i'm starving
literally

the bell rings
its lunchtime
my mind dings as i get in line

i see a skinny girl
without a tray
i guess shes right
no food today

i'll wait for dinner
i count it all in meals
if its more than one
then i'm breaking my deal

in my mind
it always repeats
"i can be pretty, i just can't eat"

someone calls my name
i wonder what they see
do i still look the same?
do i still look like me?

it's a new summer but i'm still stuck on the last
what i would or wouldn't do just to go back

i was a different kind of happy
one that could only be found with you
i don't mean to sound sappy
but do you miss it too?

i got so used to my moon
it became something i couldn't sleep without
now i'm stuck here in the same room
all alone in this house

sometimes i walk in
and i still feel it
us always talkin'
time won't ever heal it

can't spray that perfume
or play that song
smells so much like you
it's been too long

you taught me love is soft

you showed me it doesn't have to be
thorns,
tears,
secrets,
lies,
constantly being terrified

i don't have to worry,
i'm in good hands
i'm loved and you stay
instead of being pushed away

i know i'm safe
even when you sigh
you won't leave,
i know what's on your mind

you taught me love is soft
i hope i can do the same
rest assured
I'm in it for the long game

i keep forgetting you're not like the rest
i do all my betting on if  you'll be the best

you won't bite,
yet i still hide.
we work  out our fight
i try to see your side

i'm not your secret
you won't try to keep it
you love me freely
and want people to see it

i won't scare you away
even when i try
you promise that you'll stay
i'll love you until i die

i stand very still
wait for you to leave
you won't take the ****
what a pet peeve

i wait for the words
i know i'm too much.
one stone kills two birds,
something or such

walk away
i won't be mad
what do i say?
"it was nice what we had"

i'd do it for you
but you won't let me try
i'll break us in two
i hope we get by

don't clear your cards,
you have the perfect hand.
seven of hearts,
slipped through like sand

i stand on the line,
i'm all torn.
i tell you i'm fine,
we can't be reborn

"you can't just leave me"
i want to say.
it's not meant to be,
maybe another day

you cleared your cards,
lost the bet
aimed you darts
you get what you get

the moon shines on me as i sleep
i feel so loved
i am someone you keep

the wind blows through my hair
i feel so safe
knowing you and that you care

the flowers bloom their colors
i feel so happy
you and me, for all-time lovers

the sun warms my face
i feel so calm
you leave me in such a lovely haze

i'm always a secret
but not the kind that's kept

my name is only said
in whispers,
private moments,
and in your head

i'm only looked at
from across the room,
passing in the halls,
and when i'm pretty like the moon

it's all the same,
people are shocked i know your name

i'm here for you when you need it,
when its convenient

i don't dare wave or say hi
i'll cave before i say goodbye

we've gone through more,
we've been here before

it's not anything new,
it's just me and you

i watched my mom get hit
day after day
and never throw one fit

that was my idea of love:
be blind to the pain
just to keep sane

so when i was ignored
it hit like a kiss
to hear so many lies
felt like pure bliss

when i finally walked away,
the last time they grabbed my arm,
leaving the safe pain,
felt like self-harm

after finding the one,
i finally grew
that idea of love
i no longer know

you've been with me since day one
you've been my hope of finding the sun

you were my person before i knew your name
now I need you to keep me sane

your words were written on my heart when i was born
I pray they never become a language that is foreign

your touch has always been on my skin
how could this be a sin?

you had my first day
and you will have my last
i just hope to God
our days won't pass