shoot me!

cupid shot of love
words are expression of
heart's detest and love
love me this day
hate me that day
this is your way

I require of
you true love
you want to...
see me in buff
you are love buff
seeming your stuff

use me
dump me
and get away uncaught
I know too well your thoughts
long in the game I taught
to my grown ups

what you are is
camouflaging chameleon ants
flaunting and frolicking
in cascade parade
beholding...
glassy sea mirage

better back off!
case closed on debate
wished he wasn't late
sealed is the gate
I bet you have...
never seen me in rage

sealed is the way
to my heart and this pathway

what is it called when you need constant reassurance of your importance?
what is it called when you require frequent contact and kisses to feel wanted?
or when you feel like you don't matter at all to the person who matters to you.
what is it called?
cause i cannot find any appropriate words to describe how i feel.
how i am intensely pathetic and miserable both with and without you.
what even does that mean?
i'm nervous for the fallout
for the day you look into me and say
that you no longer love me.
i feel it coming
i sense it with my whole being
i can already feel you leaving me;
how my chest caves in
my knees grow weak
and my cries go unnoticed
but you still walk away
until then you just turn your head.

You might be ****, even kind...
But I care not for your ego.
I might as well be blind.

You might be interested in many things.
None of which light my fire.
A hollow heart filled with empty blings.

I live to build and design.
Practicality is so hard to find.
I want to understand the world.
Very few share my mind.

I'm simply complicated.
And there is no shortcut to my desire.
I'm after the impossible.
But that is all I require.