Colorful, it was!
Soon all the colors mixed up,
And turned into black..!

Soon I will start healing
At least that's what I hope
It's what I tell myself each night
To ease my grief and help me cope

What a cruel reality
The lonely ditch I've dug
No words to describe the depth of my pain
No one to listen
Nobody to hug

A terrible lie resounds in my head
"It's all your fault "
A voice declares
A barrage of negative beliefs cavort
In a twisted game of musical chairs

Broken promise of forever
Remaining shards rest in my hands
Along with the fading traces
Of our once-unified plans

Imprisoned by sweet memories
Held captive in their embrace
Try to take a step forward
But my feet are frozen in place

Never have I felt so low
Crushed by overwhelming desire
Not understanding how attraction so strong
Could suddenly with no warning expire

I yearn for happiness I had
Before blue skies turned grey
Now the closest to joy I will get
Are those moments in my mind I replay

An awful truth I must accept
Is that you are never coming back
And since you left my heart has darkened
To an ugly shade of bluish-black

I fear my tomorrows will all be the same
In this tunnel I see no light at the end
It has been a whole year since goodbye
And these wounds haven't yet begun to mend

Set my soul free from misery
And the love to which it is bound
Maybe then I will uncover peace
That so far cannot be found

Like always you cut me exhausted hungry destitute alone freezing stuttering in coldness without you.
Unaware of how you would pop up with open ended questions
to decide my life without you.

To answer your question with awareness fairness realizing it was you who questioned me;
out of the blue using a new name de plume that I had to intuit it right
that it was you
or forever miss my mark.

No it's never too soon nor too late,
for lovers to meet face to face;
after each catastrophic storm
had ended,
or after a lifetime or two.

You were the only real man
back with me after each storm.
hopping I rescued myself!
You reappeared dead silent,
Talking your own language and you never hinted what hell I lived through.
How astounded in shock wounded i was you carried open ended questions
for me to make lifetime decision
with my shattered heart.
you failed to realize struggling to survive homeless without resources
have no time for healing wisdom.

Why in the world do you ask such questions behind this mirror!??
And sadly for me, in my own answer,
you found your road ahead
with a significant other!.

That was easy wasn't it!?

Should I spell the many
Name De Plume on here HP with your many windows you used!?
You closed some and left others open.

I know you read me on here
delivering anonymous messages
  was that fair!?
~~~~~~
I live by this biblical rule:
"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud not covertly hidden..
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrong doings.
Love does not delight in evil
but love rejoices with the truth.
~~~~~~
It was never too late or soon dear;
you just asked too many **** questions, and in my suffering pain
I missed my mark again.
You made me stumble and fall.

Yes fall always, with your help.
~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba