Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
484 · Jan 2016
Do You Ever Stop?
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
do you ever
stop
for a moment
from your lurid glances
through beady middle aged eyes
sweaty palms groping feverishly
through my nylon soccer shorts
at junior boys' camp,
do you ever
stop
to think
beyond your own
abusive selfish intentions
to a world
beyond
your decrepit
**** *******
rotten soul?
do you ever stop?
I share this autobiographical poem in the hope that it helps other survivors and STOPS any abusers! I am 21 now and at peace with myself, but it's a rough road strewn with anger and bitterness and demons from the past haunting the present. You can get over it and you can move forward and I'm still writing my story... :)
455 · Oct 2016
The Enchanters
Timothy Ward Oct 2016
shallow people
seemingly unaware
reviled most
by themselves
deceitful reflectors
loathsome lonesome
interlocutors
lurking
in their own
shadows
devouring affection
utterly incapable
of reciprocity
Every now and then I bump into this type who charm the pants off me - well not quite! - and I have to ask myself to slow the f down Timmy! These are the "shape shifters" who seem to have an uncanny ability to find my tender spots and tap them to their own advantage- if only for the sake of stoking their ego or whatever bizarre agenda they might have. I don't try to figure them out - but time exposes them if they are genuine or not.
454 · Sep 2016
The Rocks (haiku 5-7-5)
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
watch wave after wave
splashing the faces of rocks
glisteningly clean
My favorite pastime at  Pismo beach when life and thoughts get overwhelming
447 · Sep 2016
The Ant (haiku 5-7-5)
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
an ant stops to see
as mankind destroys itself
sans humanity
441 · Jan 2016
O Palmyra!
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
o palmyra
lonely sentinel
to know you
was to love you
your silken threads
were spiced with gold
we trade today in
hate twice sold
faith in the
Almighty's trust
and now you are but
dust to dust
As an architecture student it broke my heart to see ISIS destroy the Greco-Roman city of Palmyra which sat on the crossroads of the Silk Road for centuries! Cultural infantilism!
434 · Oct 2016
Not Exactly
Timothy Ward Oct 2016
i now love
you
the way you loved
me
when i loved
you
so stop asking
me
if i love
you
in the same way
you love
me
now
it's not exactly
the same
anymore
He had his chance/s and he blew it. When I wanted him he had eyes for others and when I gave up on him he came scurrying- a day late and a dollar short. I've moved on but he still annoyingly persists. Some people don't understand Integrity or boundaries.
424 · Sep 2016
Letting Go
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
i sleep
wide eyed
in fear of letting go
of my fears
and flying
away




F                        R                        E              ­          E
423 · Sep 2016
The Mountain (haiku 5-7-5)
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
winds    blow    ceaselessly
waters rush down rivulets
a      mountain     crumbles
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
the might redwood
standing tall resilient
ignoring      mankind
I came, I saw, IKEA :(
416 · Jan 2016
Ode to an Ex
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
haunting history
bittersweet memory
sensual delights
of corpus nights
tremulous whispers
emotional fissures
grazing touches
loving clutches
heartwarming embraces
heartbreaking retraces
My ex wanted desperately to get back together again for some bizarre reason! It brought back very mixed emotions but I'm glad I cut cleanly!
415 · Oct 2016
Antipode Familia
Timothy Ward Oct 2016
Honest souls
Dishonest lives
Gracious hearts
Calculating minds
Fractured families
Love unwinds
When you find yourself at polar opposites on almost every issue that bifurcates the family it is time to question belongingness. Especially when you find yourself on the wrong side of bigotry, intolerance, prejudice, pettiness and conditional affection. Time to move on.
415 · Feb 2016
Picnic @ Pismo Beach
Timothy Ward Feb 2016
sand pipers darting
hopping over ebbs and flows
picnic at the beach
The sand pipers are a metaphor for mankind, the ebbs and flows the vagaries of life, or ones emotional well being, the last line suggests we enjoy the here and now much as the sand piper does on his inter tidal meal! :) I realize haikus should not be explained... but on another site I always had ppl asking me what I meant. Let me know if you would like me to abjure!
399 · Jan 2016
Haiku
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
little planet blue
one tribe one world one fortune
we are in heaven
397 · Jan 2016
Empathy Monochromatic
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
we've melted our poles
yet we polarize ourselves
in intolerant black and white
395 · Jan 2016
Haiku
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
a century oak
standing for a hundred years
this winter is cold
393 · Feb 2016
O Cupid!
Timothy Ward Feb 2016
lustful bow tenses  
war of lust or lust of war
mankind is groping
This is my first conscious attempt at a senryu after being inspired by several skilled writers on HP! I researched the format - it must be 5-7-5, 17 syllables, dark humor with a punch line at mankind! :) Always appreciate the feedback to improve.
389 · Oct 2016
Why Couldn't I...?
Timothy Ward Oct 2016
why couldn't
you see
what i saw
in you...
the eyes of
fidelity
or perhaps
i was choosing
to see what
i wanted
- nay -
needed
and you were
but a reflection
casting a
wayward
glance
Sometimes we dive into relationships more out of needs and wants. This was the case of my last tryst. He and I both came wanting something rather than wanting to share something of ourselves- big diff! Turns out we both fell flat on our cute *****! :D
388 · Jan 2016
Joyful Sleep
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
my fears arise
you rip apart
with soulful eyes
and open heart
voice so gentle
touch so deep
souls atremble
joyful sleep
386 · Oct 2016
The Embrace
Timothy Ward Oct 2016
You embrace
Fears
But shun
Your gay son

