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 Mar 2019 Japanesekid
Emily
Depression
What a lonely word
But
Everyone goes through it
At least one time in their life
Doesn't it feel lonely
Don't you just want to crawl in a corner
And do nothing
I know
Because
I've been through it
But
At some point
The corner will smile at you
And you will
Smile back
 Jan 2019 Japanesekid
Jessie A
I can't help myself!
I keep falling into the same hole that I dug,
Being stupid as if I were a mindless little bug.
I say I'm not going to make the same mistake again,
Because I'm tired of living a life that's full of sin.
I can't help myself!
The temptations are way too much,
My temptations are addicting like the softness of a touch.
I can't help myself!
Sometimes I cry because of the person  that I am,
It's like the devil keeps selling me the same  old scam.
I keep falling for it over and over,
All the devil has to say is roll over.
I can't help myself!
I know I'm young and I'll make mistakes,
But one mistake is all that it takes.
One mindless decision could ruin my life,
The decision that makes me choose a life or a knife.
I can't help myself!
I try to crawl up the hole,
But it's like I lost my soul.
Sometimes I do things and I don't care,
There's a  feeling of numbness that no one can repair.
I can't help myself!
It's crazy what temptations will do,
Making you feel like it will always be apart of you.
It's like I can't say no,
It's throwing me over and over again in the same hole.
I can't help myself...
 Jan 2019 Japanesekid
Nicole
She never loved me
She only loved the way I loved her
She never wanted me
Just wanted me to want her
She didn't care about me
Only about how I could benefit her
She never saw me
She saw the way I looked at her
She never heard me
She only heard enough to make her mad
She made me the center of her universe
Until someone better came along
Someone who gave her more
More of whatever she needed in that moment
She said she'd never do something that she didn't want to do
Even if it would help her partner in some way
She said she hated being selfish
(Or hated being called selfish)
But she didn't know how to change
She didn't know how to care
And all I ever wanted from her
Was to give a **** about me
Even half as much as I did for her
I didn't want material things
I didn't want empty words
I didn't even need affection
I just wanted her to care
And she never did
 Jan 2019 Japanesekid
Nicole
Waking up to a heavy chest
My body begging me to sleep again
And my anxiety begins the second I realize I'm alive
I'm trying to learn to function
With all of this negative energy inside me
I know it'll pass and
I know it'll get better
But right now it hurts
I feel unloved
Unloveable
I feel lost inside myself
A place I can't stay too long
Before I lose my mind
I can tell myself I'm worth it and
That my worth isn't defined by others
And it works for a bit
Until something else comes up and
My heart loses its energy
And I either feel like giving up
Or ready to fight everyone
 Jan 2019 Japanesekid
Venn
(tw; hypothermia, death)

Having depression is like being caught out in a blizzard.

At first, the cold seems like nothing.

You're all bundled up in a fluffy coat,
scarf wrapped around your face,
hands slipped into gloves and tucked under your arms.

But then the snow begins to fall,
and the temperature drops,
and it's like the chill is stripping you down, layer by layer,
even though all your layers are still there.

It gets colder, and you start to feel the effects of the chill,
the fierce winter seeping into your bones,
making it seem as though you only walked outside
in a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt.

Your body begins to numb as the cold starts,
the weakest parts of you losing their feeling first.

Your nose,
your ears,
your cheeks and your face and your fingers,
all becoming completely numb,
as if they aren't there anymore.

And then your legs stiffen up,
and you have trouble walking,
even though you try so hard to keep moving,
because you know if you stop, you're doomed.

But you lose your ability to function,
the cold causing almost complete ****** paralysis,
and no matter how hard you try,
it's impossible to keep moving.

You fall to the ground,
curling into a ball in the snow,
trying to keep yourself warm,
but the cold is too much.

And as the hypothermia sets in,
your brain tricks you into thinking you're actually warm,
and you strip off the layers that were the only thing
keeping you alive.

And then it's over.
 Jan 2019 Japanesekid
April
When I am gone,
Don’t think of me.
Don’t mourn for me
Don’t weep for me.

I won’t be there
To turn away
The pain.

Some other arms would
Hold you tight,
Another’s voice would
Soothe your sleep;
And I will be
A million miles away.

So please,
Don’t miss me
    
When
       I’m
          Gone.
 Sep 2018 Japanesekid
nooneknoes
My suicide is something I've dreamed of for a while.
My suicide scares me because I do not know what is after.
My suicide is something I have attempted many times but failed.
My suicide is going to be a relief.
My suicide is selfish.
My suicide is going to be by blade to my wrist.
My suicide is a thought that soothes me.
My suicide is going to be hard for the people around me.
My suicide will eventually be forgotten.
My suicide seems blissful but horrible at the same time.









I hope my suicide is soon.
It’s funny to me how people wanna tell me how to deal with my depression
knowing that if they were on the same side of the fence, they’d fear my depression
They believe it’s all in the mind & in a way it is
but when you think about it, it’s more of how life really is
They claim to understand your battle when we’re in 2 different wars
trying to tell you how to heal yourself when they don’t relate to your scars
You can’t tell me how to save myself when the same thing isn’t killing you
can’t tell me your methods work for me because your remedy is only healing you
We all have our demons  & devils on different levels
some only have a few, some may have several
Put yourself in my shoes & I’ll see if you can survive that dark world to which I reside
would you give up too quick or **** yourself knowing you tried
You can see what I’m going thru but could you really handle it
you feel my rage within my soul, but could you bare to manage it
Now let’s switch back sides & tell me again how to win my fight
How to keep from tearing myself apart to understand this thing called life
From the outside looking in, you’d probably think it’s a walk in the park
but when you put on my shoes, I guarantee you wouldn’t know where to start
☆ Poetic Venom ☆
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