I am tired of your complaints,
as I am sick of early morning faints,
I wander beneath the rain
in hopes it will wash away the pain
as tears were slain down the drains

I gasped; the earthly petrichor,
I lost myself in mindfullness, for a minute
how quick the weather changes,
how unexpected moments could be

Due to instant hollowness
I forgot I was praying for rain
in the midst of summer heat.

I have not seen my my mother for such a long time.
The sweetest woman.
Sometimes I ask myself "where is my mother?"
I really want to see her.
But death is so final!
I lost my father a few years before losing my mom.
I used to sit with him in cafes and chat about anything.
Sometimes I ask myself, "where is my father?"
I really want to be in a cafe with him and chat.
But death is so final!
When I was young I lived with my aunt for a few months.
A wonderful young woman, taken away too early by cancer.
She treated me like her own son.
We enjoyed having ice cream.
Sometimes I ask myself, "where is my aunt?"
I really want to share an ice cream with her.
But death is so final!
I lost a good friend to COVID.
We used to have lunch together.
Sometimes I ask myself, "where is my good friend?"
I really want to have lunch with him.
But death is so final!
My mentor died of ALS.
I learned so much from him.
Sometimes I ask myself, "where is he?"
There is so much more I can learn from him.
But death is so final!

I wish to adore you forever,
like a never-ending tale,
investing emotionally with each other,
being ingenious and avowing,
creating a stronger bond,
making you feel celestial and truly loved,
never fading away from each other,
like there’s no last resort,
until we pass away,
wishing for the same.

But this yearning is unfulfilled,
leaving me in consternation from the struggles I battle,
philosophizing, if this desire can become true,
handling being constantly misunderstood and bullied,
like a train coming to a dead end,
Praying for my deepest dreams to become a reality,
like a man who knows happiness exists in some form or another, even if it seems invisible to our own eyes.

My thoughts spiral, like a whirlpool,
feeling anxious and lonely,
trapped in loops of thoughts,
staring at the night sky,
wondering if my life would improve,
like a bird flying freely through the meadows, saying, "I'm free!"

Yet my negative thoughts don't perish,
reciting a man's cry in a psych ward,
like a homeless man begging for supplies and freedom, while being misunderstood,
But no luck.

I continue thinking negatively,
becoming used to feeling lonely, and commencing activities alone,
manifesting for peace and happiness,
to assure my inner child that my life will eventually become better,
like a plant regrowing from its dead roots.

I continue,
unexpectedly meeting new people, whom I can cherish,
being understood and included,
continuously improving myself to the best of my abilities,
becoming that one person I dream of being, living a happy and peaceful life.