i have never met one who makes my soul so willing to be wrung
she conquers all idea i had of "Peace"
demanding to be felt
requesting to be seen
i wish nothing but to lay between her legs and dreams of days yet to come
she is a ******* pipe dream
she does not know the consequences of her loving
and she does not care
that is why i adore her soul
look at me
look away
believe my lies and hope to God she never sees
she could destroy my very psyche
how ironic
she is a ******* thunderstorm
she creates the pit in my soul that will only be filled by dancing
through her rain
i will not run at the sounds of danger
i will not hide from my destiny
unless it is inside her clouds
her mouth
i will drown myself in her fears and bury myself beneath her seeking rain
i cannot stand this
i cannot stand her
i will kneel.

how awe inspiring
a love derived from love
a love derived from fear
everything i ever felt
has led me to this wretched "here"
pull my hair like you pull my heartstrings
im sure we'll do just fine
everything i have ever known about you
has made me want to call you "mine"
you are strong in more ways than one
a lover has not needed to commit such felonies as me
"well... that was fun"
and
"i cant believe how long that took you to see"
rattling keys doused in ivory peace
lovely lovely souls masked by a need to feel first at least
at last
i have longed for a day of fulfillment
yet today i am met with nothing but turmoil
this hellbound love does not feel heavensent
but this day is the day in which i refuse to recoil
i would not be the same without you
R

starry starry night
dazed clouds with tomorrows intent
if you cannot find eyes that feel like your favorite work of art
and hands that hold the halt of every beating drum
keep looking
breath that feels like the likelihood of lovers never meeting again
legs that carry the weight of your worlds entire contentment
arms that welcome the most dreadful of sins
if you have not found
the shoulder on which you can forfit your deepest civil wars
keep searching
you will
i have

our fingers lace
in a vast depressing attempt to keep safe from yourself
i feel responsibility in the slits that take form in your psyche
i should learn how to stop
learn how to breathe
learn how to not
fantastic uncertainty for days unknown
does not equate misery by my shattering ribcage
please think of me again
remember my name and let me save you next time

i wander throughout
i see words without meaning
songs without feeling
and you
always you
a flooded drought of lovers unsaid
unasked for energy your disdain cannot reach
please tell me my voices are heard
stomping on the keys has not left me still unknown
i love you and i love you and i hate everything that comes with it
i see my future staring up at unobtainable boys
tired all the time
ive yet to stop loving
lord knows ive tried
what happens when i do?
what happens when you dont
welcome to the lowe

a smiling terrain
i hope you're happy
im taking myself back
begging my heart for a break has been far too incompleted
your grey walls and titanium windows have kept me down, haven't they?
your watermelon grin is fateless and faultless and i hope to God it never goes away
but when it does--remember to love?
thank you for hurting me and making me weaker
i definitely might've needed it
be joyful
i will be too!

im going to write
until the pain goes away
it hasnt worked yet