i'm sorry that me nervously tapping on the table
annoys you
sara,
but like,
it's not as if i can just
not
have anxiety
or anything.

Tap, tap, tap,
Go the keys,
Tap, tap, tap,
Furiously nailing the letters to the page,
Like nails to wood,
One at a time.
Tap, tap, tap,
Words about heartbreak and love,
His eyes and her eyes,
The way his coat smells,
The way flowers grow,
The way music touches your soul.
Tap, tap, tap,
Spinning sugar-sweet rhymes about “womanly” things,
While my womanly thoughts lie burning in the deep,
Dark,
Cavities of my chest.
Tap, tap, tap,
Deep down,
Beneath a waterfall of Earl Grey,
Beneath the flutter of a feminine heart,
My womanly words crackle like a fire suppressed.
Tap, tap, tap
I can hear them rumble like thunder,
So close to being spoke,
Being written,
Being typed,
Tap, tap, tap,
Tap, tap, tap,
The fire and the thunder stay in my chest,
Rolling and seething,
Tap, tap, tap,
I continue to write,
Tap, tap, tap,
Someone else’s words.

There are those you meet
You've never laid eyes on them before
But you feel that  you've always
Been listening to their song
Their banter
Hearts that split you open
And throw you off your own
Imprint
And you start to wonder
If from now on
This ink is permanent
And when you start
To fall into their eyes
You feel like you could
Trust your life to them
You don't know why
It's not logical
And your mind starts;

"This isn't real
They're just like everyone else"

Still you feel their feet tapping
Inside your skin
And their hands brushing away
Your issues
And your tissues tingle
And don't give a ****
Because it's such a perfect
Moment
Where the air is thin
And cool and sharp
And cuts like a laser
Right to where there's
Nothing but this
And you find yourself
Wanting to be everything
That they are
Whilst at the same time
Knowing you already are
And you can't decide
Which is more beautiful
Their bone structure
Or
Their quirky knee-hopping
And you know for now
It's a perfect, transparent
Irreplaceable moment
When you want for nothing more.

Fireworks thunder like
Stars long gone,
And I’d remembered
Something Grandpa once said –

“The world’s a wonder,
But home will always be
Home.”

And the fireworks still thunder,
But I’m the star long gone,
As I’d remembered
Something my son once said –

Innocent and earlier mirror’d,
His eyes were all that’d speak,
“Please.”

So now, I knock, atop the “thunder”
Calloused oak ‘fore, “father,”
As I discover, come echo’d only answer –

Whispers brought the cold, and the scent
Orchids wrought, “tell him to hurry;”
Once and an only gasp I’d hear too late.