the cooling air outside.

I stopped to light a cigarette.
I smoked and thought about how, in spite of everything, it all still made sense.

When I looked up, all that was left of that old fellow’s van was a plume of exhaust.

Even that made sense.

At least I hoped so.

*
-JBClaywell
©P&ZPublications 2019

Gynecology appeals to the rooting instinct and not just among pigs,
apartment-dwellers too crave the spotlight especially in cheap digs
A tree puts strength in its cambium membrane, seeds, bark & twigs
whilst outgrowing the imperilment of remaining grounded as sprigs
It was not long before the Rolling Stones were being paid for gigs,
in the day when greasy Guineas plugged sheenies & cultivated figs,
decades before sainted negroes thrived as reactionary brillos & nigs
when a schweinehund on par with Club of Rome's lard-*** Al Gore
was realistic enough to accept his natural vocation as a male *****
even though no Avon salve could rescue him from being still sore,
he collected for prostitutional services that there existed no bill for,
while at Sea World Shamu can't fit through a pinniped or seal door,
as whale flesh ain't no antidote for pill-heads on America's pill tour
Keep whacking the side of your head to hammer out doubt till sure
you become of religious piety while acting out a radio-active story
that destroys tumors and fecundity while rewarding war-won glory,
for critical menticide administered to each Margaret Thatcher Tory,
to render brains slack so that each id's reduced to a formless slurry,
and made denser & dumber than the dumb-*** mind of Ann Curry,
who sits around picking fleas off her pet rats calmly with no worry
like a pederast whose name is Marion but likes to be called Murray
because of thickset hair that was as curly as Bill Clinton's was furry
it made Hillary's perverse predilection into a ****-emergency hurry
as she faced extortion rackets entailing mucho homosexy potpourri
It's I.T.T., A.T. & T., F.P. & L. and A. & P. in lieu of slave-holder
In a demi-godly role of being everyplace looking over my shoulder
Like advice taken to heart by a ***** the tenth time you told her
On the occasion of the hundredth time that a ****** **** sold her
Put down that rifle and also that cup as there are doggedly two ratty
trees of wood: wood I stole & wood I shoplifted as doggy eats pup
Congratulations *******, you won the Nobel prize for shutting up
Move from a hovel & put down that shovel as there are 2 unkindly
kinds of wood: stolen & discounted as my rabid ***** eats her pup
****** Mary Jane Christmas to Quakers winning gifts for rutting up
Return my shovel and **** a guppy as there are 2 hunks of wood:
wood I stole & wood shoplifted as a dog ***** eats a hungry puppy
Cheers cancer-ridden surgeon, here's the Shaw prize for cutting up
The tall first wife, who was fleet of feet, was the easiest to book for
she preferred rat tail over bat wing and won as a dream to cook for
she hid herself very obviously therefore she wasn't hard to look for
her manifold athletic talents made her the leanest witch to hook for
Give me your hirsute/textile/hombre love you lovely hairy rag man,
with your pointy nose, unlimbered leg & warts from Larry Hagman
who from the horse's mountable side snuck up like an airy stag ram
Don't take what little's left via state Santa Christmas merry bag ban
Let's dress like women in debt at the oldest Chuck Berry drag stand
My happiness is easily seen in blood-letting cirques as corpuscular
while my rippling backwards frontage is of a physique so muscular
that it is known by fat aunt Joan as socked-in and highly avuncular
In icy Florida I pine for Klondike my favorite Alaskan lesbian lover
who, in our gay igloo, resembled that big oily ****** Danny Glover
whose **** buddy Mel Gibson made him half less pockless gaining
☹a little more of plenty above Kenai's northern-lit blinding darkness,
and punctuated by those empty promises of ****-driving starkness
that were dogged by monster sightings quite common to Loch Ness
where **** Welshmen smoke Scottish-spiced cigarillos smockless
Fear not as chronically-starved people are traditionally not so tough
so feed the hungry & while they are eating steal their bags and stuff
as unarmed Cymry won't do more than storm off in a Goidelic huff,
akin to a Tom Jones hissy fit of ***-wriggling dancing and gay fluff
This normal man wonders: How much public ******* is enough?
