Won’t someone be my friend?
I’m getting oh so lost again.
I was left here in darkness so long ago,
I searched for love but only found snow.
I searched far and wide each day
and eventually found you on the way.
I thought you were it,
for what I had prayed
I thought you were light,
For my soul you had saved
Too bad you had to go and break,
my already fragile heart.

You Watch it crumble and watch it fry
Your bright orange sun would not subside
You set me a blaze and now i cry,
with painful burns I wonder why.
I gave you my heart for you were my sister,
I asked you to care for it gently,
As it was prone to blister.
My heart had been tormented before.
But you killed it... it won’t beat anymore.

I cared for you for so many years
I kept your secrets, tried to soothe your fears,
yet you take this dagger and plunge it into my back.
You pierced my heart in your viscous attack.
Your fire has gone and your song will not play
So I’m saying goodbye and that’s ok.
I won’t sing your treacherous melody anymore.
I don’t know why I hadn’t seen it before...
So goodbye my friend.
Goodbye for forever.
Goodbye my dear love,
I thought you would never
Break my fragile heart... but you did.

me to the happiest of places and steals my smile
she comes on birthdays and holidays
she comes on regular days
I say i'm alone but sadness is there
she's the only thing that hasn't left
she's stubborn
and strong
loneliness is sadness brother and stays the nights and days
he's there when i'm in a crowd full of others
he's there at parties
and at family gatherings
he's there even during the happiest of times
depression is their mother and leads her ducklings to my heart
where they rest and live there days and nights
sadness fallows, and her family joins.

She is the iceberg

That cuts a jagged hole in time

And a jagged hole in you

Scything deep

Carving the past

Leaving you adrift

In a sea of memory

No longer shared

if i had known those first two years three months
that you would come along
i'd have missed you like my sight
but she cannot miss sight who never saw
instead i thank the stars
for these past 20 years
and pray for decades more

How can I use my phone less? Should I?

I use it to reach out to my daughter...
I call my mama every day...

I tell my sister, I will call her
       And set an alarm to do it...
             Oh well...

I can just fly to the opposite coast...
      And hug her little one...
And be a perfect auntie... for one week...

Oh! that's so cheating!
     Ok, I'm cheating....
            But I'm good at it!

Do you know why?
     Because when I see your little one...
        I see you... and I love her so much!

And I'm sorry I wasn't a good sister...
I wanted to...
I planned on being fair, and caring, and supportive...
     When I was 9...
        But when I was 10....
I got jealous...
I didn't even know that I was...

But you know what?
I still ironed your little blankets...
And went to get donated milk for you...
     Yes!
        In the snow!..
           For like 20 min walk through the snow...
Because you needed milk to grow...

            ... and because I love you <3

You chose the southern wild, far abroad
For years now you verse in English
In love with a descendant of outlaws
Never you forget your heritage

Remember the snow flake hints the storm
And the pepper burns away the fever
Whether you are lost or feel alone
Find us in your heart, my little sister

i wrote about civilizations and greed
in order to scent creatures

scent and greed
friends are hidden between the
river's sparkling
hidden on the river like pearls

i don't know if you know
what i'm talking about

but that's fine my man
but that's fine baby

we simply have to ask brother
we simply have to ask sister
if we need answers for our longing

they are sitting by the tracks
close to the trains

they're always there
always: i promise you

don't be scared baby
i promise you:

they are always there
like moon and sun
like a being being overall
in our past present and future

a wonderful power;  in my son's
colorful bible it's called
"I-AM-THERE"

do you understand that?
can you grasp it?

many african-americans say
"you feel me?" in order to
express and share something
(much love to omar devone little)

on my chest there is a tattoo
the one you copied
in an hour made of

shadows
scent and greed
i wanted that

i wanted that you come to me
among the shadows
beneath the greed
above the scent

in a moment of "you feel me"

our skins were sparkling  
our souls were glowing

as we felt each other more
knowingly and more deeply
as ever before

we were two halves
overfilled with the longing of
our childhoods

so i had to come into you
you needed me to be inside of you

and we felt each other
more deeply as ever before.

