When I was younger I thought rainbows were the most beautiful things you could see,
But then I saw your face my whole perception of beauty changed for me.
When the darkness that surrounds me in the form of my friends,
Sometimes it takes me awhile to notice that there are nothing but dead ends.

To get me out of any bad situation all I can think of the light you have given me,
Your smile brightens up my day even when you've never tried to.
Your laugh fills the room and makes my every pore glow with glee,
How you do any of this without even trying I have no clue.

I smile every morning knowing I get to see you again soon,
And maybe one day I'll be able to do the same for you.
Until then every time I see you I will smile like a goon,
Because every day before this my love for you grew.

I used to wake up
To the beat of the drums
And the pitter patter
Of solders outside my door
"at ease solder,
we're going to war"

They would say
As we crossed the valley
Green men, green trees
Passing us by
Without many to try
Many would die
Except my brother and I

We would fight the good fight
Even when he was gone
Many months at a time
But one day there came a knock
With many a medallion and a glock
Two men sent my mother into shock

I miss you brother
Though I didn't know
The stars and strips buried with your body
One last mission I sent my men on
To protect your body
With a green man in your hand
Your Purple Heart will glow

You bring light into my eyes
When I can only see darkness

Words float
Through my head
Though they do not escape,
If I were to give them my voice
I'd be hanging
By the neck.

You pollute the room
With absent minded words,
Yet you expect an audience
To applaud
The things you spew.

Behind my back
Speaking words of wisdom,
Noone likes a prophet
Who can't open his mind,
Before his mouth.

I think about what would happen,
If someone could read my mind.
What if she could hear my thoughts?
Would she love me
Because I think of her so much?
Or would she be disgusted?
At how many times I sing her name in my head,
Because I like the way it sounds?

Would she smile at how beautiful I think she is,
Or find it repulsive,
That I can remember every detail of her face?

I tell her she's cute,
But if she knew how many times I've wanted to say she was,
But didn't,
Would she want to know?
And if she knew how many times I've written
"I love you"
In a text,
Just to erase it,
Would she say it back?
Or would she want to get away from me?

If she knew how depressed I feel,
How bad I can get.
With my past that I've hidden from everyone.
If she knew I hid my agonizing depression from her,
So I don't have her either worrying
Or hating my guts,
Because I should just, "Get over it."
Would she still want to see me?
I hide it from her,
So that I can focus on making her happy,
But is her not knowing
Still doing
What it's supposed to be?

Half of the things I think in my head
I can never put into words,
With my overactive anxiety.
So if she was able to read
Would it make a difference?
Would knowing the happiness
I feel whenever I see her,
Make her feel the same?
Or should I hang my head in shame?
Would knowing that I hide my overactive brain,
So I can share happiness with her,
So someone around her
Isn't depressing
Would she be happy in knowing I care?

I was    scared.

To become

Simply

                 thoughts


Love
                      comfort
                   ­      safe

Or      another.



       hurt




I want nothing more
Than        you happy.




It's you that matters.

What does it take to smile and say
Everything is okay?
I've learned it's easier
To hide and fade into darkness
And be reminded that "this is hopeless"
Than to fight

There is more fear hidden within us
Then there is within us wanting to fight
All that we have inside us will still
Push our happiness into a frown

I have fought to get to where I am
Yet every time I get myself out,
I am pushed back again
I fight and push to get up out of the darkness
Just to go back to where I began