Sparkling eyes and tender flesh are shielded
From the world in a tight hug.
A photograph captures my father’s love.
Gentle waves come home to shore, sloshing against the sand,
A constant in this changing land.
A sunset paints the azure sky,
And its fiery orb disappears into cool gray water.
A paradise in a different world,
Away from troubles and danger,
During innocent days I can no longer remember.
Blue balloons and princess gowns and smiles from ear to ear.
A sprightly girl, I put on shows for all to see.
My mom’s Elly May, and my dad’s Brown Eyed Girl;
He’d take me dancing in the living room and give me a good twirl.
These are the days I’ve come to miss,
And I wish I’d taken two bags of Oreos rather than one.
Friday night crime shows, or perhaps a girl with ruby shoes
My parents would welcome me into their arms for a movie or two.
Easy Sunday mornings and breakfast at noon
From the radio floats the constant loop
That is my dad’s signature tune.
I couldn’t wait to be older and live on my own,
Like the adults in the shows that I came to know.
I was always too busy, I was always too tired,
I put in more effort than was required.
Mistakes found me by the dozen, relationships suffered,
I wish I had swiped left before there was no more of me to offer.
Unsatisfied and hungry, ready for more,
I jumped on new freedoms when I saw the open door.
Now that I’ve grown in many a way,
I look back and think and wish I could stay
In one of those times where the horizon was clear
And decisions about college wouldn’t come up the next year.
I take bigger portions, I dress in my own style,
Who would’ve guessed beauty standards would grow
Far more than a mile.
I fear for my future, and I fear for my now.
I know I’d get through it if someone told me how.
My parents astound me in so many ways;
They do the unfathomable each and every day.
For a girl who can barely find her way home,
The world is a shark, looming with the unknown.
What lies in the future, no one can tell.
Before it gets better, it’s sure to be hell.
I don’t think I’m ready, and there’s so much at stake.
Perhaps I should be left in the oven to bake.
Everyone’s getting older; I wish it would stop.
I’d pay millions to the man who could turn back the clock.
I long for the good times, I long for simple days,
Yet I know no matter how many stars I wish on,
The now is here to stay.
I’ll smile and laugh about the future.
I’ll even put on a brave face,
But not for a second should you doubt
I’d rather be some other place.
I think the realization that you've grown up is something that is completely stupefying. For me, though, it's something that I've actively thought about for as long as I can remember. Humans are creatures of habit, and I'm sadly no exception. I wanted to share my struggle with my impeding independence with the world because I think that it is something that may resonate with a lot of people. We're all afraid to grow up and be on our own.
