What if you wake up one morning and realize you've made a huge mistake?
how can i compete with a love so strong it stood firm against such time.
most would keep their vintage desk over the freshly made one anyday. it doesn't matter if the wood is rotting or if the paint is chipping because repairs can be made. and you can make many memories at your new desk but it can never hold the same value.
i guess im just worried that i am not all that you need.
im unchartered territory, but she is home. please tell me you didn't rush in packing your bags, that you don't have to fly back. i don't want to just be a vacation.
i. I woke up with your taste in my mouth and your hands on my hips and I turned to you only to become starstruck for the thousandth time.
ii. I've always prayed that boys see nothing in me except pure lust, with you I want it to be everything but.
iii. Our love is soaring elevators in a dead city and brownie batter on Saturday afternoon. You're afraid of heights but you still stood with me on the edge of the highest parking deck.
iv. You call me beautiful and I am starting to believe it.
v. The mountains are calling but so are your lips. I wish I was able to reach both but my arms couldn't possibly stretch one hundred miles.
vi. I am terrified to give you my heart but for the first time it isn't because I fear I will leave.
Call me baby and tell me that when you look at me you see nothing but the stars. I want to awaken in you a fire that you've never felt before but I can't help but feel like I'll leave you scorched to the bone.
Run as far away from me as you can because I am a leech, a parasite, a succubus.
I need you to want me but I fear that as soon as you do I will disappear.
"i just want to be held right now."
"stop being so needy lol"
you say things are spiraling down but honestly i can't remember the last time they were looking up.
it's like i'm falling through the earth's atmosphere at an alarming 847 miles per hour and there's absolutely nothing to catch me or to break my fall. i'm not exploding, nor am i crumbling into pieces, but i am heading for certain death at an unsettling rate and i can't do anything about it. everything is flashing by in a blur and i am barely conscious yet entirely present and i can't help but feel like it's all my own doing.
from the auditorium to the top of the playground i've been overcome with pure anxiety and no matter how hard i try i can't censor their harsh tones and bitter words spitting out like fire in the room adjacent to mine and i wish i could close my ears just as i shut my eyes.
every syllable is replaced with a scraping fork on a plate and i wish you were here to hold me, but instead you cater to frustration and embody anger and i wish there was some way i could help.
this was the night someone broke into your house and the night my brother and his wife were fighting and the night after i hyperventilated on top of the warehouse (playground) with no one there to care