You embrace
Life
But not
My "lifestyle"

You embrace
Publicly
But loathe
Me privately

I embrace
Your ignorance
But spurn
Your rejection
Coming out is a mixed bag for everyone. My parents were jerks about it to put it mildly. I'm over them and the process and hope others see that life is too **** short to worry about eyes, skin, weight, height or sexuality. Only the judgementally religious, deeply insecure and the salaciosly gossipy seem preoccupied with the sexuality of others! Get over yourselves! ;)
386 · Sep 2016
Rainy Weekend (haiku 5-7-5)
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
sheets of rain pour down
cleansing the city again
i splash about town
Nothing like a good splish splash of puddle jumping in the rain to take one back to the fun of childhood :))
384 · Oct 2016
Note To Self
Timothy Ward Oct 2016
in pain
relief
in frailty
strength
in fear
courage
in loss
release
in grief
gratitude
in acceptance
love
All too often I find myself looking outside for strength validation and support when a little self reflection can be a lot more sustainable. This poem is a reminder to myself to keep it simple.
380 · Oct 2016
The Arboretum (haiku)
Timothy Ward Oct 2016
A poet struggles
While mockingbirds entertain
The forest echoes
Man v Nature The struggle continues unabated.
379 · Feb 2016
Man Misdirected
Timothy Ward Feb 2016
Heavenward stretching lofty spires (a)
Man created strife (b)
In his penchant to fly higher (a)
He built a world that co-conspires (a)
All he sees is hate gone rife (b)
Realizing it's too late (c)
To carve out peace with use of knife (b)
There's too much hate (c)
For one man's life (b)
The poem feels almost asyncopated and I chose my diction carefully to slow the pace down and make it almost choppy ..to reflect a disharmony of man's actions from his professed religious and lofty ideals. I left my rhyming notations to reflect the difficult pattern this poem required. a/b/a/a/b/c/b/c/b ...I'm really gravitating to short form poetry more n more. Your critique is always solicited to improve the craft! Thank you!
367 · Oct 2016
Sweetest Of Memories
Timothy Ward Oct 2016
I am
Grateful
For the gifts
We shared
Of ourselves
With each other
I shall
Choose
To remember
Only
The sweetest
Of memories
Now
...and I begin the painful process of closing a chapter on someone who walked out on me then wanted to walk back in again. I was angry briefly but now I'm just disappointed- clearly age does not equal maturity for some!
356 · Oct 2016
Thoughtless Thoughts
Timothy Ward Oct 2016
Choose your memories
Bestill your thoughts
Quiet your mind
From thoughtless thoughts
Been reading up on a great 20th century Indo American philosopher J Krishnamurthy from just down the road in Ojai California. Brilliant mind and simple man who was touching on neuro-biology and habit pattern formation as a theoretical construct in the 50's-70's before fMRI's could decipher this stuff! Check him out on YouTube - to my friends from India ... you have a hidden treasure!
353 · Sep 2016
Holy Land? (haiku 5-7-5)
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
they threw rocks at us
we bulldozed a few houses
O Jerusalem!
Humanism or Tribalism...we must make a choice before we chuck a stone or start up our Caterpillars!!
347 · Jan 2016
Haiku
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
out of africa
awoke a great species once
still 99% but chimpanzee
341 · Oct 2016
Urban Jungle (haiku)
Timothy Ward Oct 2016
No one seems to care
Ambulance for our neighbor
We are ill - at ease
I live in an apartment complex close to campus. An ambulance had arrived but beyond the curious gawkers no one gave a **** about the person or his next of kin. Have we really become such disconnected shells obsessed with "selfie" image? Social Media is NOT community!
331 · Sep 2016
My Broken Soul
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
the tide's awash
the beaches fresh
i surf on thoughts
a tangled mesh
my lonely church bell
tolls and tolls
brief respite to
my broken soul
There are times when one feels hurt and lost. This is one of those times.
329 · Jan 2016
Only the...
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
Only the orphaned
Crave family
Only the violated
Crave shelter
Only the insecure
Crave validation
Only the dying
Crave life
Only the the embattled
Crave peace
This has potential for misunderstanding! I only speak personally of a craving for, not the appreciation of... !
322 · Jan 2016
Reunited
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
goose bumps
and chills
my skin
tingles
with
excitement
as i'm
consumed
by you
322 · Sep 2016
Ode to a Broken Soul
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
you were only
good
at beginnings
you always
destroyed
yourself
just when
you were
touched
by the beauty
of your friendships
anchors to your restless soul
your broken heart
won't hold
321 · Jan 2016
Haiku (5/7/5)
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
**** sapien
i ****** fellow beings
an apex species?
321 · Jan 2016
In Man's Image - God!
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
enough
of your merciful
God/s
in whose name
you wreak
havoc and homicide
on a world paralyzed
by fear!
i  have tolerated
your intolerance
long enough
and i fear not
you God fearing
violence peddling
hate mongers
who find
no peace in peace
even if it were
predestined!