Pushing Fukushima scenarios beyond the point of a no-return bluff
and extraneous of a federal Continuity of Government powder puff
while parked on a decrepitly-reliable-ever-burgeoning-lard-*** duff
white men, like coal miners, mine mineable depths of Filipina ****
gynecologically like the average gynecology enthusiast off the cuff,
rejecting Bicol pathogenetic carpet chaw to dip Copenhagen *****,
a sprinkling 'tween lip & gum proves that no slanted ****'s too tuff
A trans-orbital lobotomy's necessitated when plants are root-bound,
Hello Addisonian crisis dysfunction when adrenal glands are found
insufficient when production of adrenaline is diagnosed as unsound
Mormons note the absent look of foremen in the Book of Mormon
and an absence of the Book of Mormon in the outlook of foremen
You hid it 'cause I can't find it every elsewhere a package for string
this catastrophe that threatens tragedy above the tryst below a fling
With cords knotted tightly around something tumorous I won't sing
It is the chlorine that cancels detergent in that electric washer thing
beneath cellar steps that David Niven's wife fell down while hiding
I lost her you found her, it's a dollar for riding plus a fee for finding
all broads blinded to inequity and to chick Nazis' unguided guiding
Oh Lord with such ease the slippery have slid into slipshod sliding!
The frailties of free men're exploited by N.S.A.'s jingoistic deriding
General Ike exposed the military-industrial-congressional complex
which strikes against the citizenry by venomous rattle snake reflex
faster than a dope-crazy Marilyn Monroe could reach for a Kleenex
thru curvatures in a third-dimensional, spatially-pornographic helix
that approximated the Mexi-milkers of actriz: la doña María Félix
rutting elephants in musth must respect advisory: kneel-harm-****,
to honor the moon-hoaxing memory of chronic liar Neil Armstrong
as obviously for **** Rosie O'Donnell her gay meal alarm's wrong
Johns familiarized themselves with Lillian Russell by buyin' ** Lil
as masochists meet masochistic needs with movies of Ryan O'Neal
Sadists satiate sadistic surges sharing sermons sold Séamus Ó Néill
& beheld-redemptive pleasures for patrons of free mass soul appeal
I'm nailed in my sub-par carpentry by all do-gooders of the nail ban
to the point where I'm willing to mail my big sister to the mail man
who's part & parcel of a mail-fraud plot & brother's can't-fail plan
Escaped & uncaught I will be no prison monkey's cell-mate-jail-fan
'Cause shorts clothe Richard Simmons' lard *** he has a pale can as
oil-from-rock Daniel's been given the pétrole epithet Ol' Shale Dan
Latino block & cinder create distortive Hispano-Américano rubble
'cause stirring up spics & greasy wetbacks invites N.C.L.R. trouble
Stand back anti-pope as I am about to burst your pederastic bubble!
