All I remember was her smile
It had a magical feeling to it

Like the one you just had while reading this

It was deeper than poetry
It always knew how to bring out the best in me

She was my poetry,
she was my reality mixed with fantasy
I was high on her ecstasy
Addicted to her like a phin to his needle
Her love solved all of my life’s toughest riddles
She was the morphine to my pain
The fire that burned from within
The calm that kept me sane

She was the reason I...

Are private conversations even private anymore
We talk with caution
Is any body even real anymore?
Fake news turned into fake lives
Oh wait did fake lives come before fake news?
No one even knows anymore

Of the million ways to die
Who would of thought a screenshot
Would be one of them
Vulnerability is now an illusion
A mystery to many
Too many are hallucinating
People talk
while others are investigating
Looking for ways to expose them
Knowing that you are one screenshot away from death, how can anyone be real anymore?

If self-love was an ocean
Would you be willing to drown in it

Others die loving their lovers
but live hating themselves
so tell me is it worth it to give your love while you don’t even value its worth  

Because I see empty oceans
And many broken hearts
Beautiful pieces of art
that have been torn apart
By lovers that are millions of oceans apart

Who knew love came by someone tapping your picture twice,
on a small screen
While scrolling down a wall full of other pictures

Look at all these likes and comments
So many compliments

30 likes makes you mediocre
2,000+ likes makes you a star
Instant gratification
Instant modeling
Instant attention
Instant satisfaction
But you end up with an ego full of empty compliments

I’m in between too young to die and too old to live
So I’m just living
Too wild to tame, too tame to be wild
Stuck in between
Stuck in this illusion called life
So I’m just living
If you find my purpose please tell It I’ve been looking for it all of my life
Until then I’ll just keep living

The greatest thing I have ever fixed
Was my mind on never letting you go
I subbed out my ego,
and evicted pride out of my heart,
just to make room for you and you alone

Now here is my heart
please handle with caution

I just dropped the “O” in good and it became God
Because God is Good
Treasure his life
to him nothing is impossible
Even impossible knows that all things are possible, through him, hope and faith are available
Christian sinners kneel to beg for appeals
Second, third, thirty third chances  
Trying to make advances
Their Criptonoight is lust, fear, fidelity, lying, cheating and stealing
Just name a few, not to mention all the deadly sins
Chasing dreams which are inspired by demons
Blinding them while stealing their visions
His mercy is forever, so they sin
thinking salvation is insurance
But for every road they has to be a toll paid
Trials and tribulations
are tests which many failed  
But By grace we have all been saved
Since grace is Gods mercy

Shouldn’t we all open our eyes and see
That without the God we will never be good?

17 dead, school colored red
President parades hateful speeches
Gun control he says
Crowd yells impeachment
Mass murders roam school halls
Teachers lock shut doors
Please don’t shoot one yells
As the bullet penetrates her skull  
Bullied he yells
Mask on his face hiding his guilty conscious
Gun shot after gun shot
Bodies drop like dead birds flying in polluted air
Mothers outside cry tears
Afraid standing waiting for their child to run into their empty hands, comforted by emptiness
Clinching fists while raging in fear
Gun shot after gun shot
Cops come to the scene cause a scene
Victims rushed to empty hospital beds  
Now covered red
Mothers and fathers hold hands as they prayed
Faith becomes relevant when pain becomes evident
Gun shot after gun shot

If you are going to write a poem about me
Write it for your own therapy
Write about my flaws and insecurity
Write about my lack of love
and addiction to fantasy
While suppressing my reality
Write about how I’ve been lost romantically
Like seriously hopelessly I am romantic
Especially when these emotions keep abusing me
Write about how I have been chasing who I am supposed to be
But running into who the world has chosen me to be, stuck in a box sealed with no identity
Write about the freedom which I have been chasing
but never having the ability to grasp
as it has simply eluded me

Rain falls from heaven
Bitter cold breeze Numbs souls
Wind chills speak a language only the lonely understand
Raising hopes were meant to fall
To face the following season
The coldest one of them all
A cold so bitter it Whispers painful joy
leaving your body shivering as it aches
making painful noise
while reflecting on past mistakes

My heart grew senses
when it started feeling your pain from within
The way it felt your pain was through empathy
Leaving me to touch your emotions
My love was the cure to heal all of your emotional burdens and emotional expressions
All I could utter when pain became a close enemy
was that my love for you was deeper than the struggle you were drowning in

