I pace in empty space
through vacant air
I try to find my mind
in each mote of dust;
I sit, recline,
but cannot be fine
I need to find my mind

Too much stillness
Not enough movement.
So I run long and fast.
But the time doesn't pass
Any more than it had
When I was just sitting on my ***.

**** I'm bored.
I need something to do.
A new hobby
Trying on some shoes.
Everything exciting is too far away
Too expensive.

If I could be content with my own company
And never have to rely on anybody
I think I'd be more happy.
More self sufficient
And people would need me
Instead of me needing them.

And I get so restless
I just can't stress this,
ENOUGH.
Boredom bathed in the waters of monotony.
Spontaneity,
I dare you,
Call my ******* bluff.

You turn down the light,
you know it's time to go to bed.
Because dreading on this page
doesn't seem so worth it now.

You close those green eyes,
arms wrapped around
the letter against your heart.
Your life flashes back
like a little story in your head.
Wondering what happened
to that little boy.

We'll never know.

Tuck yourself closer
into these sheets.
Let the moon rise,
let the stars come out
into another restless night.

Let your mind slip away
under the pillow.
Let 'em run,
let 'em scream,
let 'em be free.
Because you know your better off
somewhere other than here.

Tucked into blue sheets,
knowing your sane
but everybody thinks otherwise.
Let them think what they want.

The demons come knocking
on your door
dressed in white.
I know you want to
push them away,
you don't want to do this
anymore.

Waking up to lies and lies again,
The more they talk,
the more you start
believing them.

Light bulbs were smashed in their sockets as she lost her mind.
She found a way to release the pain,
tearing the sofa cushions dusted with crushed saltines.
The sets of initials carved into the coffee table,
were the only thing left to remind her of the love she once lost.

It's as if I can feel every cell of my being illuminating.
Everything my fingers touch is electrifying.
My face aches from the corners of my lips relentlessly kissing the lobes of my ears.
Every word spilling from mouth is as dire as the need for air in my lungs.
My body is restless and weightless.
There is no euphoria I can't reach.
No amount of ecstasy I can't handle.
Complete bliss, if only for the moment.
Just as quickly as this paradise was built, even faster it disintegrates.

I think I have Restless Mind Syndrome.
I have not had it diagnosed but it should be, I might need to suggest to my doctors to add it to the medical books.
I think on second thought if I made that suggestion, I might get a strange look.
I wonder if the doctor would think I was a hypochondriac.
The condition gets worse when I hit the pillow and try to sleep, and sometimes troubles me to the point were I become an Insomniac.
I think and think and think and my thoughts seem to swim;  so much so that it is hard to keep track of were my thoughts end or begin.
If I was a drinker I might reach for some gin.
In cases like this it seems like my train of thought seemed to have derailed long ago.
The symptoms of my condition seem to be getting worse each year, one example is that when I try to write something down such as a phone number the numbers get messed up between my mind and the paper; It would appear that I have dyslexia because some numbers get reversed.
I get so frustrated to the point of tears at times, and fear that I am on the verge of losing my mind.
I think of all the things left to do, or think of things I should have done better, and I wonder what is the matter with me, when I think to much I fear insanity; I wish that I had a more normal mind.
I hope someone can find the cure for my Restless Mind soon before I run out of time.