I have sat for many hours
Opening my soul to you
Listening with my heart
To your wisdom, wishing you were my mom
Now you are gone
And I am alone again
The pain is still hurting
But I can no longer listen to your voice
I didn’t want you to go
I wanted to be your child
Although I understand
You needed to retire to find a new life
The children inside my mind
Weep for you every day
I sit alone in my room
And allow their despair to wash over me
After all the years
Of telling you my heart
I can no longer reach out to you
And that hurts me to the core of my being
You could die
And I would never know
I could die
And you would not care when or why
I wish I could see
You just one more time
To tell you how I hurt
But I know you would never allow that
You told me once
I would not owe you anything
When we parted company
That I would be free to go my own way
Now that it you’ve gone
I must forward without you
I must remember what you taught me
But my soul is pain and so **** confused
You were the mother
I never had
It is like you’ve died
I’ll never see you or hear your wisdom again
I know I can say
All these things
Because you will not know
I would never impose upon your professionalism
I just wish
Oh God I wish
You were my real mom
Then you wouldn’t be out of reach forever
I have one more thing
I would like to say
Before I end this poem
I love you Paula, and I miss you very much
Paula was a fantastic therapist. She and I walked the long road to recovery from severe childhood trauma together for 27 years.
When she retired, she left me utterly alone. I survived though, because that's what I do. I miss her, and I wish her luck.