She's better now
than before.

Maybe
because she realized
that it's time to get up
and move on,
to forgive
and forget,
to be happy
and contented.

Maybe people tend to be hurt
to know that it's not all about
p a i n
but
*realizing that there are more great things they deserve

some people just do not get it
do they?

they think they can see you clearly
when in reality, you are not a window

you're more of a piece of one-way glass
people think they can see through you
but from the other side
its completely opaque

they say
"Your smile makes others smile!"
when really you're thinking
"My smile is so forced."

its hard
seeing everyone all happy
when you're all sad
they just dont get it

so you laugh it out
you laugh when they do
you smile with them
you put on the best **** act you can

they dont know that youre breaking
they cant see it
its the one-way glass
they dont understand

you might open up to people
but they mainly just leave
some will stay
but its likely theyll leave

so you go to school
or work
or out in public
and you force it

you force your happiness
and your smiles
and everything
and you just laugh it out

laughing makes it seem like
youre perfectly fine
youre okay
but you arent

they just cant see through
the piece of one-way glass
they dont know
they wont know

as long as you laugh it out

And then you clasped
your hands,
your eyes staring
at me intently
with hurt, anger and sadness.
Is it that painful?
The way he torn your heart
into pieces,
the way he made you feel loved
and left you feeling dead.

The way you write those
words about him with
your cold fingers
and swollen eyes.

Is it that painful?
When he left you with
no explanations
or maybe
just a slight proof that
he loved you.

Is it really that painful?
That even being in love with
someone else
is not in your mind anymore
Is it really because of him?
That you already forgot
how to love and be loved,
that even trusting people
is so hard for you now?

or

It's all because you chose
to be like that?
You chose to be broken and
feel alone,
you chose to think that
you can't live without him.

It's always your choice
if you want to be miserable.
Your choice.

It was beautiful
the way you hold my hand
and
say that everything's gonna be alright.
The way your devilishly handsome smile
makes my whole body shiver
and my cheeks blush.

It was memorable,
those unplanned visits
that made me feel
like i'm one of the people you
can't stand a day without seeing.
Those times when we're happy,
even in silence,
as long as we have each other
we're contented.

It's all too good to be true.
The moment when you said
those three words,
"I like you".
The feeling of being
cared by the person
you want to be with.
That was all to good to be true.

But

It was painful.
The day you said
we can't be together anymore.
It was like an avalanche
has come my way and
I can't do anything about it.

My lips started to
run out of words to say,
my eyes were like a river
that keeps on shedding tears.
My mind started to
reminisce the moments when
there were no fights nor hurt
just happiness and love.

And lastly,
my heart stopped,
like I don't have anything to
live for anymore.

That was when I was blinded by the fact
that I can't let go of you,
of the memories, and
the feelings.

But it's all over.

I'm in the middle
of crying
and trying.
Trying to be the girl
who makes herself happy without you,
the girl who can survive the whole day
without seeing you
and
the girl who can live her life to the fullest
without you.

But maybe it's true
that I should not just try,
instead I should do

I should do it
for myself
for my life
not for you
or anyone
but for me

Because after all
it's always gonna be my choice,
my life, and
my heart.