I am the wood burnt and cracking,  my strength lacking.
I am the smoke swirling with the wind ,  my memories swirling reminders I have sinned.
I am the embers cackling and flickering, mymy fears and doubts bickering.
I am the flames hot and passionate, my love and rage full swelling lacking passiveness.
I am the ashes all that remains a memory of the heat and intensity, the end of our shared chemistry.

My situation does not define me
My past does not define me
I am who I choose to be.

I count, I matter
I am real and I feel
My problems matter
They count
Just because you don't see them
It doesn't mean they aren't there
My scars are still scars
My fears are still here
And these wounds have never healed
But I am still important
My reasons still count
And I still matter.
I swear...
I do

I feel like I'm dying, without dying
I'm overly emotional without any emotion
I'm hurting without pain
I'm crying without tears
I'm bleeding without blood
I'm thinking without thought
My mind is full without being filled
I'm colored without color
I am without myself

Drink me silly, slap me high
Sing me a bedtime lullaby
All alone with depression I lie
soon I'll be no more
And when you come knocking at my door
There will lie my body on the floor.

I think about it all the time.
I do it even when I'm not sad.
I hide it like a crime.
It's not a fashion fad.

I like the way it feels, looks, the relief
The sensation and satisfaction
But I hate the way it it brings greif
The after a the of the action

I do it all the time
Even when you take away the knife
I give no warning sign
I just don't want to lose my life

Lights, no lights
warm, not warm
pain, numbness
isolation, on display
I can't think straight.
Fallin from the social norm.
Noting eyes gaining awareness.
And I can't keep the darkness at bay.