What have I gained?
What have I tossed?
What has been the actual cost?
All of this pain
A heart of frost
None of it worth what has been lost

©2024

I'm far from being a worthy investment
It's pretty evident
Someone would have every right to be hesitant
And feel the growth of resentment
When so many details are absent
My mood isn't constant
Had a mind but lost it
Thoughts run rampant
But are often incoherent
Called the cops on myself for self inflicted harassment
A living predicament
The opposite of a sycophant
My betterment is, at best, flippant
And I can already tell everybody's sick of it

©2024

Make sure to be sure whatever you're into is worth your investment
Feel free to absolutely and completely question any involvement
And you might as well entertain all thoughts on forfeit
I expect you to do so at any moment anyway so go for it
I'm so use to it, being the easy one to forget,
That I notice it before you mention it and am already over it
It's not genuine grit,
It's just avoiding a downfall that hasn't bested me yet
Even though it's a who's who when it comes to who's counterfeit
And I'm sure you're surely as surprised as I am I bet
When the breakdown is broken down and we're all faced with what we're gonna get

©2024

I'm tired of fighting for a we that you don't seem to ever be in the mood to fight for deep in your core
I'm tired of working on a we just to have me thrown in my face till I surrender and hit the floor
I'm tired of having to be perfect in order for me to be worth you sticking around for
I'm tired of being in a single topic argument just to have you bring in dozens from the way back store
I'm tired of being held fully responsible for these issues I have but am not even remotely responsible for
I'm tired of working on us issues just for you to shrug them off 'cause I have so many more
I need you to want me to be part of your we, otherwise what the fuuck are we struggling through this fire for?
I'll be waiting for your answer by the exit gate but only for a couple minutes more

©2024

Words I wish to hear

Your heart is worthy of love

Your soul merits happiness

I'll have nothing if I lose her
If I stay I'll lose myself
So I'm forced to ask myself
What is the better future?

©2024

The ascending angel of light
rises from the dark in the night
displaying colors that are bright
and is seen by awakened sight.

None may ever see its glory
unless proven to be worthy
and in their daily life's story
win at God's Grace a priori.
___