No sooner through the door
than spider-legged anxiety
scurries back haphazard
like a frenemy whose cactus skin hug
begins in September and ends in July

Caulk these broken bows, please
whether salt or fresh water,
it has weight, presence
and if allowed to pour in
it will sink me

Trying not to think too much
won’t work
as the only perpetual motion found
in this empirical life
is in our anxious minds
so as life jackets go
it’s a no no

To ask for a shipwright is unfair
but to have you there,
tar brush in hand
is enough

How’s it going? Honestly?
C’mon, honest like 3 a.m. insomnia?

As the nights’ incremental dimming
draws us inwards,
how are you?

This idiot driven pantomime
of eighteen months
hit as hard as a guilt trip

So if you’re a little scarred,
a little scared,
it’s ok

They say that tomorrow is another day
which it is of course,
but the fear is it’ll send you
off course

But, my dears,
we’re all off course together

and who do I trust to help me
get back to happy paths?

Always, all ways
all of you x

To feel
All and intensely
To care
Fully and endlessly

Is it weak?
Or is a strength?

Confusion fogging my mind,
I struggle to accept my empathy
For people
For situations
Not relevant to my own
But relevant enough
To consume me
In second hand grief

I’m drowning
Yet emerging

Can I handle these emotions
And still support those in need?

It’s a question I constantly ponder.
With another outbreak,
It’s a question I need to answer.

fairy dust in the air
settling on each of them
silent understanding
lingering,
comfortable,
right.
not one of them noticed me
deliberately, in the background
casting my invisible spells
creating the comfort
they all so desperately needed
six people surrounded by isolation
in search for some sort of remedy
a cure to an ache that burns slowly
the fairy dust seeped into their skin
the comfort enveloped them
the magic was working
they all began to look like each other
the courage took hold
they each began to speak
the curse of fear broken

Looking back,
As I so often do,
I have two words to say,
Thank you.

I have loved you
For all the time I’ve known you.
Even after distance fell between us,
Even after the words in anger were exchanged,
Even after you’ve forgotten me.
I remember,

And I love you.

Even now,
Even though we never speak,
Never laugh together,
Never take the time to check in.
Even now you are half a world away
Living your dreams in all their glory.

I still care,
I still wish you the best,
I still hope you find your peace,
Your happiness,
That your world is beautiful
Because you deserve that.

I hope you never feel alone.
I wish you all the love
And kindness
And friendship you can find.
I hope they bring you joy
And peace of mind.

And if the world ever does get dark,
Or you feel lost
I always have my phone,
My door is open,
And my heart ready
To welcome you home.

I promise, you are never truly alone.