Your egg-shell-thick pate's no match for a black jack as this club'll
smash its way thru cardinals, reverends, ministers, priests & dukes
to make cream taste like ***** and turn cake into what a dog pukes
Under U.S./Euro socialism there'll be no guy who's a young codger
and popular forenames will be banned including Preston and Roger
Trans-national entities whip horse dung into curdled cottage cheese
while denying rescue inhalers to asthmatics enjoying a bad wheeze
so as to avail publicly purpled aureolae of ready women who tease
Now is the time to release the promised South American killer bees
as the hour's passed to exact vengeance for a beheaded Robert Lees
Mafiosos contract that Joseph Valachi-types be capped at the knees
then hanged by their what's-her-names from il duce poles and trees
in such a fashion that'll tighten the ropes by cough, belch or sneeze
Long legs, wrong eggs, strong pegs, King Kong begs with a song of kegs
Let us dog dealers of wieners & corporate schemers: those 2-bit reamers
extend a left leg into the sacred space of my right one for time remaining
It's easy to harp on topics commiserate with crap profitably entertaining
A man who courts dogs & a court manned by dogs quibbles over kibble
Dogs devoid of canine teeth are not as happy to gnaw and to nibble
The Arc of the Covenant bestowed ancient promises metaphysical
shedding cockroach-scattering illumination that set courses tragical
on a populace & citizenry that were more attuned to an era magical
Before Zionistic Elders prepared an Order within cabals strategical
Beneath plum sunsets & catchy maladies that deafened folks lyrical
“Turn me on dead man” the Beatles backwardly warbled mystically
as the means and the method to sexcite vampresses gynecologically
For all shoulder-locked movements sway men anthropomorphically
Let us seek bi-lesbians who fear concerted opposition diametrically
as their prized packages remain barren, as they spawn ineffectually
Sappho's ovarian host pouch is barren as ***** meld ineffectually
as Western, Fallopian-tubed freakazoids are ****-probed habitually
Sapphic ovarian balloons shrink when hens ******* reciprocally
On Pearl Harbor Loch a false flag blackened Mister Moto's beacon
by shadowy, white manipulators under a U.S. sinister, proto-deacon
who, as a cousin-marrying-pipe-******* *******, emulated Lincoln,
the war-loving queer who went above & beyond his task to weaken
the will of sovereign states to sustain free-market economic health,
by exacting confiscatory taxes resulting in punishing capital wealth
The Beatles were creatures of M.K. Ultra's institution at Tavistock,
lost to a shocking future as shown by Alvin Toffler in Future Shock
whereas nothing can help us from taking an epidemiological knock
by Mao a la Trotsky, a la starvation wages via phony-baloney stock
in the image of Pol *** a la Lenin contrary to righteous John Locke
Our fused-egg brothers gestate together, flying as a migratory flock
dolled up in vestry wardrobe: papal bikini brassier, ******* & frock
awaiting George Orwell's 1984 English socialism known as Ingsoc
X number of years before Nancy Kwan wed ski champ Peter Pock,
& after Bob Ripley's Oriental/Occidental miscegenation ****** talk
as it was curlier than was Nimoy while he portrayed Vulcan Spock,
whose sweetness was unrehearsed, unrestrained & of a sickly mock
once taken, out of time as taken twice daily on any ol' broken clock
flesh stripped & exploited as the flightless relic of Earth's great auk
enjoying the laze of Sunday oblivious to extinct Darwinian schlock
as chastised love is Leonard Nimoy-pitiable with chastity-belt lock
Upon a Massachusettsian shore puritans purified Plymouth's Rock!
Forever amounts to nothing in betrayal of Heinlein's empathic grok
Back off quack as I'll **** the next 1 of you applying scalpel to ****
as a dad must regarding neo-Kantian, fatherless-**** Johann Bach
Deep in hell's bowels fricassees Jew Elizabeth/***-to-Death Taylor
who did every Joe Nobody from Captain Crunch to Norman Mailer
A harlot ***** was she from 10 niggerly toes to scary mulatto tone
as hellishly deep in Liz's brain was a splinter of hamster wish bone
& her ***-end was broad from fat foods Safeway to her would loan
Beneath her 3rd world-chiding heft Larry F's lawn chairs did groan
as this princess of whales never said no to hog jowls and corn pone
which made an interesting cut-out to novices of the porpoise prone
There won't be another Liz till Rockefeller perfects a Warner clone
with the aid of sewing machines to hem-stitch hems that need sewn
& a positronic brain stem to achieve mortality previously unknown
since Alex Bell pilfered **** inventor Antonio Meucci's telephone