A thousand lifeboats couldn’t save your sinking soul, too many pieces to hold, Vacancy it found on the shallow floor
Showing too much empathy left us both empty, and silence became the ear we expressed our deepest fears to

She scared him when she told him to unplug his heart from hers
She touched and played with her open scars
Bleeding, while she visited her past
He tried to repair her
But she was not willing to let him touch her scars
So her heart went far
He ran after her
Only to find her hiding behind her insecurity
Changing her character
seeking a different identity  
It was easier to run away from love
than face her reality
She overdosed on fantasy
And died to the sound of misery

Her love was nothing but a mystery

She burned with passion as I sacrificed my heart for her to use as a canvas
She drew art only my soul appreciated
It thirsted for her existence
Holding on to hope
While giving my all she loved with grace
The universe was never enough space
For her beauty, was far beyond royalty
Love and loyalty was what kept me addicted
To her presence

If anything know that this heart beats
Creating instrumentals, that have rthyms to your heart beat
Synchronized we swim to satisfaction
While multiplying genuine affection
As it Clogs our imagination
Thoughts so deep they drown in the ocean
you had 7 billion choices to love
But me is who you picked above
If anything know that my love for you will never die
Like a ghost I will hunt your thoughts, dreams and imagination

I remember cold nights
Crazy fights
Deep thoughts
Scary moments
I remember speaking to deaf ears
Expressing my deepest fears
Shading these cold tears
Just to be told I wasn’t enough
I was just a moment
I was just someone to occupy your space
Something to embrace your presence
It’s evident that now that you are writing a new chapter, my name won’t be mentioned
But please remember to give me credit for at least taking your class on love
Even though I failed it
I learned a lot from it
I grew from it
If I was to take it again I.....

Comfort Me
Hold me, touch me
Restore me, heal me
Fill me to feel me
Don’t leave me feeling empty
Alone and lonely
Comfort me in the storm
Keep me warm
Hold me like the womb I came in from
Comfort me today
so I don’t seek comfort in what pleases the eyes
Let me get lost In your heart
Glue my emotions to yours
And pray that they never get torn apart
Comfort my soul
for it knows nothing but the feeling of your love

I saw fear in you as he hugged you
You begged him not to let you go
Holding him closer so he could touch your soul
He smiled and wished you well
Not knowing that he was the cause
of your tears in the well

Drowning in emotions you were
But you painted a smile so good
He thought you were doing well

What he didn’t know
was that he was the one who belt the well
Which your tears occupy

Crossing roads with no stop signs
Even danger fears me
Love scares me
Risks bore me
Love confessed to be my enemy
For many years it fought me
Till it won me and now it abuses every part of me
I gave it hope but it’s still wants more from me
With every piece of my being it forces me to be vulnerable, show emotions that are relatable
So now every time I say “I love you” I take risks not knowing if that will be the first or last time I say that to you
It was risks that got me this far
It will be risks that will expose my hearts scars

Aching hearts speak louder than healed hearts
They tell stories of being torn apart
Paint pictures of painful art
Images of struggle, hidden below empty bottles
Empty needles which entered numb veins
Just to sustain feeling sane
Love is a drug addicting
Contradicting, controlling,
laced with emotional healing,
mastered by emotional killing,
secrets of the naked soul it’s forced to start revealing
Vulnerable minds exposed
hearts beating at the speed of light
While crying in darkness
Love is a mess cleaned by emotional struggles
Painful but yet appealing
Vengeful but yet caring
Hateful but always loving
Aching hearts trust in pain
to validate their feelings

My name is _____
I’m addicted to poetry
One word changes me
I’ve been an addict for the last 20 years
When I met poetry
I was lonely
afraid to live life because it was scary
I hid in my misery and found comfort in my insecurity
I cried tears faced fears,
cuddled with nightmares, opened old scars
Then I met poetry
Words so deep it touched my soul
Peace it brought to me
In love I now fall
My past poetry helped me forget it all

Admitting my addiction
gives validation to my feelings
I seek no rehabilitation
For this addiction gives me complete satisfaction

