I've been running consistently to getting somewhere
And in this moment right here my soul couldn't care
About all the dreams or the scars or wishes
I've been planning to go through, for my body leaves
The sense of reality under the gravity
Of my own pressures and judgements, projections
Of being imperfect, these self-rejections
Disguised as ambitions
Couldn't fool any soul that they are soul missions

I've been running and bleeding and I'm tired of feeling
That I am constantly in need of some divine healing
Healing is not becoming someone you're not
But accepting yourself as you are, the whole lot
The shadows, the wounds and the darkness of past
The ways that you cling still to what did not last
The ways that you think endlessly into void
And the way that you let your thoughts steal the joy

Of being right here, nothing else to avoid,
Just being yourself, it's not to control
The ways you exist or defining your role
Into this life in such perfect ammounts
That things old as faith and as grace simply counts
To nothing

Cause I'll tell you, you're something
That could never be perfect, for you can't be a concept
But when you look at the rain or the sea, anything
That nature has brought into this here existence
When has the mind ever had the persistance
Or the ***** to say something as perverted,
As : "that is not perfect, it's not in control,
Of it's own fate or soul, there is too much flow
It's allowing itself to go with, it must be tormented "

For existence was always meant to be accepted
As a jellyfish accepted the tide or a leaf in the wind accepting a ride
Life never happened by action, it just was allowed
To come into being by the one who is proud
To exist as he is, silent or loud
Or however it felt called up on the mount
Of his body or shape, incarnation or being
Regardless of pain, imperfection or grieving

Things such as healing or letting go of control
Were never intended to torment the soul
Into changing what happened or what it desires
What it feels that should be or the band and the choires
It hears, but instead, it was meant to accept
What exists as it is in the now, it's direct
And it's grounding and kind and just this moment
Can bring an end to the winter that stood
In your door and your house when you said that life should
Be different somehow in the way that it goes
But you cannot decide nor the waves nor the flows
Of the ocean, the wind or the boat you are rowing
But just the direction you decide it's worth going


So if you ever have wished for a different ending,
Know that it's here, and it starts with accepting
That life is not made for the ways of expecting
But for trust and for faith in this neverending
Journey of life and this always changing
Existence you are, it's about surrendering

To who you are and the present you're living
And about the love you're allowing and giving
Yourself when you start being here and receiving
All that's been waiting for you to start feeling
Worthy of living.

_M.

I don't want to live forever,
I don't want to be flattered,
I don't want the world to know
that I was here and that I mattered,
I don't want any wealth,
I don't want the baubles that it buys,
I don't care if the sun is setting
or if it's morning on the rise,
I don't crave your fleeting fame
Nor the glory that you chase,
I'll not be trapped in moments,
I'll be set apart, no trace,
I do not seek a peaceful life,
I wish not to be "free,"
I want to be as fathomed
and as forgiving as the sea

God said do not babble when you go to pray
Filling space and time with little things to say
So, I give you a guide that you can follow along
There, come to the place where all can belong
Now, we need not pray it word for word.
We can do differently, and we will still be heard.
But think about the words you say
And think about how much they weigh.
Are we just going through the motions
While, what we mean, we have no notion?
The "Our Father" we've said so many, many times
But have we ever stopped to look between the lines?

It was brought to my attention by a friend
Who said something to this end:
The "Our Father" calls us to focus outward.
"Give us this day our Daily Bread" which is basic and turned to self (it's very small)

"And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us"
Our attention is focused not on ourselves, but towards others

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom and the power and glory
Now and forever AMEN"
We have now turned our focus to the universe, to Heaven and to God!

So often in the world today we are focused inside ourselves, it's all about "I" or "Me", what can I get, what's in it for me? It's small and lonely although we'd like to deny it and, sometimes, we lash out because of it. God calls us to be so much more, to be so much bigger. This world is temporary and fading and in the vast expanse of the universe there would not God in his goodness have created other life, other planets, solar systems. God is infinite, his love is infinite so why would or should his ultimate plan for us be this earth alone? Something so small and nothing more?

Lord, help us open ourselves up to your love, word and truth. Help us to open our hearts to all of our brothers and sisters and neighbors around the world and be open to you. Open our eyes and challenge us to expand and grow beyond ourselves. Elevate our thinking to you, help us be mindful of what we say when we pray and help us to pray from our heart and soul rather than our head. As we expand outward Lord, please draw us into yourself. On the cross, you spread your arms wide to take in all people and there is always room in your heart and your home for another. In your goodness, grant we pray, Oh Lord the courage and strength to do likewise. Amen.

