Trying to find myself
A lifetime of effort
With no beginning
And no End
Going down one-way streets
The wrong way
Ending up in dead-ends
Long times of searching
With nothing to show

I know the ‘what’, but not the ‘who’
The ‘what’ is easy
The ‘who’ unfathomable
The mirror tells the outer story
The dreams maybe the inner
What do my actions and reactions
Tell about who I am?
Are my moods, my happiness, and sadness
Linked to my essence, the ‘who’?

Will I know only for sure
After I die, when I am just soul?
Are the answers in this other dimension
Never to be known in physical life?
Why do I need to know ‘who’ I am?
Is it not enough to know ‘what’ I am?
Would I live my life differently
If I knew ‘who’ I am?
I guess I will never know

I want to believe when I **** its romantic
but no lovers remind me of love
because you took that from me
I am now shattered on the ground
and I can't seem to put the pieces back
they just don't fit like they used to
and no matter who I try to love
they can't fill in the cracks
just like breaking a mirror
you can glue it back
but you'll always see
and feel
those scars you left in me

yesterday we are here, giggling to each other about the gentle sleep noises we make, an entire night sky rests easy while I'm in your arms

tonight you are gone, I am wearing your sweater to bed, clutching the love notes you wrote me, there is rain and loud thunder while I scream

tomorrow I do not know where I am, I smell of liquor as I get tangled in a stranger that I will never speak to again, everything is dull and the people I walk by when I leave are faceless

Everyday after it is pitch black and pure white all at once, there is a single bench that I sit on, waiting for yesterday

Sometimes I hear ,
myself in a calm place
and a casual time,
with the shadows of stars,
under the bright moonlight;
on the streets,
where a mother holds a child,
protecting her love,
them satisfying their hunger,
in a good warm supper.

Oh dear one,
is it your smile
or the stories of the
tortured souls
playing nice for once?

Is this the cure
or an illusion of panacea ?

To drown in the ocean
would feel like I feel

surrounded by darkness
of the big blue sea

The tides pulling me back
in the same way my mood does

To drown in the ocean
would be easiest for me

Just skin and bones...I can almost taste that image

Just skin and bones I can see it so clear

Just skin and bones,the dream I want to attain

Just skin and bones,the woman on my wall won't look so smug now