Oh no-
Is that what this is?
If I think about kissing you-
Or I think of us surviving a hostage situation-
Or if I think of us cuddling-
Or if I think of you walking me home when I’m drunk and me getting inside okay-
Or if I think of a theme for our hypothetical wedding-
Or if I think about what you smell like-
Am I just smitten?
Or am I in deep?
Or are these just one in the morning thoughts that I’ll never repeat?

What choice have I?
Presented with my dreams in waking light.
What hope have I?
I could not resist you with all my might.

What choice have I?
When looking at your face makes me crumble?
What hope have I?
In your stare I forget to be humble.

What choice have I?
When the years denied me beauty like this?
What hope have I?
When I’d given up on the perfect kiss?

What choice have I?
You’re fire and light of the brightest star.
What hope have I?
I can’t believe just how gorgeous you are.

I found you in the cracks of winter. On our first date, we drank tea from cups bigger than our faces. You also told me you wrote poetry. I noticed how every time you would lick your lips before you would speak. The first time you read me a poem your window was open and it was raining. Your voice cracked and you cleared your throat six times. I was smitten. After our third date, I showed you my favorite place in the world. I took you to a bay on the outskirts of town. I told you the stories I carved into the sand a long time ago. I told you I came here every time the world kept turning but I felt as though I've fallen off, waiting for a guitar solo crash or a midnight knock on my window.

I wanted to tell you, you were my midnight knock. You let me hold your book of poems that night. There were bite marks in them from when you said you climbed up in trees back when you were as tall as the kitchen counter. We had conversations of Bon Iver and soccer as we laid on the sandy bay.

I realized that night I wanted to be there with you when the clock swallows up your time and watch indie movies on Netflix when there is nothing good on TV. I turned to look into space and swallowed all my feelings. I felt hollow when I looked at you and noticed your skin was old and tired. But you looked at me like you were young. You said I was the first to make you feel this way. I was smitten.

At first, I looked at you like a star but ended up seeing the whole solar system.

Decay marks my soul

Locked in cage
Hung above the waves

Despair coming in wavelets
A yearn that aches
Smitten by rotten stench

You ask me what I'm thinking,
every time my answer is you.

I'm thinking of the way my heart swells when I talk to you.
I'm thinking of how comforting the sound of your voice is.
I'm thinking of the ways I could make you laugh.
I'm thinking of all the different ways your face will light up when you look at me.
I'm thinking of how I can't wait to hold your hand.
I'm thinking of how I'll look into your eyes and know this is right.

I'm thinking of how soft your skin will feel after a shower.
I'm thinking of how our bodies will feel pressed up against one another.
I'm thinking of the ways I want to trace the outline of your body with my fingers.
I'm thinking of how your skin will taste after a dip in the ocean.
I'm thinking of how your lips will taste and if they'll taste just as heavenly every time.
I'm thinking of how kissing you will never get old.
I'm thinking of how our bodies will dance under the night sky.

I'm thinking of how happy you will make me.
I'm thinking of how happy you already make me feel.
I'm thinking of a future with you.
I'm thinking of how easy it is to fall for you.
I'm thinking of how we were destined to meet.
I'm thinking of how the stars are aligned perfectly for us to enjoy life.
I'm thinking of how lucky I am to have a future with you in it.