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Aug 2021 · 532
haiku
stargazer Aug 2021
the leaves fall in fall
is it really that simple?
they change color too
wrote this in middle school and i think this is the closest to enlightenment as i'll ever get
Jul 2020 · 185
the cost
stargazer Jul 2020
i used to think love was free
when you came to me
but then you had your fill
and aphrodite came back with the bill
stargazer Jul 2020
step one.)
think. think of everything that people must hate about you.

step two.)
let it consume you until you forget to breathe

step three.)
drop microscopic hints to people that you're not okay

step four.)
breakdown when they don't get it

step five.)
make excuses for them

step six.)
fear that they do get it, but you just bother them so much that they don't care

step seven.)
stop talking

step eight.)
start overeating, or eating nothing (with practice, you may be able to do a combination of both)

step nine.)
watch tv until you fall asleep on the couch every night

step ten.)
don't shower

step eleven.)
go numb

step twelve.)
receive a notification on your phone that sends you spiraling into self loathing and wondering why the hell you did this in the first place because it doesn't make it better. it doesn't. it doesn't

step thirteen.)
feel selfish for even thinking about bothering anyone again just to satisfy your own stupid craving for attention

step fourteen.)
finally reach out

step fifteen.)
repeat steps one through fourteen. again and again and again.

step sixteen.)
die
sick of this.

07.05.2020
Jun 2020 · 164
p.s
stargazer Jun 2020
p.s
i still wish you never showed me that song
because something so beautiful
shouldn't hurt me so much
06.23.2020
Jun 2020 · 2.4k
record
stargazer Jun 2020
how long
will this song
play on repeat?

when will they
hear it?
justice. this song is called justice. and i will let it play until they hear it.

06.01.2020
Apr 2020 · 501
brain hurt
stargazer Apr 2020
people don't label my pain
as real as others

but i promise, it's just as lethal
4-30-2020
Apr 2020 · 443
you aren't
stargazer Apr 2020
you aren't sweet
you're salty.
but i like to lick
the sweat from your
lips.

you aren't soft
you're sharp.
but i like the way
your nails feel against my
back.

you aren't loud
you're quiet.
but i like to sit and
just think with
you.

you aren't poetic
you're poetry.
but i like to write
you into
immortality.
you aren't with me.
you're too far away.
but i like the way
you sound on the
phone.
Apr 2020 · 1.4k
through the dissonance
stargazer Apr 2020
i play a song
full of dissonant chords
but i won't stop
until the last note

because maybe
someone needs to hear a song
i can't hang on for me anymore.

but i'll hang on for you <3

04.08.2020
stargazer Apr 2020
used to think i was so wise
yes, my words were so clever
and now i stare at my demise
regretting my foolish endeavour

i thought my words could hold you
that they would show you my heart
but you just saw right through
my carefully crafted piece of art
Mar 2020 · 197
pottery
stargazer Mar 2020
you weren't a
book for me
to read

you weren't a
movie for me
to watch

you're still being
written
you're still being
made

so am i
and i'm so sorry
for expecting
you to be
a finished product

when i sit here
on the
potter's wheel
Mar 2020 · 164
stupid crying
stargazer Mar 2020
i used to think
i was so
clever

but these tears
are evidence
of my stupidity
words used to make me feel so smart. now all they do is point out how stupid i really am.
Feb 2020 · 316
amygdala
stargazer Feb 2020
all of our memories
are reconstructions
of things
we think to be

maybe that's why
i thought
we'd always be a
we
stargazer Feb 2020
i think so

because despite everything
you've put it through
my heart
still loves you
been a time...
Feb 2020 · 88
nothing inside
stargazer Feb 2020
i emptied
myself out

it took awhile
but through all those
tears

i think i'm finally
hollow
Feb 2020 · 272
blue flannel (pt 2)
stargazer Feb 2020
you wore my
blue flannel
and i wore my
smile
trying to fix things
Feb 2020 · 174
Your Local Grocery Store
stargazer Feb 2020
Your Local Grocery Store
so much to offer
and always around the corner
giving and giving

he lays out everything
on shelves
for you to see

some take without giving
anything back
saying to themselves
that they take only
what he doesn't need

most, though
gather their things
take them to the counter
and offer empty
slips of paper

he takes them
without complaint
knowing that
they don't have
anything else to give