Today I wrote a poem about a poem
In that poem
I wrote about my mind going insane
The emotions I poured on them
Leaving me numb to pain
Forcing my mind to go with no direction
Worst fear as a writer is having ideas
That won’t leave your brain
Lacking inspiration
Having feelings that can’t be shown
Mental imprisonment, given 25 to life
Suffering to live
While living to die
Ideas tide in millions of words
Only to be expressed in one emotion
Writers block is the disease I suffer from
It’s destroys my creativity
forcing me to judge me
While making me feel all alone
It’s just me and this pen
that can quickly turn to pain
Today I wrote a poem about a poem

When it comes to love...
One day we are running away from it
The next day we are running to it

Sometimes it kills us
Other times it heals us

But no matter where we go
love will always find us

She picked wars with words
He fired back with silence
Both injured from the battle
They crawled back into a bed full of ice
Hearts cut in slices
Emotions blown to pieces
Bodies cold and numb

Minds so restless
Loving became pointless
As they worshiped silence
Obeying it as it created more space

Black in America
Constantly working on proving their worth
But denied rights based on skin shade
Faced 400 years of slavery
Add 400 hundred more years

Black in America
demoralized belittled
Looked at as difficult riddles
brutally murdered by law enforcement Chocked, shot, slammed, denied access to minimum wages
Locked and preserved in cages
Given life terms and long sentences
Without ever writing a paragraph
Forced to live in ghettos
cold street raise cold killers
Institutionalized drug dealers  

Black in America
Living life to prove that their lives matter
Sad to see a people surfer just to prove their worth
Living in a cold earth
Numbing to human emotions
Black in America is scarier
than the war on terror
Reality is equality is just an illusion
Fighting for peace with no solution

Dear love  
Pray for this love of ours to grow
When it comes to you
I want nothing more than all of you
I want your love
I want your passion
I want your desire
I want your secrets and confessions
I want your ice and I want your fire
I want your tears and your fears
I want your scars and your perfection

I will love your imperfections
as if they were my own
I will love and cherish them  
I will love your insecurities
because you appointed me
as the head of your hearts security
to protect and honor with loyalty

Late at night when my eyes can’t close
I lay awake thinking of you
Wondering if you are awake too
The price I would pay to see you
Is beyond limitless
Time is supposed to be the healer to old wounds
but this one is Permanent
It even has a dent in it

This one is deep
You left me with a hole in my chest
Now I stare at an empty soul
Looking at these empty walls
Flirting with empty thoughts
While memories creep into my mind
Just to stop and remind me
That my heart is now empty
and drowns in flaws

Wind blows deep
Giving heart beats

Twisted leafs fall
Onto Cold grounds

Love whispered in insecure ears
Quickly turns into fear
Flowing deep enough to awaken heavy tears
Drowning in pain she floats her emotions to a loveless soul
Seeking skies but sleeping on empty floors
Staring at the mirror
Reflecting on the fact that she is insecure
Secured by depression and anxiety
Which comfort her with worrying
She sees no tomorrow
as she is comforted by sorrow

I needed yesterday
Just so I can appreciate today
And if tomorrow comes let it know that I will cherish it until it becomes yesterday
But for now let me live for today
Because yesterday’s dreams
was for me to see a day like today

If you loved once
you can always learn to love again
go through the growing pains again
but smart love is not falling victim to the same person who hurt you again and again

Smart love is knowing when to lose
just so you can love again

Pain is silence covered in beauty
to comfort the lonely.

Love is not perfect
But it is worth it

Love is not always beautiful
But it will come to you, if it was meant for you
It will make you reflect on the inner you

Love is not always easy
But it will hold you gently
kiss you softly
touch you deeply
move you emotionally

For me it never had a starting point or an ending point

I just knew it had to be given
You were the chosen

I showed it by never forgetting where we were going

Goals set, in midnight conversations, early morning calls, late night walks

Never asked you to be loyal
Always talked about keeping it real
It’s like the scene never ended and you kept the reel
Never needed lights to show the actions
No amount of cameras could capture the excellence of your presence
You never left even when you were given the evidence

To you my loyalty has no expiration
Your heart is it’s intended destination

Be the hope you hope to bring into the world
Love strong love hard
Smile long
Show others what it means to hold on to hope
Trust the universe to pick up your energy
Cast out your enemies
Take out your insecurities
Feed your courage and bravery
Be the hope you hope to see in the world