When you feel the deeper calling,
Something yearning to be expressed.
A definite thing
Felt,
Yet unseen.
Elusive,
Stirring sleep, bringing unrest.

You’ve become shrouded
in years, my friend,
decades even,
of wonder and mastery.
Your noble craft, the role you play,
Has reached its brilliant totality.

Yet beneath the fading light
A gift for others’ lives.
A new reason for being and
Perhaps, It speaks,
my friend,
From nothing
beginning to Rise.

It leaves the body of knowledge-
Your blood, sweat, and tears.
Obsolete,
like gas station receipts
That wallpaper the rooms
Of victory over the years.

What you’ve achieved in life,
Grand and monumental
No Doubt!
Has become, as it should-
Just a shell.
Protecting Divinity within, what was,
and the fragile human without.

So sit, my brother,
With the pain and grief
Of longing.
And hear its funeral song.
For beneath the Melody,
Sweet sorrow brings with it
The birth of how you belong.

cobalt blue, lime green and
lemon yellow warp
stretches on a loom

the shuttle dances
back and forth
weaving my crimson weft
into the pattern of the universe

my pilgrimage zigzags
beneath the comb
as time winds the warp
which begins and ends
beyond my scarlet thread

I have gone through life,
But It had no purpose,
A meaningless stride,
Nothing beneath surface,

I have had no goal,
No dreams, no ambition,
Life settled in stone,
A fool on an audition,

In that mindless state,
I have lived for years,
I altered my fate,
Got rid of my fears,

I'm glad I kept going,
Glad I haven't stopped,
This tree keeps on growing,
This soul never dropped,

I wanted to stop,
My meaningless stride,
I wanted to stop,
This life with no pride,

There was an option,
But I never took it,
Life's filled with emotion,
But I do not look it,

I never thought of killing myself,
That was a way I never entailed,
I never thought to hang on a shelf,
I never made a plan so detailed,

I never thought to jump from a height,
I never thought to fall to my death,
To fall from a place where one could take flight,
I never thought to take my last breath,

There was no point of going that way,
That's why I chose to live one more day,
A day in my life, meaningless at times,
A day in my life, a place full of lies,

Now here I stand,
No more beneath surface,
Please give me a hand,
I have found my purpose,

For I found my cure,
For it is to teach,
For it's  to make pure,
What others can't reach.

Supposed to be a special day,
But I think it's all the same.
Do you think that in any way,
You could light this dying flame?

A year has passed,
Yet I'm the same.
It's not my last,
Still in the frame.

A younger me is left behind,
Truly, I want to see a smile.
My soul, my heart is still so kind,
Yet I can't smile for a while.

I should be happy on this day,
Should be excited for these gifts.
But nothing now goes in my way,
Things have happened, many shifts.

I don't feel happy anymore,
I do not cry any longer.
I have no one to adore,
To help me grow stronger.

And yet, I live another day searching for my dream,
And yet, I live today still searching for ambition.
And yet, Still I want it, to quiet down this scream,
And yet, I manage here to stay, still searching for my mission.

I just hope to find my way,
To have the strength to live today.

A zillion image of me rest in so many minds
I dare not swim into them

I have my own ocean to swim in
That connects me to the sea bed of my heart
The seat of my soul

For now this is my only intention
For now this is my only attention
For now this is the purpose I breath into life
----------------

They watch you silently
Then judge you loudly

It’s laughable

They have so much to say about you
But nothing to say to you

It’s delirious

They have so much to say about you
But no relationship with you

It’s ironic

They have so much to say about you
outside the relationship
but not in the relationship

Its epiphanies

They have so much to say about you
But never held a conversation with you

It’s bizarre ~ hold on!
It’s their instincts? Ooh wait their six senses?

They have a problem with you
But don’t even hold your number

It’s comical
Wait! How did that possibly happen?

Creating stories in their minds of you
Confirming the stories into other minds
Spreading their impressions among a few

Then stories solidify into truth
in the eyes of a few
Now open to all as a matter of truth
Now all is open to accept as face value

Little do they know
I’m flattered by all their attention
Care little of all their perceptions
Unimpressed by all their expressions of me

Idle it all is to my essence

Meanwhile,
I'm glad to be a subject of entertainment
To fill the empty spaces of boredom in their life

I said it before but I’ll say it again
What you speak of others in their absence
Says more about the speaker than the subject

Thank you for being here
NwK