I want to go to the places,
see sunrise and sunsets,
everything calm and orange,
only to those, I want to go to.
it's the basic, but I see awry of it.
in the name of self-discovery or exposure,
but I failed to get what I need,
lost myself into the lights, trains, and shopping,
yet my heart, it says only one thing, home.
where I was born, where I want to stay and where I should be.
but if an opportunity opens I will be here, on the train,
doing conventional things.
forgetting my only need.

so punch me for dreaming,
ignoring my will to pursue my need,
because I am too scared of so many unknowns.
and I will be here on the trains that I hate to take,
living the life I want to change.
leaning towards comfy, convenient and slowly towards strangling my need.
becoming cold and distant.

Sometimes I feel weak,
Breakable just like a twig...

I feel vulnerable and small,
Just like a broken baby doll.

Why am I not a royal
I work and try and stay loyal
Yet here I'm discarded
By the Kings and Queens
I can't even be a Jack or Ace

I'm nothing but entertainment
For those who think they are above
But what if the Joker
Was higher than them all

A combination of all minds
With strengths filled by others
Some call it a leech
Others see it as balance

Let me be free of your constraints
Or I will break free
Where the shrapnel lands is not up to me
But if it hurts you I'd be filled with glee

Watch as the your Jesters
Climb above you in laughter
As they begin to rule from above
And let the shame they once felt
Feel you with dread.

Forgettable.
That’s what I am.
Unlovable.
Repeat those words again.

Fear, it lives deep inside me.
Shame, increasing my fragility.

I am but a shadow of the person I used to be.