Unique heart beat, beats on emotional minds
Who should I trust my soul or my mind
Left isolated, feeling Segregated
Body, mind, heart soul so separated
My emotional home invaded
Anger whispers in my ears
Stress smiles as it pierces my eyes
Looking down the hole of emotions
Sad, lonely, depressed, unimpressed
Heart bruised from being beaten
Abused now less used puking emotional expressions
What is this water leaving my eyes
Migraines knocking on my forehead
Begging me to let them in, mind feeling thin
These are my words and emotions I feel when I think of losing you

You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served
Stop force feeding yourself emotions
That don’t exist
Find the love that you deserve
Bravery is not fighting for those who left
Bravery is leaving those who hurt you
Broke you, demoralized you, and abused you
So leave that table with a tip for the next lover
Don’t hold on any longer
Any form of disconnect is a sign that you need to write your next chapter
Leaving might hurt now
but your heart will thank you later

Night falls on the heavy sleepers
Slapping them with dreams and sometimes nightmares
Crying night tears
Body shocked stuck in a maze with no lighters
Darkness roams empty souls
Growing tired of vision as things look blurry
Gasping for air they awake
to find their bodies numb to move
Feeling like their bodies are being chocked
Mind being provoked, emotions evoked
Sleep is good, sleep is deadly, sleep is heavenly, sleep can leave you feeling empty
Heavy sleepers are victims of sleeps terror

He said you will never catch me in my emotions

And then she came around,
now his stuck in his emotions
Deep like the ocean
She explores him

She comforts his insecurity
Protects and loves him with dignity
Shows Love and loyalty
She is his weakness
As he is her strength
They hold each other
as they dream of forever
True genuine lovers
Hidden emotions find comfort under covers
Whispering secrets kept between them
Love so strong and powerful it blinded them

Thank you for my insecurity
Because of you
I will always add a brick to my wall of emotions
Slowly build a wall for security
Because you took the best of me
Destroyed me and pretended to love me
While emotionally manipulating me to fall for your weak minded loveless excuse of existence, pulling me back in with resistance
While my mind told me I would regret this
But with every kiss I found you blameless

Your love was irrelevant
But you still found it evident to destroy my beating heart
You painted over my aching soul
Covered me with your flaws
While you force fed me your insecurities
Now I doubt I could ever love again
Because to feel this pain again
Could be the beginning of the end again

I wonder if you are the cheractors you write about

Because every time you read me your poetry
You forget you are talking to me
I see you try to hide in your words
Scared of the scars on your heart
So you dress your emotions in empty oceans
Painting beautiful art in a desert full of feelings
Sand storms cover your hope
so you turn to faith
But end up preaching to atheists and narcissists
Who only believe in nothing but themselves

Stolen souls taken by 12 thieves
Empty bottles used to heal bandaged scars

I never thought I would see the day in which I drown in love

I beg of you please don't save me

Let me drown in love
For to drown in your love is to love in your deep ocean to surrender all deep emotions

Without flaws
perfection would mean nothing
That's why I admire your ability to show me your flaws and insecurity
Letting me in and allowing me to build our loyalty

I am not afraid of what I can be
I am afraid of what you could be without me

I held you back, because I felt you needed me
But in reality you were always free to be who you wanted to be
What scared me the most was knowing that You would be ok without me

I told a caterpillar that I loved it
And it became a beautiful butterfly
I told you that I loved you
And you became the reason why I am still alive

Hidden emotions got you feeling captured
Like a prisoner
You are locked (in) (security)
25 to life, scared to face who you are supposed to be

This fear rapes your sense of security
As it Demoralizes your reality
Scared to be free, so you face burglary
Robbed of your deepest sense of emotions
As your feelings drown deep in the ocean

You are insecure about the way you
      Talk
          Walk
                Smile
                     Look

uncomfortable in your own skin
so you wear a persona that fits another

Lately I have been feeling at peace with my emotions
Floating in a deep dark ocean
But still finding complete satisfaction
I found a solution to all of my painful emotions

"You"

loving me with complete satisfaction
regardless of my reaction
taking in all of my rejection
Forcing me to face my lack of emotional affection
Teaching me that to love we must take action
You staying around and showing total devotion
Loving me with no limitation

This peace I owe it to you for loving me regardless of my inability to love you to my best ability

This tranquility has become my reality