i.

summer, with her golden
light and bluebell valleys
sweeps the senorita skies
and shady groves.

ii.

the sea rushes to the sand,
relentless waves surrender
crashing on the rocks
where the raucous gulls glide.

iii.

the moon-sky of summer’s
warm nights brings sweet dreams
and lavender fields, stars
of slumber, ropes of
gold thread like
embroidered silk.


iv.

the white clouds
woven from the rain
hide the sun which
waits for the blue inks
of a summer sky.

v.

small, the bird
painted
on the sky.

vi.


i am jealous of your legs,
crazy in love with your love,
swept up in your arms
while i wait for you to
claim me as your own.

love me i cry out,
i am yours, i am yours,
forever.

(explicit)

**** my soul
        with poetry
           scream out my gracious name
             slay me with words
               that peel my layers
                and simultaneously
                                   drive me
                                           insane

finger me slowly, hotly
with just the right rhythm and rhyme
    push me past my
                 tender limits
                       into tongues of syntax,
                                                      sublime

a­lliterate my senses
   (in swift stac
                    c-at
                           o)
until my mind is but blank verse
    mess up my stressed
              and unstressed syllables
in unsung language, versed

I will speak to you in vowels
(the only sound
       I will be able to make)
as you stroke
   my iambic pentameter
             in the heat of frothed-up
                                                     ache

we are this heroic couplet, you see
        even if the meaning seems veiled
           no need for simile or metaphor
               as I feel your chest rise
                              in deep inhale

we are a natural paradox
       so many ironies abound
         discordant harmony
is our synaesthesia
     in visible darkness found

and I love this delicious enjambment
as your aura invisibly slips
                               into mine
our lines have no beginning,
                                 no end
    as we undo
          the boundaries
                      of time

My deepest fear
is that
I will never be able to love him,
Wholly,
Completely,
As he has loved me.

I have a tendency to want
What I don't have
It's a terrible habit.
One that I want to ditch
I want nothing more than
To love him as unconditionally as he has loved me.

But I cannot forget the only
Real Love
I've had.
You and I met working at a summer camp your parents managed
You loved me too,
I could tell.
But we were in an open relationship

Where you were seeing
Mary Jane
Molly
Lucy
Nikki
and needed more than a little Liquid Courage to help.

Day tripping was your side job.

Even though you never treated me badly
I knew you would never quit.
Not for me.
Not for anyone.
But God only knew how much I loved you.

We were afraid that if we said those words
We'd scare the other away

Or maybe you didn't know what
Love felt like.
You knew you were supposed to pay for lunch,
Kiss me,
Open the door on occasion
But maybe we were just kindred spirits.

It sure as hell felt like it the night we met.
We talked nonstop for hours
A jumble of words and half begun stories
Jumping over each other
because we couldn't wait to tell the other about something.

I don't remember the next day
But I remember sneaking into the kitchen that night
to find the most disgusting hot pocket I had ever eaten
And then deciding to make chocolate chip pancakes instead

We (I) burnt them,
but we ate them anyways

I remember
I spent the whole night
waiting for you to kiss me.
Hoping I'd have the chance to taste the burnt chocolate on your lips.

The next day,
after we finished our work
We snuck down to the river while my dad was gone
And the kids were off on some activity

I don't remember how
But before we kissed
I remember being wrapped around your waist

I don't remember if I kissed you
or if you kissed me
But I remember what you said afterwards.

You said it like you saw the world in a new light
You held me
I stared at you
I had never seen eyes catch the light like your's do

I remember how when you looked at me
as the sun filtered through the trees,
My breath caught in my throat
And I saw the world in a new light

I remember how I loved you
I remember how I miss you

tonight
he is going to go drink himself to sleep
and I am going to lay here
with only my regret to keep me company.

Actually scratch that.

I miss the things we planned to do,
The drives
The lunch dates
The lazy mornings watching movies
And how our just woken up tongues would taste.

I miss the memories I hoped to have,
But I guess you didn't think the same

I'm not quite sure what I said,
Why it all turned out this way
Or what caused you to leave me sitting alone in that park.

Maybe it was the alcohol,
Or maybe you were afraid of what might happen.

Either way.
When I looked down at you
That one lazy morning,
Right before you gave up on me,
I wanted you
With all my heart

But in your eyes I saw how apprehensive you were.
I saw the barbed wire around your tongue
And the metal fences behind your eyes I'm not strong enough to climb.

It doesn't help you kept building it higher.

So to make it simple.
When people ask me what's wrong
Because they see the bags you left under my eyes
Or the flesh you took that used to pad my ribs.
I remember how I came home smelling like you
Because we hadn't stopped touching each other for hours.

And I'll tell them,
I had a few late nights
Waiting for a friend to get home
So I knew they were safe.

If we are being honest
I know you will come home,
But I am not your home.
I tried,
I would have done close to anything to be

But I was too weak to climb your fenses
And I cut myself too many times on your sharp edges

If you hadn't left I would have let myself be cut to ribbons.