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vik Sep 13
“oh, how they will all bet on morrows that strain rills after dark,
and yet the Game, unpitying, regains its lordly behest at dawn;

lean back and feel the turn of things, the chance, the risk, the almost...
ante!”



this mania!
when it wreathes,
the imperceptible of myself,
it drains through me, sedulously,
hands aquiver, sight fretful,
and the bath of wanting (and not, ergo),
spewing and fusing
inside the etna of my inlying.

you are, then, obedience itself,
long before the grapevine,
before the Cards;
rails tarnishing, yet begrimed steel,
rather ossein, or thew,
turning to a suttee so pale, it forgets its ills.

and the trains;
yes, they were gushing, though not afore;
“did you think they would arrive for you?”
they smelt into clag,
into a mist of faces, barren,
swelling and shrieking of throe,
snaking, snaking down the spine of
the Stake.

slaves betting with their ilk of ardor,
when a match struck, belatedly,
but already it is leaning toward cinders,
its shine no more
than a laugh of people,
leaving the hall shivery in its bleat,
charcoals sighing their waning,
others honing their exit.
bitterly, bitterly, i am
left with nothing to hold but smoke.

but time, ah, time,
the nimble Host,
old trickster with his cuffs of lithe,
shuffling cloaks for loose change.
he and i,
always at the same table,
and i know his favorite sleight:
to grant the boastful player
a losing hand,
and winning eyes.