we arrived:

at an old little house by the sea
green rusty window shutters
it's never cold there like florida

close to the waves you know
this old little house by the sea
it's always warm there

not far there is a train station:
where we find the brothers and sisters sitting by the tracks

we had arrived.

wieso es nicht gelang
wieso es gelang

als sie mich suchten zum liebemachen
als sie mich fanden zum liebemachen

wer von ihnen sang
wer von ihnen sang

sie kamen in scharen
mit freunden verwandten
all jene damen
all jene herren

ich weiß nicht wann
ich weiß nicht wo

doch ich weiß wie
ich weiß es wie

mir ist bewusst:
dichter und autoren werden
keine liebe füreinander hegen

(poet's note: my opinion on
the last three verses above has
fundamentally changed since i been
publishing here.)

liebe mich freund
liebe mich freundin

gib mir
schenk mir
suche mich
finde mich

ich habe mich auf der suche nämlich
versucht

kennst du, bruder, den weg?
den zugfahrplan?
die bedeutung der stahlstreben?

ich brauche eine antwort von
den damen
den herren

finde mich
suche mich
verschenke mich
vergib mir denn

ich schrieb über zivilisationen
von witterung und gier

witterung und gier
freunde sind zwischen dem glitzern
auf dem fluss versteckt wie perlen

sie aufzuspüren zwischen dem wittern
zwischen dem wittern
während des witterns

ich weiß nicht ob du weißt wovon
ich rede
ich rede

aber das ist in ordnung freund
aber das ist ok freundin

wir müssen bloß bruder
wir müssen bloß schwester
fragen

sie sitzen am gleis bei den zügen
sie sind immer da
wie der

“ICH-BIN-DA” aus der kinderbibel
meines sohnes

verstehst du das?
begreifst du das?
fühlst du mich?

viele afro-amerikaner fragen
“you feel me?” wenn sie
etwas ausdrücken und teilen wollen

ich liebe
diesen ausdruck
er zeugt von
etwas gutem, das manchen
menschen fehlt

auf der brust trage ich das tattoo
welches du abschriebst
in einer stunde aus

schatten
witterung
gier
ich wollte das
ich wollte dass

du zu mir kamst
zwischen den schatten
unter der gier
über der witterung

in einem augenblick des
“you feel me”

wie unsere häute glänzten
wie unsere augen glitzerten
wie unsere hände zitterten

wie wir…

ach komm!
was sage ich dir, freund
was sage ich dir, freundin

du weißt es doch dir
ist es bewusst denn du schriebst
mein tattoo ab in

ein buch mit perlweißen seiten
ein buch mit onyxschwarzen seiten

du bist perlweiß freund
du bist onyxschwarz freundin

du bist perlweiß freundin
du bist onyxschwarz freund

ich liebe habeshas
ich liebe äthiopien
ich liebe meine frau
ich liebe meinen sohn
ich liebe meine tochter

you feel me?

Tab you were my best friend.
The water to my soil. The earth to my sun. I still need you. My son needs you. You will always be my best man my sister and my tab.

For a long time now I've want to talk to you about what happened with chick. I will never forget that day. I tried like hell to get in that room. I may not know what he did to you fully but I remember what I did every second that day and it haunts me. I will never forget I did every thing I did to get in that room. I'd give anything for it to be me and not you. I will also take the blame and punishment for you. I'm so sorry he got you instead of me. If I could change the past I would.
I would change everything about that day If I could but I can't..and I will never forget it.

I want you to know one day I will find him and destroy his life and make him suffer for what he did to you. I'm so very sorry I wasn't strong enough to stop him from hurting you. I love you and what he did doesn't make you a victim it only maded you stronger. I hope you've recovered from it by now. And I hope you are finally happy.