We are spinning!
Spinning!
Spinning!
Yes, we are tumbling down.

It is thrilling!
Thrilling!
Thrilling!
Up until we hit the ground.

[RECOVERED POEM OF MINE THAT I FOUND]
I’m utterly terrified at making people understand
No matter how many times you explain
They will never fully know
It’s a scary thing
But also kind of thrilling
You can whisper all your thoughts to the universe
And they will hold them forever
But the people you talk to about your feelings
Won’t ever be as good of a listener
As the stars
s. a. s // 8:26 PM, December 18th, 2014

Are the most thrilling,  the ones when things are unclear

I try to put my thoughts of you, this, us, whatever this is or isn't and how it makes me feel..I try to put all of it into words. I don't even care if they're beautiful or not at this point, I just want them to be in word from so I can clear the mental space.
But I'm starting to realize that the reason it won't happen, the reason I have no free mental space is because you have driven me to the point of a depressing, thrilling, painful, madness.
And I'm addicted to the slivers of blissful hope found buried within the shards of confusing misery you leave behind in my bed.