the coin is tossed,
to the Parlay; so soon cast,
so soon swallowed by the piker.
the crowd, they clap for a name,
but it is never genius they are crowning,
only luck,
foremost Dealer,
with that last word,
smiling as he lays it down:
only the blind Card turned upward.

~~~

and i,
sitting with my empty cup,
still growing a taste for losing
foolish, surely,
but the loss only deepens the greed,
doubles it, whets it past the reach of will.

so ring then, coin,
dull as you are, tattered,
clattering against the floorboards.
it tells me i am counted,
measured,
already spent.
yes, yes, it is only a caprice,
but it hews, it digs,
it laughs where no mouths are,
and i laugh back;
ante!
🎰
vik Sep 7
i’ve been striding
this street for many a days,
but its grit tallowed dysthymia,
for mist thick enough to stifle noise
for mist thick enough to hide the Suns,

the cables hang,
entangled, taut!
your fingers, i cannot reach

o, my Creator

here lies the room in wait,
as clothes strewn as seiche-borne
meet a meagre bed of Dionysian dreams,
the wall slumps, tongue-tied, and i am
yet again
enduring haar that never soars.

just how much of me curls toward you,
and how much snaps away?
this street writhes before me,
smothered, sluggard, buggered,
its end inferred in grueling smog
this burden answers nothing
                                   *save the only question that matters,
                                     how much,
                                    am i shaped by thee,
                                                           ­              mother?
vik Sep 7
dark boughs contrive to curtain off the sky,
their whisper’d frith avow what i’d enshroud;
my seat lies waiting, yet i pass it by,
for languor thickens where i’d have mistrowed.

once did i knock, and pled at thine own gate,
though all my words fell hollow at thy feet,
now dumb i stand, lest asking breed thy hate,
the sugared lie thy pity makes too sweet.

the tide upclimbs, my garments drinks its brine,
my corpse turns leaden with the sea’s command;
so love, once sweet, is ballast made of thine,
that drags me deeper than my feet can stand.

  my sovereign, smile, i think thy reign is true;
  i gasp in rout and drown myself for you.
vik Aug 23
through knurly boughs surly éclat breaks,
burn of gold that rips the vineyard’s breast;
it cleavers slumber, all stray living shakes,
and bids the mourner’s heart forsake its rest.

o Godly Sun, thou art no tender flame,
but grim as verdict in the twilight’s hour;
thy light, as gars, enthrall the flesh with shame,
and sear the fragile bloom of mortal flower.

yet soft the Sea, with soughing lips of brine,
still thumps her griefs against the granite shore;
though wave on wave seems lush, of tone divine,
she gnaws the stone till stone it is no more.

thus love forays in twofold dread disguise:
now sudden fire, now patient tidal spell;
it strikes with glory, burns the blinded eyes,
or wears the years to dust with late farewell.

o Love, thou art a tyrant robed in grace,
of sweet miasma, vile in delight;
thou make a banquet of the heart’s own place,
and leave the corpse to banquet with the night.

no mortal choice avails ’gainst Love’s decree;
its law is writ in fire and surging sea.
naturally, fatally, all lovers know:
the last, most faithful act is;
let them go.
🃏
vik Aug 18
loathsome murk, drawing me into taint,
trailing off into the black mire yet again.
vine-brother, i hear your leaves trembling,
what poison seeps from you now?
clotted earth webs your lashes;
when i scrape it loose, the ground cracks,
your breath curdles me backward,
into the ditch’s gullet.

hands like tarnished winches,
i wrench, stagger, cling,
yet your seepage slicks the corbelling,
brine of iron thickening in the throat.

i thrash like a rabid,
limbs cadging against sodden turf,
nails serrated on the gristle-clotted earth,
and still you scream,

your wither drips sicklier now,
i see it contort, i see the murids writhe
through the filigree of air.
crows; oscillating, tacit, assay my hands,
perpetually assay, quantifying
how fealty decays in my fingers.
falter not, the fault feeds me yet, they caw.

vine-brother jumps into the cracked loam,
hell opening like funeral pyres beneath him.
he sags, sap-wet and ***** with earth’s grit,
tears mingling with the dust as they leak from his cracked lips.
his hand, crawler’s cold, scrabbles for mine;
i, slack-jointed, pulled into the churn of mire,
find myself dragged into loathsome murk.
🕒
vik Aug 15
if the theatre breathes like a rancid lung
   it must exhale into the rafters;
ledger-scent and sour of iron...y,
  and hours congealed into one bleak bruise.

then it must be that only (i) inherit a vessel
as one inherits a house wrecked by fire:
   walls still too warm with other lives,
wallpaper peeled into letters that spell me.
   never (my) name.

heart-beat / heart • skip
(these syllables only ever tally debts.)

    (my) palms are tax-collectors with gloves far too soft to grasp mercy.
    (my) ribs are two little vaults where accusations slumber.
    and there are ceaseless receipts folded inside the sole of (my) shoe.

evenings most beautiful
  with rain pouring down their face,
have stopped pooling and now,

   they sediment, layer upon layer...
in the strata of one’s rues,
  as ossified bulwarks for crimes (i) never learned.

a braided tongue of smoke
   knots through (my) chest,
insisting on words (i) never even conceived,
       sighing a confession to a jury of
absent eyes.

  they led me to the scaffold
palisaded oak, blade polished to a sunless gleam,
and the (crowd), silent as those ledge
pages,
      watched
as i was sentenced for the mere act of knowing.

and even as the head fell,
       i felt the phonetics of my existence
spill like tarnished coins across the wet cobblestones,
  and the (spectators), formless and meticulous,
  gathered them as though i were (theirs).
returns
vik Jul 18
(    )

      > where drifts the self?

frore strath
  where stalkers
drip their sultry rest
  and our shoulders
thaw
  into
the moor of dumb ”Earth”;

  > where do the ARROWS lead?

   to the soft cortège of gut
  slunk in eve’s
inferring weave;
  often whit’s
threnode
  where bre^th ignores its end

       > what stirs now?

  wearing the guise of lack
   [...]
ego, and
a patch of moss in sombre ”snow”
  lurching
beyond limbs,
  beyond need

       > when loosens time?

  the night clasps
 thin as the sigh of origin
  and i
(and we)
  one sunken, shallow leaf;
  do not rise /
do not recall

       > none beside?

  only the dreary,
  detailed fatigue
  of being
  unmade, unmade...
  
       >  ▍
🍂
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