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Bre Feb 2020
I dreamt about getting out
14, knobby knees, the urge
To just give in and
Run run run
(Don’t look back)
To the edge of the world.

I was going to leave
this city in the dust.
Find a place safe
For us and our ideals
And never look back
To the edge of the world.

A decade passed
Goals and outlooks
And best laid plans change.
Growing up is pain.
I’m still here.

Is it considered being trapped when you hand-picked your own cage?
never thought I’d dwell in this self-labeled hell but I’m not that girl anymore
H Feb 2020
I fill my arms
    buying comfort
        trying to buy my certainty


there are dark seeds
    pushed into a corner

my arms are tired
            I have carried all this through the day

my feet are tired
            I have carried all this through my years


pushed into a corner they will wait

our home

      small boxes
                   larger boxes

dark corners

   our home


while they wait

i forget
             I forget to wake
                            I forget to make dinner

in the darkness

   there is comfort in forgetting

  
tendrils are spilling out of the cupboard

                 purple and white
                                     curling and searching

                                                 touching every dark corner

these seeds
        they have not forgotten
                                        to search



i will bury my  comfort and certainty in the yard

   we have out grown our boxes

                            searching for the light
Robby Jan 2020
No one will ever be ok overnight
Healing is a process
Processes take time

Time is irrelevant though
Stop watching the clock
Don’t look at your calendar

Just take a breath
Feel that air in your lungs
Keep doing that
Because somebody loves you... somebody
J R Cramer Dec 2019
This grief feels like
I got shot in the chest
Three months ago
And I look down
And I can see the hole
With all the blood and the gurgling
And I wonder
How bad is it
But I am still standing
And I am still walking around
And I wonder
When I am going to fall
Austin Campbell Dec 2019
by the sea
i saw her there,
lost on another voyage;
i hope she finds her way
home
floating on the notes
between the bars of the road
bopping along a scale
frozen in time
until the asphalt weakens
under the sun and rain and snow;
washout roads
lead to washed out souls
but
conditions have never been better.

i was saved by a martyr self
bundled in boxes and shipped off to
my sister — my keeper;
rescued by captain fantastic,
sleeping with myself,
saved in time tonight and every night
and winding it down
like the brown dirt cowboy you always knew i could be.

those songs came over the waves
sailing through my musical bones,
electrified;
neurotransmitters like piano keys
jazzing up a well-strummed soul,
fingers plucking heart strings without resistance,
and i am at the mercy of music you’ve made -
that mesmerizing melody
in the inflection of your voice
and
the movement of your body
against mine;
rhythm.

don’t **** this song and dance
when the curtains just opened

let this harmony take us home

and resonate.
This and "the rise and fall" are inspired by Rocketman and my own personal experiences around the time that film was released. Will always love me some Elton!
hiraeth Nov 2019
i didn’t think i would survive
but now i realize that
after all of this existing
i'm not just alive
but living
Jay M Nov 2019
The hardest thing of all
Is being enough
For yourself

Living
When all you wish to do
Is perish

Yet

There are things to live for
Love
Friends
Some family

But in the moment
The only thing is love
But that is even hazed over
In that moment of weakness
Taking too many
Seated on the cold wooden floor
Clutching a stuffed animal
In a closet
Tears streaming down
Nothing seems real

Next dawn
Dizzy, lightheaded, weak
Finally kicking in
Overwhelming regret and guilt

Trembling as I lay
Wrapped in the blankets
Soft like a kittens fur
Invisible tears streamed down
Cascading to the pool of emotions
I was drowning in

After time
Finally
Gaining the courage to talk
To a friend
Trusted
Explaining
Understood
Swearing never to repeat that cursed day

But
Still
I must tell my love
What to say?
What to do?
Oh the ache
The sorrow
Never do I wish to hurt him
Yet
This shall...
Still
I must be honest

Coping is a challenge
One I have yet to master
But one day
I shall tame the demons within
Look up to the sky
Breathe and say;
"I'm alive."

- Jay M
November 6th, 2019
I'm alright. Recovering.
Tori Schall Oct 2019
My thoughts smash through my skull,
bursting forth with a stream of words
that I can neither control nor stop.
Why was I created this way?
It is still never what I want to say.
No, that is reserved for the paper in which
I spend my days hiding in.
Diving into the endless recesses of my mind
to scratch and dig and pick out
a single strand of pain that filters
through the rest of my body,
so that I can feel raw and unbridled
as I scratch ink on the paper
in a scrawl that is nearly ineligible
not even I can read it.
So instead I let my fingers
go numb from gliding across keys,
so that all may hear my scream
instead of taking that pen and inking my arm
in red, red ink.
So much ink that it passes my skin and bleeds into my veins
just to mingle with the blood
and flow back out in rejection
of all that I was, and all that I am.
Tori Schall Oct 2019
Surely no one is meant to live like this?
Not meant to live in constant fear and pain,
waiting for the evening just for it to rain?

Surely it doesn't make that much sense,
to live in constant regret and sorrow,
unable to make it till tomorrow.

The days pass in a misty haze,
but you are still waiting for the sun.
The stars are vacant in the sky,
but you still wait for them to burn.

Why do you waste away in such a place?
Where your skin is unmarred,
but your heart bears all your scars?

Why must you stay here, broken,
like a porcelain doll that is so, so, fragile.
One touch could break you.

You beg for someone to look below the surface
of the ever-constant ocean in your mind.
But they only dip their feet in the water,
because it is much too cold to stick their head under.

Surely no one is meant to live like this?
Merely surviving until their death.
Never take more than a needed breath,
only an empty shell, uninhabited by any meaning.
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