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stargazer Aug 2018
alone
i test the word out in my mind
it tastes numb
and empty
while at the same time,
inviting pain to dance in my skull

alone
it should be painless
just void
a lack

so why does it press me from every direction
squeezing out the air
trapping me

i am in a circus
funhouse mirrors all around me
showing reflections of just one person
scared
tears dripping down her delicate nose
reflecting me back on myself
making me more lonely than before
stargazer Jul 2018
My mind is a web of
Silk
and String
That I cannot fathom into a
Tapestry
Jumbled and confused in this big, endless world.
stargazer Jul 2018
Words have power
They can pierce your bones
The right ones devour
Your very soul
Peaceful ones flower
And make you whole

Others cut deep
Leave scars, angry red
Make you lose sleep
As they dance in your head
Your happiness they reap
Until your spirit is dead

The strong message they send
Cannot be erased
They twist and they bend
They demand to be faced
They make ideas blend
Leaving a bad aftertaste

You cannot try to forget
The things you hear
Like a cigarette
They take what you hold dear
They sing a duet
Of shame, grief, and fear

Once it is said
It penetrates the defenses
Causing joy or dread
Sometimes beyond recompenses

Words can move you
Words can ****
Words can pierce through
Words can thrill

Each time you part your lips
The words that stain the air
Can sink the finest ships
Or be an answer to a prayer
"Say what you mean. Mean what you say."
stargazer Jul 2018
You
You are not a possession
You cannot be controlled
You are fiery passion
Taking hold
The desire for satisfaction

You are not being acted upon
You are changing everything
There is no limit drawn
That prevents you from thriving
You are a breaking dawn
Possibilities endless, you can be anything

And yet
stargazer Jul 2018
I squiggle and squirm
Trying to find a place
Inside this suit of skin I wear
Try to display my feelings on my face

But no matter how I shift and slide
There is no room for me here
In this skin in which I hide
Where I live with my fear

I wonder constantly
How does everyone seem so comfortable?
So happy and free?
In their very own skin
How are they different from me?

I see them walking
Confident
Hips swaying
Moving with no consequence

How can I love myself
If I don't even feel comfortable with myself?

In other words,
How do I love a stranger?
Even though I live with myself
I feel like someone that I've just met
stargazer Jul 2018
Save me from this battle
That I have declared
It is fierce and ******
I am trembling and scared

A knife pierces my side
An arrow reaches my heart
Please clean my wounds
Or from this life I must part

Save me from this war
This tidal wave of death
I am no longer my own ally
I'm breathing my last breath

Save me

Save me from myself
stargazer Jul 2018
Love
Makes us
Love to be in Love

When, really
She is using us
To be Loved
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