floating it seems
above the cities and Merchants i so desperately Crave to ground through
i cannot faiL
only yOu who haVe conquerEd my doubt
i walk onward
without fear of what iS to come
the smell of popcorn and ridicule is ripe in the air
those who pray for mY failure have ascended my egOtistical ways
you will not touch me
as i stand Upon a rope so thinly cut you wonder of its existence altogether
i know below me lies too much strength to lose
too many lovers have let me fall and not enough saints have held my chariot
i feel too keen to be

i think i have found
the best coping technique
and that is to--love.

tossing and turning as peter in a storm
dreaming of you as i lay awake
shades of zaffre and mist overcoming in the toll its taken
to drive my psyche to levels of strange
i go to seek a great thereafter
never before known to this realm of possibility
you attend my every dream
haunt my everwaking present
you are the reason i long for more
*******
she only holds so many attainable reasons
only so many dreams to be crushed and you have let her down
lover boy
he has bore too many names to ever play your games.

tampering with my unruly undecidable fate will result in your damnation
i am flowing with estrogen and auburn flames
shoot me with your attention?
and i will burn your name
you can not could not and will not control me longer
as quickly apparating as your fleeting joy
you do not own me
your vicious sneers and ripping of walls has only made me stronger
my little deaths are not your toy
i dont blame my wrath on your ruthless black magic
just as you cannot blame the sun for crashing into jupiter
nature has a way of making itself known

i want you to know
that your grotesque absence here
has not broken me

my body feels numb
in the absence of yours near
pressing against me

he makes the world wait
for his beating whim
radiating the smell of artificial cherries and failure
your kindest words slit my throat like a knife
you are my closest beckoning risk
a testament neverending
he begs for no one but his love
his pain is wasted upon men screaming slurs and shouting hate
he’ll tattoo the lines on his wrist and vow to the masses
all is mind inside my well
take it back love
your complete contentment and absolute absolution
is too much for my weakening confidence in your wellbeing
simply free loving he says*
find the good behind my darkened eyes and i will reap all your sins
my dear sweet ever suffering risk