I stood apart with aloof dignity
A distant smile
He was upstage with strangers
Erudite I am with many
Downtrodden was never
Aloof for the school of accepted
Erudiate becomes obsolete

I wrote you poems
On pretty papers
With pens
So that when the rain came
It wouldn't wash them away
You tattooed your words
On the walls of my heart
So that when the pain came
The letters would stay
My ink was bright blue
And yours was black
I'm left with your tattoo
And you're left with a stack
Of papers with poetry
That will only serve
For mockery
I will always wonder
If you meant what you said
And you will always know
I meant what you read

I don’t regret meeting him because through him I met a lot of nice people and I don’t blame him for how I am and I still don’t know why we went through what we went through and I’m learning to be okay with that but it’s taking me time, like before I would dream of him and I’d wake up with an anxiety attack and I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t love him when I was with him, but later on it grew on me. But I’m slowly growing out of it. I don’t have panic attacks when I think of him anymore and my hands still get cold when I go to places where we use to go but I think I’m understanding what I’m worth more than anything. I read a quote one time that said “you can be with someone 2 years and
Feel nothing and you can be with someone for 2 months and feel everything” and I think that’s what happened so that’s why it’s taking me so long.

If I were to make a poem
About how you
Make me feel
It would contain
Waves of sadness
And mountains of doubts
heavy rains of anxiety
And tornadoes of thoughts
Forests of innocence
That the fires of passion
Would burn out
Lightning bolts of panic
And whirlwind of emotions
That’s all your about

My words
Like knives
Cut deep into your bones
And I had the audacity
To blame you for bleeding
Like a coin
There are two sides to every story
But the facts will still be facts
Head or tails
The difference doesn't save it
from being a coin
So I admit my error
I accept my right to remain silent
But before that
I'd like to recall
The night we sat in the swings
And talked from our hearts
For the first time
I'd like to refrain
From forgetting
The roses you brought me
That morning in May
It rained the rest of the day
But none of it enough
To wash away my smile
Your name is permanently
Carved into the walls of my heart
But I've learned to love
The taste of memories
Like I've learned
to accept coffee
Warm and welcoming at first
But if forgotten, bitter and cold
Waves of fear no longer wash over me
I am a skilled sailor
In the oceans of regret
But I am a martyr
On the battle grounds of forgetting
The way you looked at me
And held me at my weakest
No amount of words
Can express
The love required to save
a condemned man
My heart was long gone
Before you came
And I blamed you for losing it
When your hands hadn't touched it
Though your voice left finger prints
The day you told me
you'd chosen me over the million
So I guess I'll sign off saying
The memory of you
Is not a bomb to be defused
It keeps me safe on nights
When hope is not around
My sincerest apologies
For not knowing how to
Apologize from my heart
Instead of my head
And my deepest gratitude
Goes to you
For dealing with the mess
I am
And for staying
I will not forget you
And, God forbid, regret you

mushrooms to the finger dance


throw **** in the street and change locks....happy 1öö you old ****

                                           im just a vagabond searching for a sweetheart
at sears