people think of him
when they need something
and he's always so happy
to oblige

always giving and giving
so much to offer
just around the corner
dedicated to Evan, known as the poet, Your Local Grocery Store. may he get better customers.
Feb 2020 · 231
c-sharp minor
stargazer Feb 2020
i bleed in a lovely chorus
that haunts my resonant lungs
striking harmonies in my veins

my broken bones crackle percussively
throbbing through my muscles
creating a beat felt in the depths of my gut

every time i break
music erupts
from the pieces

and for you
i will become
the most beautiful song
Feb 2020 · 315
blue flannel
stargazer Feb 2020
you leave my flannel
hanging up with your clothes
it was my favourite,
and you were too

its only company
is my heart
which you left in the corner of your closet
to gather spiderwebs
stargazer Jan 2020
who knew that a broken heart
would taste so good
Jan 2020 · 215
empty calories
stargazer Jan 2020
you are so sweet
yet so bad for me

you taste so secretive
so deliciously mine
but you're only a recipe
for a broken heart

no matter how many times
i put you on my tongue
you drench it in your savoury promises
that you'll never keep
leaving me empty
with desire

and somehow, i can never say

'no'
****.
Jan 2020 · 195
you ask why i'm quiet (10w)
stargazer Jan 2020
being ignored doesn't scare me

i'm afraid of people listening
Jan 2020 · 208
intertwine
stargazer Jan 2020
the lines of decision are thick
and if i cross them the wrong way
i will be entangled in the threads
of a life unlived

but if i stay here
on the other side
i risk not knowing
what life is at all

so i'll pluck them
like the delicate strings
of a lyre
hoping to strike a harmony
the lyre is a gorgeous instrument, dude
Jan 2020 · 388
0
stargazer Jan 2020
0
even 'zero' has
an 'are'

all i have is
a 'was'
Jan 2020 · 90
i gave you everything
stargazer Jan 2020
i'd cry

but
i'd have to have
tears to give

i'd laugh

but
i'd have to have
air to spend

i'd bleed

but
i'd have to have
blood in my veins

i'd love

but
i'd have to have
a heart in my chest
Jan 2020 · 258
small doses
stargazer Jan 2020
when i left my mark
i didn't think
it would be a scar

i dreamed of it being a handprint
on your heart
but i see now, that i've only cut it open

and sorry is not the bandage that i once believed it could be
time no longer the cure i had labeled it

i see now why the doctor prescribed those
shifting glances
and one word responses

because i am just a relapse waiting to happen
i know sorry doesn't cut it. but... sometimes it seems like that's all i am.

sorry </3
Jan 2020 · 912
pane
stargazer Jan 2020
i've been staring out of this window
for so long
i can't tell who's
gone

me
or
the people i can't see
stargazer Jan 2020
i pressed snooze
so many times

i don't know when
i meant to wake up

but i might as well
stay
under the
covers
i technically get up at five am, but my mind keeps pressing snooze
stargazer Jan 2020
the clock is time
ticking away
going on without us

the hourglass is our time
draining slowly
running out grain by grain

you tipped
my hourglass
over
so that time stood still

and broke the glass at both ends
when you walked away
leaving my heart
bleeding
in the sand,

my time in a
meaningless
heap
song: "rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated" by rise against
(stole the title directly from a lyric. don't sue please.)
Dec 2019 · 119
eclipse
stargazer Dec 2019
the sunlight was so loud
but i couldn't hear it
because it doesn't shine
on me
when you aren't around
you are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are grey
you'll never know, dear
how much i love you
please don't take my sunshine away
stargazer Dec 2019
i'm not afraid to die, love

i'm afraid to live
i'm holding my breath and i just might suffocate

xP
Dec 2019 · 116
garrote
stargazer Dec 2019
when i gave you my heart
i didn't know that yours
came with strings
and you could tug
on them
whenever the ******* felt like it
pardon my french
Dec 2019 · 187
scapegoat
stargazer Dec 2019
as much as i say i do,
i do not blame you
the only one i blame is me
for everything i cannot be

for all the times i've fallen short
when i couldn't think of the right retort
for every single time i cry
i only blame my own eye

when i scream your err
pay no attention
it is only lack of self care
and increasing muscle tension
just stressed
stargazer Dec 2019
a void
would be preferable
to your eyes
avoiding mine
just
look
at
me
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