rise above
your tribe
primate!
319 · Sep 2016
The Blanket
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
shattered
pieces of memories
tattered
emotions wailing
silently
as i patch and stitch
and sew
my present
a blanket of scars
Ever healing one breath at a time mostly!
307 · Sep 2017
Set Me Free...
Timothy Ward Sep 2017
I dread each eve so filled with grief
A heart benumbed in disbelief
I rant, I rave, I cry, I pray
Why does my angel so betray?

In bed I stare awake all night
Frigid fear, orphaned plight
I pinch and zoom and try to clutch
To reconnect - one last touch!

I'm haunted by that blessed call
When you hit the dreaded "wall"
I pray you're on the other side
Free of pain, strength in stride

Another morn, another fright
Sleep escapes, emotional blight
O Mom, I hope you hear my plea
From my demons set me free!
6 months after my moms passing what continues to haunt me is the decision I had to make to stop the meds when mom slipped beyond the point of no return. No child - of any age - should have to make that decision. The docs force family to decide WHEN. And I had to sign off. I am haunted by signing off on my moms final departure!!! I ask her forgiveness- she was too weak for us to discuss it prior to this happening- she declined very very quickly. It's terrible and I talk to her every day but all I get is silence. I hope she understands n I hope I did right by her.
306 · Jan 2016
Haiku
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
frantic inner voice
tsunamis        of  memories
a merciless night
304 · Sep 2016
A Winter Storm (haiku)
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
stormy waves pound shores
rocky beaches lay barren
hermit ***** scurry
The art of haiku is to use the prism of detail to magnify and vice versa - without too much explaining. I hope I've done better on this one.
301 · Jan 2016
Breakfast In Bed
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
lazy saturday morning
eyelids heavy
nuzzling under
down comforters
extracting one last
rebellious wintery snooze
it's my turn for breakfast in bed
freshly brewed coffee
banana pancakes
smothered in love
...and maple syrup!
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
pyramids            crumble
one again with the desert
scattered   to   the   winds
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
284 · Jan 2016
Exodus
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
what of the poets
who tire of whine
as our village is crippled
with Bukowski and whine
being creative is playful
when there is pride
but it's dreadfully painful
if excitement has died
some legends have packed up
and its too late too rue
lets take pride in this village
we call planet blue
278 · Oct 2017
Silent Vigil - Haiku
Timothy Ward Oct 2017
A child is weeping
An urn is filled with ashes
The sea gulls silent
278 · Jan 2016
Scarlet Letters
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
must our words
cause so much pain
must our words
cause so much shame
must our words
so much abrade
must our words
so much degrade
watch our words
our words we must
It's a poem dedicated to all who ostracize and marginalize those whom they judge "unworthy"! In my case it was my parents, friends family at various points for being gay. Let's not hurt those we don't understand - try empathy! ; )
271 · Sep 2016
I Stand
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
I stand



Before you                       Cloaked




InVulnerabilty
Sometimes in trying to be candid and vulnerable we share too much with the wrong ppl and then not enough wth the right ones.
271 · Jan 2016
Blue Sanctuary
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
songs of endearment
enticed us here
deep blue sanctuary
not man's "frontier"
the seas grow silent
of sacred sounds
"humanity" bereft
of life we have drowned
268 · Sep 2016
Will I Ever...?
Timothy Ward Sep 2016
will i ever
be able
to take you  
into my arms
once more
and hold you
and look
into your eyes
and find
my trust
restored
again
Writing haikus is teaching me to keep it simple. My ex boyfriend left and now wants back and I'm not sure if I'm ready willing or able - he doesn't seem to understand
264 · Jan 2016
Papal advice
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
Rancid emollients
Abrasive salves
Crocodile tears
Insipid passion
Contrived emotions
Spare me your
Hollow empty
Sin mongering
Religious rectitude
And make your
Living like we do
Earn it!
I am so tired and disgusted with grown men of "the cloth" playing moral arbitrators in our lives, while preying upon the innocent. The hypocrisy is despicable, and I have personal experience, so spare me your defense of the Holy Sea and its factions! If there was no God and no church would you all of a sudden have no sense of moral turpitude? What utter nonsense!
259 · Jan 2016
Haiku (5/7/5)
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
pyramids crumble
one again with the desert
scattered to the winds
256 · Jan 2016
Haiku
Timothy Ward Jan 2016
a giant redwood
kneels down to the axe of man
a butterfly weeps
255 · Sep 2017
In Memoriam - Haiku
Timothy Ward Sep 2017
The cold morning air
Buffeting off the tombstones
Stinging...tearing eyes
Finally mustered up the courage to visit the grave and place some flowers. Enough said. :((
Next page