Truth is light that Illuminists keep shadowed, darkened & unshown
for Hank & Phoebe Snow and Johnny Winter who would not atone
Thomas Edison stole or bought the patents to ingenious inventions
that he was more than happy to claim as his brilliant contributions
to the wealth & state of inquisitive Mankind's Earthen conventions,
also he took credit for Biblical allusions to immaculate conceptions
Which Bible books Tom Edison wrote no G.E. employee mentions
as stealing, purloining and commandeering were his 3 predilections
True historians know well charlatan Edison's dastardly elaborations
To pinch a hairy, chapped man is wrong as it puts him in more pain
For century-old Harry Chapman Pincher pinching made him insane
His unholy joy was to lay prone with mouth open to catch acid rain
& then hop into the commode to affect a toilet-related ankle sprain,
not too unlike Richard called **** & Jean who liked the name Jane
whose corpulence demands a piano coffin burial with crawler crane
Formaldehyde replaced 7 quarts of blood that went down a drain as
the proverb fits: when there's nothing to lose there's nothing to gain
Alan Ladd snuffed himself over a self-destructive hatred for Shane
and because Sue Carol preferred men of height Ladd couldn't attain
without elevator shoes & leading-lady actresses walking in ditches,
the love-life that humbles a netted shrimp into paralytic twitches as
Alan often got nothing from Brentwood ****** & witches because
****** pimps don't scrape **** off them Hollywood swanky *******
Tragically it's true that God's in the details & Satan's in the glitches
when Hippocratic Oath-denying doctors say don't bandage stitches,
it promotes infection needing treatment that add to a quack's riches
Apply no anti-bacterial salve unless your unbandaged wound itches
Amerika will be a Marxian paradise after we guillotine the snitches
harvest their organs, cremate & consign their ashes to crude niches
Give me, give me, give me, I can subsist not on a mere, single bean
Hey cheapo, get off your greasy ***, take me to Dairy Queen as my
**** is shaved, bra's padded & all kinks are relaxed by Afro Sheen
Western ***** are fattened for slaughter as sloped slants grow lean,
for lack of appendix, tonsils, adenoids, warts, piles, moles & spleen
Refugees flee what's so repressively dangerous that it's forever fled
The bloodied blood biz passes pathogens to bleeders bloodily bled
It is a dreadful situation that ****** folks find difficult not to dread
A gent is obliged to face conflict face first short of living in a shed,
plying the rough trade, rough-necking with ******* or playing dead
When my cruddy teeth are encrusted I brush the crud off with Crest
while working drainward with this golden cake of soap called Zest
Like a woman on public assistance I refuse to let my choppers rest
There was a time when talk of quiz was a precursor to an Iowa test
My basic skills are determinedly under-cutting my housewife guest
whose stems run north to her malignant tissue free mammae breast
In movies shooting orphans with high-powered rifles is done in jest
'cause in Amerika making ammunition is what wage-slaves do best
When I'm not utilizing forks for recreational after-meal dog-jabbin'
I am staking out hog farms for the planning of gainful hog-nabbin'
or making log-planing modifications on my pine-logged log cabin,
before crossing teamster picket lines for wage-earning job scabbin,'
I take pains to avoid being skinned in a Jimmy Hoffa mob stabbin'
A thousand Confucian truths drive my happy dreams to nightmares
as bi-****** pass out on Calexico-Mexicali-low-calorie light beers
I haven't the moxie to skate through hydrants of fate terminological
as those 78 crumb-bums behind T.V. “comedies” wax scatological
Ernie killed Chip & Robby to stamp his father a cipher biological
He hadn't room for women for production smacking gynecological
The last time he looked skyward his thoughts weren't cosmological
S.O.B. Ernest cursed routinely at arthritis diagnosed gerontological
He gives not a harlot's hello for innumerable faults anthropological
nor to lend his energies to scopes that abuse harmonics hormonical
as he stumblingly falls prey to meanderings sickishly trophological
Lord of Hostesses salvage carcass mine from insults cancrological
Redeem me in sudden form humanoid of activities pathogenetical
We mourn in Gettysburg's city as unrepentant lesbians on probation
Defying errors inflicted upon soldiers who forsook proper vocation
Anti-poping Argentine Francis as he's ****** to Satan's invocation
It remains the best course to abide by stellar laws of spatial rotation
Whether one's nationality is Romanian, Finnish, British or Croatian
Lost people will eat food outside their region &