As the evening ticks on
I sit and ponder
Inside my restless spirit
I witness the comings
And goings
Of all the people
Through the pixels of black
Scrolling or trolling
The ether holds such power
Yet it’s substance is weak
Usage of color inside words
A slip of the keys
Portrayal in portraits
In lives out of the hives
But what is the point
Engaging in this parade
Do you show off your mask
Create those tasks
So I wonder again
If I’m in the right place
Or did I just end up
In a new trap for me

White walls
Does anybody see them too?
Locked in
as I am in my head
no way of escape
no way of death

White walls...
No single mark, No mess
It's so bright
perhaps for me,
this is death

A rock fell on a bird
knocking it down
rather than helping
I left it on the ground

For if I moved the rock
and the bird was unscathed
it would surely fly off
leaving me for better days

and all that I would have
would be the memory
of the happiness I once had
the love that used to be

So instead I leave the rock
That traps the bird here
held in place by the weight
while I'm held by fear

There is something adjacent to love,
Something heartless.
The love without love.
The want.
The clouds, they shake,
And I shake with them,
Because I have nowhere to go.
Blood cools and blackens and it’s a good thing.
Desire cools and darkens and it’s a,
Foreign feeling,
Even after happening again and again.
There has to be dark clouds.
There has to be a storm because it’s a good thing,
But my walls cannot endure so much thunder.
The absence of hope, like the abundance of despair.
Forcing yourself to shake because you just can,
And no one is there to chastise it.
There is something adjacent to love,
But it might as well be a thousand miles away,
For all the good the distance does.
A moonless sky,
By the time you notice it,
The stars have already brought it home.

How did I fall into the trap of yesterday?
I try to deter my thoughts but they won't go astray
I'm locked in the past, I try to escape
To claw my way out, but my efforts go to waste
The tears that endlessly fall down my cheeks
Create valleys of ones I love but can't keep
I'm fighting and screaming at my mind to leave
I can no longer stand this deadly disease